by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

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The Latest Stories

The Kids Are All Right... But The Family Is In A "Krisis" "Der Nomen" Is Preston Let's Get Quizzical 1945: "The House I Live In" (Frank Sinatra) - 2010: "The Unit I Live In" (Mandy Patinkin) Ikh Hob Far Dir A Sod Is Blagojevich a "Dreykop"/'draykop" or Very "Klug" (Smart)? The Dreaded [Yiddish] P-Words The Yiddish Guide To Actor/Tenor/Vocalist, Mandy Patinkin The "Zup" Nazi Man Returns The 10-Question Chicken Soup Quiz Are We "Raykh" (Rich)? Mel Gibson: "Sha, Di Kinder Zoin Nisht Heren" (Quiet, The Children Shouldn't Hear) A Yiddish Guide To Larry King "Zekhtsn" (16) Words From Silk Salesman To Show Biz: The Humor Of Storyteller, Myron Cohen (1902-1986) Miami Stories "Der Nomen" (The Name) Shirley Sounds Better Than Savannah "Der Humor" of Office Relationships Elena Kagan Is A "Komish Dame"--A Funny Lady AZOY Out With Gout Introducing "Der Komiker," Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) The Yiddish Guide To Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

A Yiddish Guide To Larry King 3-Minutes Of Therapy Don't "Hakn A Tshaynik" 8 Million New York Stories 20 Questions* For Eliot Spitzer A $700-billion Bailout Package: "Genug Iz Genug" A Comic Proposal A Banished Word List for "Der Yid"? A Bisele Glik A "Diete" Is A Weigh Of Life A Four-Word Epitaph A Gute Neshome "A Gute Neshome" Bag Lady A is for Abecedarian "A" is for "Adolph" A Lebn Oyf Dayn Kop (A long life upon your head!) A Mother's Day Chronology A My Name Is Ada My Husband's Name Is...... "Ikh Fargesn" A Popular "Vort" (Word): "Unfriend" A Picture "Knepl" For Paul A "Shaynem Dank" for Calling About the Stop the Sag Campaign "A Shvartze Chaseneh" (A Black Wedding) A Suggested "Bucket List" For Jews A War with Di Tsung A Woman's "Kholem" (Dream): Two Humorous Stories A Yiddish Guide To Funnyman, Carl Reiner A Yiddish Guide To Molly Goldberg and "The Goldbergs" A Yiddisher Mama Shares a List of Great Christmas Lies Advice For Daddy-To-Be, Al D'Amato Advice For Dr. Phil Advice From A Florida "Snowbird" Advice To Teachers & Administrators Antoyshung for Orthodox Jew on Season 5 Of the Apprentice "Aktsent"* Or No"Aktsent,"She's Still A Yiddishe Mamme Acceptable "F" Words Advertising to the Jewish Airline "Pasazhir" Al & Tipper Separate After "Fertsik" (40) Years Of Marriage "Altsding" (Everything) I Know About Running A Small Business I Learned In Sleep Away Camp Ambien...With A Side Of Rugelach ...and Have a "Gliklekh"* Cholesterol-Free Thanksgiving Ann Landers Speaks A "Bisel" Yiddish Are We "Raykh" (Rich)? Are You a "Gantser K'nacker"? Are You a "Kikh" (Kitchen) Stranger? Are You Going To Be "Festive Frugal"? Atonement Starts With A 13.5 "Minut" Speech "Ayzkrem" (Ice Cream) Larry King Knows The Scoop AZOY Back To The Future Star Is Always Looking "Aroyf" Balance BBQ Time Be "Frayndlekh" to "Der Shrayber" Be "Frayndlekh" To Editors And Writers Month Be Fruitful And Multiply "Beybi" Einstein Is Not So "Klug" After All Billy Crystal, Your Home Looks "Mahvelous" Boomerang Kids Brooklyn, Schmooklyn! See "Brighton Beach Memoirs" Bubbles--You Made Great "Muzik" (1929-2007) Bury The "N" Word? "Narrishkayt" B.Y.O.C. (Bring Your Own Chopsticks), Disposable Chopsticks, and Chopsticks "Etiket" Can "Tsuris"* Be A Blessing? Cholent--The Sabbath Stew "Coastie"/"J.A.P." - Oh, The Labels We Give Ourselves And Others Cold? 