  
|
"VER VOLT DOS GEGLAIBT?"
(Who would have believed it?)
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
|
|
The headlines read:
MARRIAGE MEETS MACABRE: FUNERAL
HOMES DOUBLING AS WEDDING VENUES
FUNERAL HOMES: NEW PARTY SITE
(AARP Magazine, January-February 2012)
Couples are getting married with creativity today. They're opting for something beyond traditional synagogue/church weddings. Weddings are being held at private islands, aboard a ship, in a medieval castle, on the top of a mountain, at Disneyworld, and on "di plazhe" (the beach) in California, with the waves nearby and the "zamd" (sand) in your toes.
How about a wedding at a funeral home? Personally, it sends shivers down my "ruknbeyn" (spine). The idea seems creepy! But, according to USA Today, "a lot of brides and grooms-to-be don't seem to mind." One bride, Paulita Flores, was married in the Center at Washington Park East Cemetery. She thought it was the perfect place: "It was breathtaking, so it (the funeral home aspect) didn't cross my mind again."
USA points out that beginning a marriage in the same setting where others are mourned isn't really much different from getting married in a church, where ceremonies of all types take place.
The January-February 2012 issue of AARP Magazine had a piece by Cathie Gandel that stated that some people are choosing a mortuary for a wedding, graduation or birthday party. The multi-use trend is a "win-win" for the funeral home. In 2007, hosting non-funeral events was practically unheard-of. F-a-s-t forward to 2010, and funeral homes are holding major life events.
On April 2, 2006, The New York Times Op-Ed contributor, Theodore Lee Jr., wrote: "Back in my father's day, people looked to the funeral home for many things. I remember my father would let young couples who didn't have a lot of money, get married in the funeral home, (Either they used the chapel or they'd get married upstairs in the living room). "You know those couples were so in love, they'd think nothing of getting married in a funeral home."
What do our rabbis think of Jewish couples tying the knot in a funeral home?
Rabbi Eliezer Zalmanov wrote in an an e-mail:
"As long as there are no corpses in the building at the time, it shouldn't be a problem. If there are corpses, however, then it can be complicated. "Ask the Rabbi" @ Chabad.org
Marjorie Wolfe e-mailed AskThe Rabbi.Org this question:
The Jan.-Feb. issue of AARP magazine states that some couples--for financial reasons-- are choosing to be married at a funeral home. This is a "win-win" situation for the funeral home. Now they can hold birthday parties, graduation parties, and weddings in addition to funerals. What does Jewish law say about holding a wedding at a funeral home? Has it ever been done? Wouldn't it be better for a synagogue to use part of their funds to help a Jewish couple get married at their synagogue rather than at a funeral home?
The reply:
Certainly within Judaism such a thing would not be acceptable. Whilst it is true that King Solomon writes that it is better to go to a funeral than to a wedding. he certainly does not mean to go to a wedding in a funeral home! King Solomin is teaching us that a funeral home is a place where the end of life is contemplated and one must behave with certain sense of decorum when there.
A wedding hall is something else all together. I would be absolutely amazed if this was a fad that had reached the (Orthodox) Jewish world but if it has you would be absolutely correct - Synagogues should reduce the costs of their wedding packages to allow them to be attractive to all budgets.
Best regards,
Rabbi Reuven Lauffer
asktherabbi.org
----------------------------------------
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe was married in a
very traditional ceremony at the Belle
Harbor Jewish Center, Belle Harbor, N. Y.
Rabbis Budin and [Eugene] Cohen performed the ceremony in 1958.
She and Howard are the proud parents of
three sons and five grandchildren.
| A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M |
| N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | Y | Z |
| Yiddish
Stuff Jewish Humor Schmooze News More Majorie Wolfe |
Principle Jewish Stories All Things Jewish Jewish Communities of the World |