A POPULAR "VORT" (WORD):
"UNFRIEND"
by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

Growing up in a traditional Jewish home, I was taught several expressions about enemies and friends.  The Yiddish word for friend is "fraynd" and "chaver" is a close friend.  A good friend is "a guter fraynd" and a bad friend is "a shlekhter fraynd."

My mother (z"l) never heard of the texty abbreviation/acronym, "BFF."  This simply stands for best friend forever.  A BFF is someone who has been there for you at all times and will listen to whatever you have to say.  They will call you just to see how you are, but that's if they're not with you at the moment.  Usually, a BFF is someone you've known most of your life and have been through a lot with them.  I am pleased to have several BFFs:  Paula, Bonnie, Anne, Elaine, Marlene, Ann J.,  Shirley,  and Kathy.

My mother taught me to say:

"Beser tsen gute fraynd eyder eyn soyne." (Better ten good friends than one enemy.)

"Az du vest zikh khavern mit a ganef vestu aleyn vern a ganef." (If you make friends with a thief, you'll become a thief yourself.)

"Naye fraynd bakum, alte nit farges." (Acquire new friends [but] don't forget the old ones.)

"Beser a bis fun a fraynd eyder a kush fun a faynd." (Better a bite from a friend than a kiss from a foe.)

"In shpigel zet itlecher zein besten friend." (In the mirror, everybody sees his best friend.)

The New Oxford American Dictionary has chosen "unfriend"--to remove someone as a friend on a social network site like Facebook--as the 2009 Word of the Year. Finalists included net-book (a small laptop) and "sexting" (the sending of sexually explicit texts and pictures by cell phone.)

"Unfriend" is the opposite of befriending someone.  When you unfriend someone, this does not mean that they have become your enemy ("soyne").  You are just no longer their friend and wish to distance yourself from them until you befriend them again.

Compulsive people prune their friend list periodically, removing people that they no longer have contact with.

Amy Ferris ("Marrying George Clooney - Confessions from a Midlife Crisis") has been connecting with friends on Facebook...and just as quickly disconnecting.  She writes,

"It is 2:45 in the morning, and I am reading and answering emails.  Then, the sudden sound effect of incoming emails:  Gardens Alive, The Vitamin Shoppe, SkinID, and then one from a newfound friend on Facebook. Actually, not from a new friend herself but from the entire Facebook team alerting me that her birthday is coming up in seven days and would I like to send her a birthday card-slash-greeting..."

She continues, "This need to socialize all began in a lonely, dark (middle of the) night.  I was online.  Googling, checking emails, trying to figure out if I wanted to buy a pair of Frye boots at Zappos, because they have a great return policy, and I thought, gee wouldn't it be nice to have some friends to "talk" to at 3 or 4 in the morning.  I was feeling 'disconnected, alone in the world, a general low-grade malaise,' and so I registered with Facebook and Plaxo and LinkedIn and all those other social netowork places.

And then in the morning, after a few hours of sleep, I felt less needy.

And so, because of that one lonely night, I now have more friends and coworkers and acquaintances and high school classmates and old boyfriends than I ever had in "real" life.  And of course, just like life, you get a person who thinks they know you, and they write on your wall:

HI, AMY, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, DIDN'T WE HAVE FUN?

And, you wonder, fun?  Was I on drugs?  Did I really know this person?  Did we work together?....."

--------------------------------------------
Marjorie Wolfe agrees with Sir Arthur Helps:  "A friend is one who does not laugh when you are in a ridiculous position."

Note:  "Marrying George Clooney - Confessions from a Midlife Crisis" by Amy Ferris is available from Seal Press.
Don't miss Chapter Twelve - TV Mogul Time.  Ms. Ferris provides her readers with a sampling of make-believe Emmy-worthy shows, which include an animated sitcom:  ANIMALS IN GROUP THERAPY.  The pilot episode is called,  "Of Mice and Mensches."

home

Search for Stories Beginning with the Letter

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

Y

Z

___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:

"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!