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POPE BENEDICT SMACKS DOWN ON "SHIKER" DRINKERS, SPEEDING, AND IN-CAR "ZIND"*
*"Zind" is the Yiddish word for sin
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*"Zind" is the Yiddish word for sin
School is out and you're off to the beach.
You're "Noah's Arking"--wearing pants in
which the length is hilariously short. They're more than a couple of inches
above "der knekhl" (the ankle). The metonymic coinage: Noah's Ark
refers to
the great biblical flood, when the world was
covered by "high water." "Noah's Arking" has replaced
the earlier term FLOODING. A related term for the too-short pants
themselves was high water pants. Yes, you're a new driver and you're
listening to NPR's CAR TALK, with Tom and
Ray Magliozzi. Yes, you've memorized all of the
caricatured team members:Car Talk Opera Critic
"
Barbara Seville"Chairman, Federal Lubrication Board
"
Alan Greasepan"Celebrity Consultants
"
Richard Gere-Oil, Mick Jaguar"Chicken Soup Provisioner
"
Kent Hoyt"Fleet Manager
"
Oscar de la Rental"Asst. Transportation Coordinator
"
Orson Buggy" Yes, you know the term SWANGIN'--a verb meaning swerving
a car back and forth by rapidly turning the steering "rod"left and
right repeatedly.
Yes, you converse about SWOOSH--the logo of the Nike Corporation; it resembles a rounded off check-mark.
Yes, you suffer from BAGGRAVATION-- a feeling of annoyance and anger one endures at Kennedy airport when your "bobe" and "zayde's" bags have not arrived at the baggage carousel but everyone else's bags have. Eynikl, do you remember when your parents took you to Disney World in Florida? Your mom would sing "Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill But Not on the Sabbath. (Source: "1,003 Great Things About Being Jewish")
Your dad would discuss the Southern 10 Commandments:
1. Y'all shalt always remember your
manners.
2. Y'all shalt make no fuss over yourself.
3. Y'all shalt not sass your
mother.
4. Y'all shalt always wonder what your
daddy would think.
5. Y'all shalt always talk the way you
grow'ed up.
6. Y'all shalt tell no whoppers unless you
are in a situation where you are
expected to.
7. Y'all shalt demontrate your great faith
BY THE WAY YOU DRIVE.
8. Y'all shalt always clean your plate.
9.
Y'all shalt
hold kinfolk in high regard, regardless of what you really think of
'em.
10. Y'all shalt always remember where you
come from
(Anon.)
Eynikl, did you know that the Pope is offering spiritual advice in the context of our modern preoccupation with "der oytomobile"...and doing so with a sense of humor?
Religious News Service reports that approximately 35 "milyon" people were killed in traffic accidents over the course of the 20th century--often due to "downright stupid ("narish") and arrogant behavior by drivers or pedestrians."
The 36-page document offers its own 10 Commandments for what to do and not to do behind the wheel. Among the don'ts: drinking and driving, speeding, or using a car for personal glory or for sin. Road rage, pedestrian safety, maintenance and flipping people off also are discussed in the document. And do you know what's cool behind the wheel?
"Tfile"--prayer/praying. OK, you probably guessed that! By the way, in the Vatican City, where the Pope and his men roll, there's a speed limit of about 20 miles an hour and there hasn't been a car accident in about l8 months. What are the Pope's 10 Commandments?
1.
You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means
of communion between people and
not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence
will help you deal with unforseen
events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor
in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression
of power and domination, and an
occasion of sin.
6. Charitably CONVINCE THE YOUNG AND
NOT SO YOUNG NOT TO DRIVE WHEN
THEY ARE NOT IN A FITTING CONDITION
TO DO SO.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists
and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so
that they can undergo the liberating
experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more
vulnerable party.
10 Feel responsible toward others.
And, finally, my "eynikl," don't tell me not to worry! It's not only the cost and the upkeep of the car that worries us, but also the possible turnover. I LOVE YOU.
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