A WEDDING MEAL FOR THE "OREM"*
*The word for poor/needy in Yiddish is "orem." And, the Yiddish word for wedding is "khasene."
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
It's wedding "sezon" (season). It is estimated that Chelsea Clinton's wedding to Marc Mezvinsiy cost between $3 - 5 million. They spent $15K for high-class toilets; $11,000 for the cake, and $500,000 to $600,000 for flowers. The Clinton's never asked, "Vifil kost dos?" (How much does it cost?)
On Nov. 26, our middle "zun," Jonathan, is getting married to a lovely woman named Cynthia.
As they make their last minute plans, I
keep thinking of an article by Marianne M.
Jennings ("Insight," Apr. 29, 2002): She
writes, "Young lovers wherever you are:
Have smaller weddings and invite people
who know you or your family well enough
to pick up the phone to find out which Rival crock pot you prefer. Don't invite more people than you can thank...Ceremonies are not about location,
location, location...No skydiving, scuba-
diving, or mountain-climbing weddings...
Don't demand travel from guests. No Tom
Hanks' 'Castaway' Islands."
And then there's those wedding Haikus--
Three Short Lines for Your Two Important
Words" by Eugene Olson:
Hippie sis requests Get my cell, stat! |
I have a favorite wedding story. It's titled,
"A Meal for the Poor" by Mordecai Spector.
(Source: "A Treasury of Yiddish Stories," Edited by Irving Howe and Eliezer Greenberg, Copyright 1953)
It begins, "I was invited to a wedding....Not
to a wedding, you understand, where one
eats according to a printed timetable--
Fish a la Prince So-and-So, Bouillion La
Falutin, Meat Diplomatique, Salad Wilted-
green, Dessert Fifi, Wine Antediluvian--
that is to say, served in bottles plentifully
smeared with last year's mud!"
No, the author was invited to an old-fashioned wedding, where "laytish"
(respectable) Jewish men and women, are
dressed in the same holiday "kleyden"
(attire) they wear for attending synagogue
every Sabbath. This wedding has a
"smorgasbord" filled with home-made
honeycake," ("hiniglekekh"), strudel, gefilte fish, "varem" (warm) fresh rolls, stuffed spring chicken, and "vayn" (wine) out of large, immaculate "vays" (white) jugs.
This was a wedding where "der gastgeber" (the host) served a free meal to the poor.
The story continues:
"The host, Reb Yitzchok Berkover, had
provided a free meal for the poor at the
marriage of each of his children. And now it was the turn of his youngest daughter,
his favorite child, and he had invited all the
poor folk from the neighboring town of
Lipowitz to the village in which he had
lived all of his life."
Well, two o'clock arrived and there were no signs of the poor. "Vos tut zich?" (What's going on?) The servant said that they didn't want to come unless each one was promised a ruble. Apparently there had already been to one wedding in Lipowitz that day, complete with a free meal for the poor. So, they're "ful' (full). If "yeder eyner" (each one) was not given a ruble they would not come.
People roared with "gelekhter" (laughter) at this bizarre uprising; Yitzchok went into a rage. "They won't take any less?" he screamed at the messenger."
The story continues:
"Who ever heard of such a thing? Those
ragamuffins are going to dictate what I
should do? Bargain with me? Just because
I want them to have a good free meal and a
little donation besides. I must give each
one precisely a ruble, they say! If I gave them a quarter of a ruble each, they couldn't afford to take it, of course! Their
overhead is too high. The nerve of the
beggars! I'll get along without them, they'll
see...Fiddler strike up the tune!"
Well, "teykef" (immediately) Reb Yitzchok changed his mind. He said to wait a while, and he questioned what he had done to deserve such a "goyrl (fate). He asked why he shouldn't have the pleasure of giving a "umzist" (FREE) meal to the poor at the wedding of his "yingst" (youngest) child. He was willing to give them "helft" (half) a ruble. He couldn't believe that they would haggle ("dingen zikh") with him.
The story continues when the beggars of Lipowitz were again approached: "Do you think that just because we're poor they can do as they like with us?" cried one of the rebels perched on top of a wheel; he was completely blind in one eye, and had a rag tied around his jaw as if to keep his teeth from falling out. "Nobody can force us to go. Even the chief of police and the governor general himself can't do anyhing to us. A ruble each or we don't go!"
"All their lives they had been condemned to silence, forced to swallow with their spittle every insult anyone cared to offer them, anyone who had given them a kopeck or thrown them a crust of dry bread or a gnawed bone. Now for the first time they were tasting the same pleasure as the well-to-do. For the first time these beggars felt that the well-fed people needed them, and they were determined to gain their point....For the first time and perhaps the last, they had spoken out in loud voices and succeeded in getting their way. They had done exactly as they wanted."
Another "sholiakh" (messenger) from Reb Yitzchok came with word for the poor saying that they should set out at once....and each WOULD receive his ruble.
The beggars attended the wedding. Reb Yitzchok was wished a long life, happiness from his children, and even greater wealth. The poor danced around in a great ring and the Reb embraced them. He began to "haldzn" (to hug) the poor, each in turn.
The story ends:
"Brothers!" he [Reb. Yitzchok] cried out to
them, dancing. 'We must be merry! Let us
be merry as only Jews know how to be merry! Fiddlers! Play something a little
faster, louder, livelier, stronger!'
That is how a Jew is happy.
That is how a real Jewish wedding ought
to be.
The poor, as well as the rest of the wedding guests, clapped their hands in time to the music.
In short, as I have already said, dear reader,
I've been to a Jewish wedding."
---------------------------------------------
Marjorie, and her husband, Howard, wish
Cynthia and Jonathan a "mazl-tov" on their
forthcoming wedding.
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