In the Feb. 2012 issue of Esquire magazine, Ross McCammon provides a one-page reference of useful equivalents.
Ex.
24 chicken wings = 1 chicken
kid = $227,000
Shown below is a not-so-serious list of additional useful equivalents:
aBRIEvate = To slice cheese at Zabar's
Bar Mitzvah = Drinks for everybody!
B-a-r-k Mitzvah = Muzzle-tov!
"bagelicious" - Attractive or voluptuous young Jewish woman (Lenore Skenazy)
"baleboss" = the man of the house
"batamt" = delicious. Think Ebinger's blackout cake, Halvah, and Rugelach
"bracha" = When you wear a new Manolos scored from a thrift shop
(second definition)
When Seinfeld snagged the last marble
rye from that old lady at Schnitzer's.
(Source: "Cool Jew--Ultimate Guide for
Every Member of the Tribe" by Lisa
Alcalay Klug)
BFF = Best "fraynd oyf eybik"
brisket = a Rabbi's toolbox (Milton Berle)
"Bubbegum" = Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children
"bubula" = Grandma loves you...Bubula...Tsatkela...Tushy face...Shana madala...Oy a gezunt in kopf...Momala...Mine eininkel...The handsomest boy in the world...My little princess...Come give grandma a big kiss... Such a genius... (Source: "French for Mrs. Katz" by Anna Sequoia and Louise Sarezky)
Chaim Yonkel = Any Tom, Dick or Harry (or) A mister nobody. His favorite color is beige. (Marnie Winston-Macauley)
Chanukkah = Khanike
chicken soup = Jewish penicillin
"Chutzpapa" = A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can channge the baby's diaper.
Condolence Catering and Coordinated Shiva Service department = Ben's Deli
couture = 80-year-old Jewish women
walking around with torn jeans on Fifth
Avenue...and they call it couture.
(Jackie Mason)
davenport = liturgical wine from Manischewitz (Joel Sitrin)
Der Bay = monthly publication by Philip "Fishl" Kutner
debris = leftover at circumcision (Source: NYMagazine, Comp. #950)
"Disoriyenta" = When Aunt Linda gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.
dreidel = Mazel top (Jessica Allen)
"dreck" = Lady Gaga (according to Louis Peitzman, San Francisco Chronicle)
"dreckuisite" = unpleasant occurrences that come with a job (the opposite of perquisite). (coined by Bruce Evans)
"enschultig meir" = "Well excuuuuuuse ME! I didn't know you could afford a Manolo Blahnik!"
Eastern Parkway = Brooklyn's rival street to the Champs Elysees. (Alfred Weinstein, "Zayda")
"Eau de Zadie" = Companion cologne [from Calvin Klein] to go with "Bubbie." ["Bubbie" contains a subtle blend of Ben Gay and meat balls]. In the development stage, "Eau de Zadie" will probably include whiskey, herring, and shoe polish. Rumor has it that Chanel will soon be launching their own product, named "Aunt Frieda." Each bottle of perfume will come with a five dollar bill and a note attached which will read, "Use the perfume in good health, and don't spend my gift all in one place, sweethert." (Kevin Ray, Jewlarious Funny Stuff)
faction = true stories; no "bobe meise"/ "bobbeh meisseh"(old wives' tale)
falafal = having had enough Christmas cheer (Cathi Casper)
"fershtay?" = capeesh?
gastronomic = Pastrami sandwich at Katz's
"gelt" = Jewish dough
"glatt traif" = ham and cheese on matzo
God Squad = Rabbi Marc Gellman
"gonif"/"shvindler" = Bernie Madoff Note: a "mini-Madoff" is a person who perpetuates a ponzi scheme smaller than Bernie Madoff.
Hans Jewish Andersen = author of "The Emperor's New Nose" (Duke Sperling)
Haul My Kinder = Bus service to weight- reduction camp in the Catskills
"hays," "hays," "hays" = Menopause
Remember when Archie Bunker ("All in the
Family") told Edith to see a "groinocologist"
about her "mental pause"?
