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VOS ZOL IKH ZAYN?
(What shall I become?)
THE BEST AND WORST JOBS
I recently had the pleasure of seeing Elton
John's "Billy Elliot" in Manhattan. The tickets were a 50th Anniversary
present
from our dear friends, Mat & Barbara Loonin
As I watched the performance, I kept thinking: "Inside every one of us is a special talent waiting to come out. The trick, of course, is finding it."
For those unfamiliar with the B'way show,
it is set against the background of the 1984
Miner's Strike. Billy Elliot is an 11 year old
boy who stumbles out of the boxing ring and onto the ballet floor. He faces
many
trials and tribulations as he strives to
conquer his family's set ways, inner conflict,
and standing on his toes. (filmtwob)
We hear Billy say: "I don't want a childhood. I want to be a ballet dancer"; "Just because I like the ballet doesn't mean I'm a poof, you know."
Billy's dad, says, "All right for your Nana, for girls. No, not for lads, Billy. Lads do football...or boxing...or wrestling Not friggin' ballet."
There's a Yiddish proverb, "Di shveste arbet iz arumgeyn leydik." (The hardest work is to walk around idle.) And, in Yiddish, a"leydikgeyer" is a person with no trade, or means of support.
The newspaper headlines read:
And, accoring to Jonathan D. Glater, "You know things are bad when even lawyers are getting laid off."
Les Krantz, a nonfiction publisher and researcher, came up with a list of the best and worst jobs.
BEST
Accountant ("khezhbn-firer")
Actuary (An actuary is NOT a home for
birds!)
Bank Officer ("bankir")
Computer Systems Analyst
Financial planner
Parole officer (go figure?)
Software engineer
Statistician (Statistics can be used to
support just about
everything--including
statisticians.)
Web site manager
("vebzaytl" manager)
WORST
Bouncer
Professionally trained and licensed bouncers or guards are supposed to use
diplomacy first to diffuse a situation and
convince an unruly patron to either behave
or leave on his own accord. Most legitimately-run businesses will immediately
fire a bouncer or a security
guard if there's any hit of him haaving used
excessive force.
Yes, there are job openings for Bar Mitzvah bouncers! Evan Wofsy a middle-school teacher from Livingston, NJ, doubles on weekends as the Bar Mitzvah Bouncer at fancy affairs. This service provides personal educators whose mission is to ensure a secure and orderly environment that does not compromise the celebration facility or interfere with adult enjoyment. Wofsy, and his staff, are known as "tamers of 13-year-olds."
Construction Worker (Laborer)
Ben Gurion, the first Prime Minister of Israel, said, "We don't consider
manual
work as a curse, or a bitter necessity, not
even as a means of living We consider it
as a high human function, as the basis of
human life, the most dignified thing in the
life of the human being, and which ought
to be free, creative. Man ought to be proud
of it.
Jackie Mason ("The World According to
Me!") wrote, "You don't know one Jew
anywhere who can do anything with his
hands. It's because of this simple fact: that
Jews were raised never to do anything with
their hands and to this day they can't do
nothing. That's right--if a Jewish car breaks
down, it's all over. There's nothing they can
do...Takes a Jew three hours to open a
hood and when he finally opens it up:"Wow, is it busy here!" (And
when he finally makes a move, his wife says, "Watch
out, you'll hurt yourself!")
And Andy Rooney ("Out of My Mind") wrote, "One of the things I wish we'd get over is the idea that someone who works with his hands and does what is known as manual labor cannot possibly have a good education. There has always been a vague stigma attacked to those who work with their hands."
Convenience Store Operators
This is a job where your life could be lost
over a few dollars in the til. Some mom and
pop businesses are family run. Others are
large 24 hour conglomerate stores. Despite
closed circuit cameras and even an occasional gun hidden under the counter,
many employees are shot even before a
demand of money is made.
Cowboy (Get a copy of "I'm A Yiddish
Cowboy - Tough Guy Levi," 1908,
Al Piantadosi and Halsey K. Mohr,
Words by Edgar Leslie) and
Yonkle the Cow Boy Jew, 1907,
Harry I. Robinson, Words by Will
J. Harris)...and enjoy!
Dancer
Fisherman
According to Kerry Milton, "Statistically, fishing is the most
dangerous job in the country,
with a fatality rate some 30 times
higher than average. Crab fishing
is one of the worst jobs around...
The short fishing season for
crab--and the high potential
payoff--means the pace onboard
a crabbing vessel is grueling
Garbage Collector
Hazmat divers
Rita Delfiner (New York Post) says that the
top-ranked "worst job" is done by Hazmat
divers, who swim "into clouds of waste,
inside nuclear reactors and through toxic
spills."
Iron Worker
Lumberjack
Roofer
Taxidriver
A 1996 survey by the National Institute of
Occupational Safety and Health found that
the job in which you are most likely to be
slain in America is "taksi" driver. Deputies
and police officers take up the second-
and third- deadliest spots. Number 4 is a "gazolin" (gas station)
worker.
Most drivers have to put in long hours behind the wheel to make a living. They deal with traffic jams and passengers that don't tip. Some passengers are actually out to rob you and will kill you in a heartbeat. That's why some cabbies will not pick up certain fares, which, of course, leads to more controversy.
Telemarketers
They call us during "mitog" (dinner), in the
middle of our favorite movie, or right when
you finally get the "beybi" to sleep. They
are prescripted, auto call generated denizens of call centers. They're calling
to
sell us a "zhurnal" (magazine), "strakhirung"
(insurance), or get us to change our long
distance service. Most of these people are
hard working "yung" people that really
are paying their way through "di universitet" (college) or older
people in between "real jobs" trying to keep up with
their mortgage payments. They are
practically tied to a phone by a headset and breaks and lunches are tightly
monitored.
Trucker
Jackie Mason says, "...in the gentile middle-class family they're happy
if their son drives
a truck. They're thrilled if he drives a truck.
'Thank God he has an honest job!" They
even walk around with pictures. (You
wanna see my son's truck? You ever see a
truck like this? This is nothing...")
Did you ever see what happens if a Jew has a son who drives a truck? He's so embarrassed, he's hiding in Philadelphia. If you know any Jew, anyplace in the world, whose son drives a truck, say this: "Does your son drive a truck?" "Drive? I wouldn't say he drives. He sits in the truck, he doesn't drive it. I wouldn't say he drives it. How would it look, a truck is moving, there's nobody there? So in case it gets out of control, he controls it. He's not driving--he's controlling it...That's it! He a controller in the trucking business!"
_______________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe says that she has
had the two BEST jobs in America: teacher
and free-lance writer.
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