A WAR WITH "DI TSUNG"*

by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

A woman bought eggs and butter from a farmer who had a fine reputation not only for the quality of his products, but also for his promptness of delivery. Then one day, when she was expecting guests, he failed to come. On the next delivery, she spoke harshly to him. At the end of her tirade he said quietly, "I'm sorry if I caused you any inconvenience, but I had the misfortune ("umglick") of buryng my mother yesterday.

"Ashamed, the woman determined never to speak harshly to anyone again until she fully understood the cause of the delay.In 1938 we had "The War of the Worlds"; in 2006, we've got "The War of the Words." I'm referring to the "war" between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie ("The View") had some fierce words for him, calling him a "snake-oil" salesman ("farkoyfer").Trump fired back, calling her a "woman out of control" and saying he planned to sue. Rosie made some incorrect ("nit-rikhtik") statements regarding Trump's fiancial well-being. (In 2006, a libel suit was filed against biographer Tim O'Brien for claiming Trump was only worth $150 million.)As you know, Trump is "ongeshtopt mit gelt" (filthy rich). "Er ken dikn tsen mol koyfn un farkoyfn." (He's a very wealthy man; he can buy and sell you ten times over.) He's presently building a $40 million project on the site of the old Boardwalk Restaurant in Jones Beach State Park, New York. He's also constructing the tallest building in Ramat Gan, Israel--Trump Plaza Tower.Trump said, "Rosie's a loser. A real loser. I look forward to taking lots of money from my nice fat ("zaftik") little Rosie.""Vos tut zikh?" (What is going on?) "The Donald" announced that he would NOT fire Miss USA, Tara Conner. Donald said, " I've always been a believer in second chances. Tara is a good person. Tara is going to be given a second chance."In Yiddish, we call it a second "gelegnhayt" (a second opportunity).Conner will go to rehab but keep her crown. There are allegtions of drug and alcohol abuse. (She failed a drug test for cocaine.) Trump showed "rachmanes"-- compassion.The verbal fighting continued. Trump chastised Rosie about her failed "zhurnal" (newspaper) and failed talk show. Rosie said, "(He) left his first wife--had an affair, left his second wife, had an affair, but he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America." His wives--Ivana, Marla Maples, and Melania--may have changed, but his drive and success stayed the same.Donald called Rosie disgusting ("khaloshesdik") both inside and out. He called her a slob ("shlulmp"), who talks like a truck driver. Donald said she got thrown off "televisye" and "she's basically a disaster."Is there a solution to this "war of words"? Rabbi Anchelle Perl, Director of Chabad of Mineola, New York, thinks so. He has invited billionaire Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell to his office on Long Island to help make peace. As Rabbi Perl says, "They are currently locked in one of America's biggest public slanging matches."

Stay tuned for further details.

__________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe agrees with Josh Billings: "The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust."

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:

"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!