'Influentsie"?(Flu?) 'Lungen-Entsindung"? (Pneumonia?) Cohabitation Is "Shlekht"* For Women's Health Collecting The Shards of the "Mazel-Tov" Glass Commencement Speakers Commencement Speakers, 2010 Communicating With "Got" Conversation Stoppers at the Bookmark Apartments Cooking like a Jewish "Bobe" Cruise Ships Cussing Folk: It's a "Shonda" Cut, Style and "Daven" Dear Bank Manager Dear Latchkey "Man" "Der Fartekh" (The Apron) "Der Humor" of Office Relationships "Der Nomen" Is Preston "Der Nomen" (The Name) Shirley Sounds Better Than Savannah "Der Panik" (The Panic) Over Mammograms Der Toes Der Vays Lign Diamonds Are A Girl's Best "Fraynd" "Di Shviger" in the "Vays Hoyz" Diagnosing The Illness In "Akhtsn" (18) Minutes "Di Frayndshaft" Is Gone...but "Der Kotlet" Was Free "Der Humor" Of The Senior Voter "Di Katastrofe" of Marital Disputes Di Shviger (The mother-in-law) 'Di Unterban" Encourages 'Der Shidekh" Dick & Jane - Oy, What a Por Dip In, Dip Out: The "Ink Monitor" Dismantling "Der Kinder-tsimer" Do Love and Marriage Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage? The Marriage Ref Does God Want Us To Be "Raykh" (Rich)? Don't Be A Weiss Guy Doing "Gut" Feeling "Beser" The Dream "Shtele"* Quiz Dressupyourtate.com "Druk" (Stress) Or Extreme Deprivation May Account For Increased Number Of Cancer Cases During The Holiday "Sezon," Does "VD" Mean Volume Discount? Eat a Little Something...then Stretch and Kvetch Egg Creams They're Batampt 18 Reasons Why Life Gets "Beser" After "Fuftsik" (50) Years Of Age Elena Kagan Is A "Komish Dame"--A Funny Lady Elvis Lives In Plastic...And Other News About 'kredit" E-mail, Email, or "Elektronish Post"? Empty Nest Syndrome Es Vet Helfn Vi A Toytn Bankes Eulogy for the Jewish Bunka Lady Even A "Stolyer" Must Have A Conscience Every Single Day Is "Tayer" (Precious) Everyone Kvetches Everything A Nice Jewish Grandmother Learned About Tattoos Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Kinky Friedman "Fargvaldikn" "Nit Oyf Eich Gedacht!" Father's Day 2009 Feeling Broke? "Er Redt Fun Haynt Biz Morgn" "Fertsn" (14) Children...then A Tv and Book Deal? Financial Conversations With "Mameh" Fngrs Luv 2 Txt Msg Grandma Freg Mich Becherim! Freg Mir Nit Keyn Kashes?  Farvos Nit Freshman "Tsen" (10) "Fuftsik" (50) Questions G is for Gonif Go Figure Go To The Movies...and Then Ess, Ess/Eat Eat "Got" Speaks To Me From Billboards Gotenu (Dear God) What Should We Do With Former "Krassavitseh" (Beautiful Women)? Gracie Allen for President of a Third Party -- "Der Khidesh" Party Graduation 2006 Great Moments In Shopping History Greetings from camp "Etiket" "Groys" Words Guthartsikayt Gvald! I'm In A daze of InTAXication Happiness ("Glik") Happiness is Having a "Shtele" Harvard Shmarvard: In 2005 It's Trump University Hatchet Man At-large "Shreklekh" Have Yarmulka...will Travel: Join The Peace Corps Helen Thomas, Shame On You Hello, Bobe; Hello, Zeyde Help! I'm Suffering From "Siddur Finger" "Heymish" Ho Ho Ho Santa's Got His Purell! Home for 'Der Zumer Honk If You're On The Way To The Gym "Hots Rakmones Yidishe Hertser" ("Have Compassion, Jewish Hearts") How To Avoid Putting "Der