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HENNY YOUNGMAN (1906 - 1998)
*The Yiddish word for comedienne is "komiker"
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
Henny Youngman was originally named Henry, and was born of American citizens in Liverpool, England, on 1/12/1906. He grew up in Brooklyn, New York, and had the nickname, "the King of One-Liners."
Shown below is a Yiddish guide to one of the greatest comedians of our "dor" (generation).
"bitl" (contempt)
Youngman said [about living in his
mother-in-law's house], "Let me tell you,
this kind of overfamiliarity will most
definitely breed a strain of contempt."
"dar" (not fat/skinny)
Youngman made fun of Frank Sinatra in
his routine. He said, "Wait till you see the
skinny kid with the Dorsey outfit." "He used
to have the [Tommy] Dorsey outfit." "He used to have a job modeling
for the ham in
bus-stop sandwich ads." "Last night he
climbed the drainpipe to his girl's room--on
the inside."
"dershtekhn" (to stab)
Youngman said, "This club, the Lido Venice,
[located in downtown Paterson, NJ] was so
tough, that the boss used to stab me
good night."
"ekstre mezumen" (extra cash)
As a "yung" adult, Youngman picked up
extra cash by working as a summons server.
He took pride ("kvelled") in serving warrants on hard-to-find
characters.
Once he spent weeks trying to serve a
summons on a man, only to succeed after
noticing that the man had a telephone in
a room located near a "fentster" window).
On a "heys" (hot) day, when the windows
were open--before "luftkilung" (air
conditioning)--Mr. Youngman called the man from a nearby pay phone and
told him,
"I've got some money for you. Can you hold
a minute?" The character held, Mr. Youngman walked across the street,
reached in the open window, and put the summons in the man's vest
pocket.
"fidl" (violin)
On Kate Smith's radio show, Youngman
started playing the violin between jokes.
Since then, the violin was part of his in-
person act as well.
"fliplats" (airport)
"I just got back from a pleasure trip. I
drove my mother-in-law to the airport."
Youngman joke
"ganvenen" (to steal)
Youngman has stolen jokes from Bob Hope,
Milton Berle, Jerry Lewis, George Burns,
and Jackie Gleason.
"gelt" (money)
Youngman's favorite subjects:
"gelt," "gelt," and more "gelt."
"heym" (home)
Hennie and Sadie lived at 735 Ocean Avenue in Brooklyn.
"hoykh" (tall)
Youngman picked up his cup of "kave"
(coffee) and lifted his "moyl" (mouth), but
instead he hit the bottom of his nose.
"Oops," he cried. "I thought I was taller."
"kelner" (waiter)
For about 50 years, Youngman walked into
the Friars Club and said the same thing:
"I want a table near a waiter."
"khasene gehat" (married)
"Every man should be happily married whether he likes it or not."
Note: Youngman was married to Sadie [Cohen]
in Booklyn in 1928.
Youngman joke
"kinder" (children)
Hennie and Sadie had 2 children: Marilyn
and Gary.
"komish" (funny)
When Henny showed his mother his first
paycheck for telling jokes, she said, "Since
when were you funny?"
"kokosnus" (coconut)
"My wife is on a diet of coconuts and
bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but
she can climb a tree."
Youngman joke
"meshuge" (crazy)
This segment appeared in one of Youngman's performances: "...People
are
crazy these days! I saw a man lying in the
street. I said, 'Can I help you?' He said,
'No, I just found a parking space and sent
my wife to buy a car.'"
"meynung" (opinion)
Milton Berle said of Youngman, "Henny is
one of the great comedians of our
generation. This is not only my opinion--
it's Henny's."
"mies" (ugly)
"Youngman said his doctor just told him he
was dying. Henny asked for a second
("tsveyter") opinion. Okay said his sawbones--You're ugly too."
"moykhl zayn" (to forgive)
Youngman said that his mother-in-law
("shviger") never did forgive him for being
neither Yehudi Menuhin nor Albert Einstein.
She figured her daughter ("tokhter") deserved a husband who was both ("beyde") Yehudi Menuhin and Albert Einstein.
"operatsye" (operation)
Youngman said he had a very fine doctor.
"If you can't afford the operation, he'll
touch up the Xrays."
"otemen" (to breathe)
Youngman was at a booksigning and he was asked, "To what do you attribute
your
longevity?" He said, "Breathing."
"pakhdn" (coward)
"For twenty-five years I wouldn't fly. On
account of my religion. I'm a devout
coward."
Youngman joke
"pirsum" (publicity)
Youngman wrote about Walter Winchell's
column: "There was no better publicity,
no better imprimatur of success than
making Winchell."
"plastik" (plastic)
There was once a little plastic gizmo in the
shape of Youngman's nose. When you
pushed the plastic nose ("shnoz"/"noz"),
the battery-powered device uttered one of
Henny's one-liners.
"pomidor zup" (tomato soup)
Whatever time Hennie came home from a
job, Sadie would make him a bowl of tomato soup and some "laks" (salmon).
"psikhiatrye" (psychiatry)
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist says to the man, "What
do you
do for a living?" The patient says, "I'm an
automobile mechanic ("mekhaniker")."
The psychiatrist says, "Get under the couch.'"
Youngman joke
"shadchen" (matchmaker)
Youngman was a "shadchen." He preferred
Shalom Aleichem's definition: a "dealer in
livestock."
"shatsn" (to estimate)
"My wife was at the beauty shop
("sheynkayt-salon") for two hours, and
that was just for the estimate."
Youngman joke
"shaytl" (wig)
Youngman said that his mama was quite a
clown. She's always on. She's got jokes
like:
"Two elderly women meet, and the first says, 'What did you do to your hair? It looks like a wig?' The second old lady says, 'It is a wig.' So the first says, 'You know, you could never tell.'"
"shukh" (shoe)
Youngman said, "Imedla Marcos was so happy to have been acquitted
that she
immediately flew to Israel to plant a shoe
tree."
Youngman joke
"shvebele" (match--for lighting)
Jackie Vernon once attacked Henny
Youngman's lack of formal education. He
said, "Henny's not too smart. The only
book he ever finished was a book of
matches."
"tsikhtik" (neat)
Youngman says his wife, Sadie, is unbelievably neat. In "der mitn"
(the middle) of the night last week he went to
"di kikh" (the kitchen) for a drink of
water. When he got back, his bed was made.
Youngman joke
"tsoredik" (miserable)
"My wife has an even disposition. Miserable all the time."
Youngman joke
"vits" (joke)
Youngman was the original Dial-a-Joke
comic. The New York Telephone Co.
offered, for the price of one message
("yedie") unit, one minute of taped
one-liners.
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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction? Yiddish
Trivia." To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com
NU, what are you waiting for? Order the book!
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