Hebrew = an especially masculine cup of coffee
HEEB = irreverent Jewish culture magazine
IBS = Isaac Bashevis Singer, not Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Investigate Bible Study
JDate = "Chai Expectations"
JUPS = Jewish Urban Professional Singles
"Kent Hoyt" = Chicken soup provisioner on radio program, "Car Talk"
"kind-ophiter" = male nanny (think: "Mr. Belvedere")
Kosher Sex = Rabbi Shmuley Boteach
"klotz kashe" = {foolish question] When you swear on the Bible in Judge Judy's court, does it really count?
Lox Stock in Barrels = Zabar's remainders; bulk sale (Robert Nagler)
"Manishevtini = Vodka Martini with a splash of Manischewitz Kosher wine
Masonism = Perfectly timed, deftly delivered. Very Jewish.
Matisyahu = world's most famous Hasidic musician/singer--with or without his beard!
matri-money = Dowry (Sam Levenson)
Mocha Meshugass = the opening of a new Starbucks in Brooklyn
"nebbish" = Woody Allen
Nevele = [hotel] number 11 spelled backward
"Noah Veb Zaytl" - composer of first Yiddish Internet dictionary
One part lasagna, one part Kreplach, and two parts Prozac = show, "My mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish and I'm in Therapy"
Oscar Mayer Lansky = manufacturer with links to organized crime (Steven Z. Mostofsky)
"oy" = "yo" backwards...and a reaction to the fact that Anthony Weiner, 47, is planning a comback
"oyster" = The kvetchman, whine meister, gripe atollah (Peaches Clar)
"plotz" = to sicken after seeing who has been chosen to star as Christian Grey in the forthcoming movie, "Fifty Shades of Grey"
Plotz, Barry L. = staff mortician on radio show, "Car Talk"
"richtikeh" = real, proper, legal. "Me? Wear cubic zirconia? This bracelet is the 'richtikeh' thing!"
"shivah" = deli (according to entertainer, Bob Saget)
"shpilkes" = attention deficit disorder
"shtick" = Jack Benny's being 39...and cheap
"shtummie" = Someone stupid enough to think that Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol..
"shtup"/"shtupah" = Grandma Gottlieb said, "No Huppah, no shtupah."
"shvigger" = mother-in-law. Think Doris Roberts (AKA "Marie Barone). She knows that if it's four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, she'll find her husband, Frank, (played by the late Peter Boyle) parked in front of the TV watching the game. From the kitchen, where she's fixing the ziti that he'll be craving in about 15 minutes, she can yell to her husband (without walking into the living room to verify that it's true): "Frank, stop scratching yourself and wash up. The ziti's almost ready."
"shvimen" = Old timers who stand by the knee-deep ocean in Rockaway Beach and do the m'chia stroke. Every time a wave comes, they dip and kvell, "Oy, a m'chia!" (or "mekhaye")
"shtupvegl" = pushcart
"S. S. Mayn Kind" = An imaginary new Israeli vessel
Supersol = the Jewish Waldbaums
"tchatchke"- a trophy wife
"tchotchke chain" = Pier 1
"tchothkeleh" = dumb blonde; think Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Marion Davies, Alice White, Mamie Van Doren, and Goldie Hawn.
Three (3) R's = Ratners, Rascal House, and Reuben's Deli
"tsuris" (major) = All problems, trouble, tsaar (grief), aggravation and "hartsveytik" (heartache). Examples: daughter pregnant with child of an unemployed Catholic bartender, adult son loses job on Wall Street and moves back home...Daughter and baby "Bridget" move back home, too.
"tsukerkrank" - diabetes
"tummler" = em cee. Leo Rosten said, "The ideal tummler is a cross between Milton Berle and Jerry Lewis."
"vebzaytl" = web site
"Yamaha = a religious skullcap for women
"Zabster zalad" = lobster salad (a combination of "lobster" and "Zabar")
"zeyde" = grandchild's press agent
"zamler" = book collector
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