Oylem" (The Audience) To Sleep How to Redn Deli How I Learned a 'Bisl' Yiddish by Reading a Cookbook How's Ed Koch Doin'? Great At 85! I Could have Sworn I parked it right here I Read Part of the Book All the Way Through If You Want A Perfect Child, Go Find A Mannequin Ikh Hob Far Dir A Sod I'm Seeing "Royt" In Six Words--or More--I Love You Infertility 'Iz Nisht" A Laughing Matter Inquiring Minds Want To Know A 'Bisl' Yiddish Instant Tsufridnkayt Internet Addiction Introducing "Der Komiker," Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) Is Blagojevich a "Dreykop"/'draykop" or Very "Klug" (Smart)? Is Everything "Shlecht' For You? Is Hillary "Farklempt" Is Matthew Broderick a "Mittelmessiker"? It Takes a "Yiddisher Kop" to Teach Math and Science It's CH, CH, Like You Have Popcorn in the Throat; It's CCHHH It's Hurricane "Sezon" Don't "Panik" It's Never Too Late To Say "I Love You" Jamie Lynn Spears Is "Shvanger" and Other Bad News JDate at a Bulk Rate Jewish Geograph Job Hunting Wisdom Comes With The Years Joel Siegel We'll Miss You Joey Bishop--We'll Miss You Join Me in Sitting Shiva for the 2nd Avenue Deli

"Kaledzh" Graduation Keep Your "Gopl" Kids And Adults Talk To God 'Kompyuter' Dating Services Fixer Who Do Your Own Thing "Kritikirn" (To Criticize) "Kvalitet"* Time Is it more than "Tot Shabbat" or Gymboree? "Kvetch" Rhymes With "Stretch" "Lakhn" is the Yiddish word  meaning "to laugh" Laundry - Schmandry Wrinkles - Schminkles Let's Get Quizzical "Ligner! Ligner!" (Liar! Liar!) Look Who's "Kveln" Look Who's Talking Yiddish Mad Mel Mama, I Got 80% On The AP Physics Exam; And, By The Way, I'm "Shvanger" Men & Women: Are They Cut From The Same "Shtof"? Menschdom Men's "Gatkes" - An Economic Barometer? Mercedes-Benz Tales--with A Jewish Flavor Miami Stories Miky Understands Hebrew Mints On The Pillow...and "A Sakh Mer" Minyon Mensch 'Mishpucha "(Family) Day" Sept. 26, 2005 "Mobile Entertainment" Name That Song Money is Round - Sometimes It's Here, Sometimes It's There Morman Tales Mother Goose...or Mother Gooseberg? Moyde Zayn Zikh Mr. Schwarzenegger: You're Wrong! Florida Is Not Just For "Alt" People My Friends Are Making Me Zoftik My "Tate-Mame" (Parents) Never Wore Levi's My "Zun" Is Into Yoga; His Mother' Into Yogurt National Cheesecake Day Never "Esn" at Mom's Place Never Fist Bump A Rabbi...and Other Thoughts About Rabbis Noo Yawk Talk Now I Lay Me Down To "Shlof' NU? What's with the Educational Jargon? Nurse Jackie Agrees: Chicken Soup Is Jewish Penicillin "Nutsik" (Useful) Jewish/Yiddish Equivalents Out With Gout "OY"--The BIG Two-Letter Yiddish Word Oy Gevalt! I Don't Get It Papa, Can You Hear Me? Passover for Dummies Passover on the Web Pisk Melokhe Playing The Numbers Game Political Humor Postponement of Death Purim S.A.T. Putting The "Thanks" In Thanksgiving Prayers: "Fun Dein Moil Tsu Gots Oyerin" Proms Are 'Vunderlekh" (Wonderful) The "Tsveyter" (Second) Time Around Reality "Televisye'* With Hummus Redn Iz Billik? (Talk is cheap?) Reminiscing: "Es gefelt mir" Rest in Peace Bea Arthur RIP, Morty Seinfeld You Were A 'Richtiger Mensch' Robot Redford, Humphrey Robot, & Mr. Millennia Rules/Advice/Quotes For The "Fresser" Sarah Palin Is "Oysgeputst"...and Other Political Dress Talk Selling Organs Is A "Shande"--a Shame Sermons 101 Sew What's Nu? "SH/SCH" Words - As much fun as to say Sheybogin SHHHHH - The New "Non-Vort" is Hungry "Shemot"--the Names We Use For Others (A letter to Jackie Mason) Show-and-tell In "Tsveyter Klas" Shvim, Shvitz, & Shnaps? Just Learn To "Shvim!" Sneeze & Wheeze Snippets of Conversation SpongeBob (AKA "ShvomBob")is Missing Staging a Heym Stand Clear of the Closing Doors... Other "Aitzeh"/"Eytse" (Advice) Stanley H. Kaplan S.A.T.