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VANITY ZIP CODES

by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
marjorie
Syosset, New York
Zip codes were set up to improve mail distribution; they define areas within the U. S. Bill Bryson ("I'm a Stranger Here Myself") wrote that "A long time ago people realized that you could remember numbers more easily if you relied on the letters rather than the numbers." In his hometown of Des Moines, Iowa, for instance, if you wanted to call time, the official number was 244-5646. But if you called BIG JOHN, you got the same number. Everyone could remember BIG JOHN.

In 2005, Forbes Magazine listed the most expensive ZIP codes in the U. S. They were: 94027 Atherton, CA
93108 Santa Barbara, CA
92067 Rancho Sante Fe, CA
92662 Newport Beach, CA
11765 Mill Neck, NYMany companies succeed by charging different prices to different customers.
Victoria's Secret was busted by irate consumers for mailing catalogs with higher prices to wealthier ZIP codes 43299-BUBUPeter Lauria wrote that Saks Fifth Avenue had convinced the USPS to provide it with a vanity ZIP code for its "shukh" department. It will read: 10022-SHOE.If vanity ZIP codes are even half as popular as vanity license plates, the USPS could make megabucks. Mr. Lauria gave the following examples of vanity ZIP codes: Trump Tower 10022-HAIR
Mayor Bloomberg's home 10021-RICH
Derek Jeter's place l0023-STUDHere are some additional examples: Starbucks: 98124-BUZZ
98124-KAVE
Was that a "decafe grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double shot, ginger- bread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet?" Stanley Kaplan 10106-PSAT
The test maven Funky Frum 63130-FRUM
an online company offering modest clothing for Modern Women. ("Frum doesn't mean "Frump.") Gelt Financial Corpation 18966-GELT Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream 05401-NASH

Gan Eden Wine 91607-VAYN
91607-VEIN

"Got Borscht?," a 94502-BEET
musical group

Veterinary Pet Insurance Co. 92822-HUNT

Kosher Komputers 10952-SEND
(It has 2 hard drives, one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games)

Center for "Krenk" (Disease) 30333-NISN
Control and Prevention (In Yiddish, "nisn" means to sneeze.)

Touro Synagogue 02840-PRAY

Mezuzah Doctor 11365-MGMD
Moshe Gantz
(Halacha requires you to check your mezuzot every 3 1/2 years.)

Rokeach 07015-SOUP

Penguin Putnam, Inc. 10014-DREK
Publisher of "Drek! The Real Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You" by Yetta Emmes

Scribner 08873-NASH
Publisher of "Never Nosh a Matzo Ball" by Sharon Kahn. (Remember: a matzo ball a day keeps a heart attack away!)

Adams Media 02322-OYOY
Publisher of "The Portable Jewish Mother - A Hearty Serving of OY Vey! Guilt, Food, And When Are You Giving Me Grandchldren?" by Laurie Rozakis, PH.D.

Pelican Publishing Co., Inc. 70053-COOK
Publisher of "How to Cook Like a Jewish Grandmother" by Marla Brooks. (This cookbook contains no calorie counts, carbohydrate statistics, or other nutritional guidelines. Taste is all that counts.)

Philip L. Sherman 10602-BRIS
Manhattan's leading mohel. The New York Observer called him a "Beeper- Friendly Mohel to the Stars." (His beeper number is printed in gold on the linings of the baby blue yarmulkes he distributes at services.)

Honor Books, Inc. 74115-TUSH
Publisher of "God's Little Instruction Book for Graduates." (Page 19)
"The way to get to the top is to get off your bottom." Eugene Swearingen

Soft Skull Press ll20l-CHEI
Publisher of "Half/Life - Jew-ish Tales from Interfaith Homes" Edited by Laurel Snyder

Marc A. Gellman, 11746-HALB
Rabbi, author, lecturer, and HALF of the God Squad,with Monsignor Tom Hartman.

Pakn Treger 01002-BUKH
Magazine published by the National Yiddish Book Center, Amherst, Mass.

Montessori School for Dogs 99709-HUNT
Fairbanks, Alaska

North Pole, Alaska 99705-KALT
The zip code of Santa

Streit's Family Dinners 10002-ESSN
For Passover

HEEB Magazine 10012-HEEB
You don't have to be Jewish to love HEEB, but it helps!

Bubbe & Zayde's Assisted 92705-HOYZ
Living [in a family setting]

Manischewitz potato 07302-BULBE
roasters (Leave off he "E" for savings!)

Shmuley Boteach
Broadway Books 10036-REBE
(Dr. Ruth with a yarmulke; the Jewish Dr. Phil)

Acme Smoked Salmon 11222-NOVA
New York's original

Klein's Way to Lose Ice 11218-DIET
Cream

Angar's Gefilte Fish 10977-FISH

Nat'l Museum of Racing 12866-FERD
and Hall of Fame

Little Shop of Horas 11791-TANZ

_____
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe would like the USPS to launch a "portable ZIP codes" program so she can keep her current (11791) ZIP code no matter where she moves.

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

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