-Type Exam Staycation, Kidcation,Seniorcation, Or "Oyveycation" Stop Does Mean Stop "Gut gezogt." ( said) Stop-Light Diet Stop, Shtarker Survivor Series "Draytsn" (13) "T" is for "Tsedakah" Take The "Kinder" To The Park... And Leave Them There? Taking The "Ik" Out Of Mikveh Tales from the Front Stoop Tales From "The Vaytik Room" (Or) Physician, Heal Somebody Else "Tantsn Mit" The Stars Targeting The Illness Tata, Won't You Dance With Me? Teach me Yiddish Vort Tefillin Terrorist? Temple Bingo A "Gut" Way To Raise Money Thanksgiving 2007 Thanksgiving mit the Romano's The Big Megillah vs. Magilla Gorilla The Bintel Brief Is Back: Dear Esteemed Editor: The Business Owner's Guide to Yiddish The "C" Word--Cockamamie The Case of the Missing Blintz The Commencement Speaker Is "Robot Redford" The Confusing Hebrew Lesson The Dreaded [Yiddish] P-Words The "F" Word--Forgiveness The "R" Word...It Isn't "Rugelach" The "S" Word In Fashion: Seersucker! THE G.M.A.T. The Halvah Man The Ice Man [No Longer] Cometh... "Kindhayt" (Childhood) Memories The Invalid Mezuzah...and Other Stories The Jeans Test The Nanny" For Senator Such "Narishkayt The Kids Are All Right... But The Family Is In A "Krisis" The Number "Zibn" (7) The Pinkes More Than Just A Journal The Plaint of the Jewish Office "Arbeter The Poor And The Rich, In The Bath They Are Both Equal The Poshet Life The "S" Word...and It Isn't "Schmaltz" The September 11 "Telefon" (Telephone) Call The Sermon The "T" is for Torture The 10-Question Chicken Soup Quiz The  "Tselularer Telefon" Faux-Pas The Tson Fairy The Tummler Quiz The Will to Live The Yiddish Guide To Rabbi Shmuley Boteach The Yiddish Guide To Actor/Tenor/Vocalist, Mandy Patinkin The Yiddish SAT The "Zup" Nazi Man Returns There's No "Doubt" The Power Of Gossip Is Harmful These Are a Few of My Favourite "F" Words To Kvetch Or Not To Kvetch? That Is The Kvetchtion To Tza Tza Gabor,Madoff Is No "Dahling" Top 10 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Doesn't Want News Media to Cover Some of Her Speeches Top 10 Yiddish Expressions For The First Family Top 10 Yiddish Words Used By William Safire Travel "Eytse" (Advice) From A - Z "Tsen" (10) Letters, Notes And Press Releases The 2010 Yiddish Version of the "Driving Instructor" Two Stories for 2007 Unpacking "Der Bagazh" Using "Mathematik" To Find Your "Bashert" Vanity Zip Codes Vart Tsee A Minit! Ikh Pish Zakh Nokh Oys Vi Iz Ayer Nomen "Vos Iz" Diagnosis Momentum? Vos Zol Ikh Zayn? Wake Up and Smell "Di Kave" Wanted: Jewish "Mishpokhe" To Swap A Wife We All Need "Emetser" (Someone) Wedding Announcements We'll Miss Your Humor, Blanche Devereauxby Welcome to Air Chance Welcome To The 'Matsliakhdik"* Employment Agency...Press "Eyns" Welcome To The Nostalgia "Bukh" Club Wendy Wasserstein, R.I.P. Welcome To Cuss-free "Vokh" (Week) Whass-up With Stuff White People Like? What Should We Do With The Former "Sheyn" Women? Who is "Der Tate?" Wild Bloy Yonder Will Shortz Knows A "Bisl" Yiddish Wills, Clauses & Other "Narishkayt"* Wifely Duties Writing for Yiddish Publications Yiddish In 'Der Oytomobile' Showroom Yiddish "Mit" Jerry and Anne Your Baby's First "Akhtsik" (80)Years Yiddish Quiz For Bibliophiles Yiddishkeit In The Catskills Yom Kippur And The New York Times You Gotta Have Harts You Have Reached The "Khanike" Hotline You Say "Epl" And I Say Apple: Let's Call The Whole Thing Off You're Not The Only One Who Is Meshuge "Zay(T) Gezunt," Rabbit Ears (Good-by, Rabbit Ears) "Zekhtsn" (16) Questions For Dr. Oz "Zekhtsn" (16) Words Zeks-Vort Limit "Zol Zein Shtil!" (Let's have some quiet!) "Zolst Nit Ganvenen" (you shall not steal)

A Jewish Mother's Answering Machine at the National "Veder" (Weather) Service Did Max Bialystock And Bernie Madoff Conspire To Carry Off The "Perfekt" Crime? Estelle Getty, Jewish Octogenarian,was Right: "You don't have to be tall to be great." From "Amniosynthesis" To "Testtube": A Dictionary For Daddy-to-be, Tiger Woods From Pennsylvania 6-5000 to the "Kosher Tselularer Telefon" From Silk Salesman To Show Biz: The Humor Of Storyteller, Myron Cohen (1902-1986) Give A "Geshrai"--a Shout: Mahjongg Game Can Cause Epilepsy God can Create a Woman From a Rib, but can he make the Perfect Brisket? Brisket Stories, Humor, and Advice Goodbye Chicken Soup And "Gehakhter Leber" (Chopped Liver); Hello, Chase Bank Harry Potter Likes Chocolate Eclairs, Chocolate Gateau, Cockroach Clusters, & Exploding Bon-bons; I Like "Chocolitvak" Holy Moses! Pope Benedict Smacks Down On "Shiker" Drinkers, Speeding, And In-car "Zind" Is Paying "Koved" to Non-jewish Congregants "Gut Fur Di Yiden"? Is Your Young Adult "Dershlogn"? Does He/She Want To Stop The World And Get Off?" Joe "Der Rehren-shloser" (The Plumber) Needed That Interview Like A "Loch In Kop" "Kvitlach*...and Stories From The Western Wall" Let's Schmooze About The Words "Obambulate" And "Shpatzir" Mel Gibson: "Sha, Di Kinder Zoin Nisht Heren" (Quiet, The Children Shouldn't Hear) 1945: "The House I Live In" (Frank Sinatra) - 2010: "The Unit I Live In" (Mandy Patinkin) No problem is so big that it can't be fixed with pastrami...and other motherly advice Paul Newman Was More Than "The King Of Condiments"; He Was "A Gute Neshome" Read My Lips:  When Times Get Rough, The Women Buy "Lipnshtift" Sarah Palin Is A "Hockey Mom"... And I'm A "Tsitser Mom" Stopped Into A Deli During A Brief Shower; Should Have Kept Walking In The Rain You Can't Mess With Zagat - Have the 2nd Avenue Deli Cater Your Thanksgiving Dinner What To Do When "Hungerik"* Guests Arrive Unexpectedly: Take The Advice Of The Late Sam Levenson What?  You Haven't Read Garrison Keillor's Yiddish Dictionary...with 6 Pages Devoted To "Oy Veh" Alone? Will The Economic Stimulation Payment Result In A "Tsunami Of Tsoris" For The Consumer?

___________________________________________ Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of two books: "Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and "Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book! Yiddish Stuff Jewish Humor Schmooze News More Majorie Wolfe Principle Jewish Stories All Things Jewish Jewish Communities of the World Site Designed and Maintained by Haruth Communications