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IT FACES A LAWSUIT FROM TWEETY BIRD
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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The Yiddish word for bird is "foygl."
Birds have been making "di nayes" (the news)! "Finf toyznt" (5,000) red-winged blackbirds fell from "der himl" (the sky) in one night in Arkansas in early January of 2011.
According to Melanie Driscoll, "Five billion birds die in the U. S. every year." Mortality rates for birds are "shver" (difficult) to calculate but we can estimate that pestitudes kill 72 million birds directly. Others ingest poisons. Birds fly into objects: they strike buildings, windows, cars, and high-tension power lines. Domestic and feral cats kill hundreds of millions of birds each year.
In 2006, Rachael Myrow of member station KPCC, reported a piece for NPR titled, "A Kosher Beach That's Not for the Birds." It seems that Orthodox Jews in California's Venice Beach wanted to construct an eruv, an unbroken enclosure in which the observant Jew can carry babies and conduct other approved Sabbath activities as if in the comfort of their "heym" (home).
Rabbi Ben Geiger of the Pacific Jewish Center said that the physical boundries of the eruv are at the 405 freeway, the 10 freeway, and Ballona Creek. (Freeway walls can double as eruv boundaries.) The 4th wall, symbolized by heavy fishing wire ("drot") along the boardwalk, would be strung between lampposts and signpoles from Santa Monica to Marina del Ray.
Problems arose: Marcia Hanscom, vice chair of conservation for the Sierra's Club's Angeles Chapter, was fearful that the string would spoil "der oysblik" (the view) AND SNAG BIRDS. Brown pelicans, green blue herons, and egrets--and about 200 of the endangered terns--winter and nest on this stretch of beach from April to September.
Ms. Hanscom added that they were "even trying to get the power lines taken down near here because we've seen so many rare birds ending up with broken wings or dead on the ground because they haven't been able to get over the power lines."
The synagogue offered to paint the fishing line ocean blue and put up streamers at street-ends to catch the attention of birds passing by. L.A. County Supervisor, Zev Yaroslavsky, relented and now L.A. boasts one of the world's biggest eruvs, covering 80 square miles in midtown.
And then there's the humorous story about David, who received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a "shlekht" (bad) attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, "grob" (rude).
David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything that came to mind. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird; the bird got "erger" (worse). He shook the bird; the bird got madder and ruder.
Finally, he got "fartsveyflt" (desperate) and put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness. I will try to check my behavior..."
David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "MAY I ASK WHAT THE CHICKEN DID?"
The final story is about "Tweety Bird" (AKA "Tweety Pie"), the adorable yellow "Kanarik" (canary)--the fictional charater in the Warner Bros. Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies series of animated cartoons.
Tweetie is a good-natured "kharakhter," happily spending life in his cage or nest. However, when a cat ("kats") or other adversary threatens him, he can become downright malicious and devious. He even kicks his "soyne" (enemy) when he's down. Tweety appears with his owner, Granny, a co-star of of many Sylvester the Cat and Tweety Bird animated shorts throughout the 1950s and '60s. There are toys, stuffed dolls, wristwatches and comic books about "Tweety."
Our young "kinderlekh" walk around saying, "You fwightened me! It's not in my contwact! Hewp, Gwanny! A piece of spaghetti got me! Dis is da city. Ten Towsand Puddy Tats. (A Jack Web impersonation)
John Breneman, writer/editor/satire blogger with the Boston Herald and Humor Gazette told the following wonderful story: Source; John Breneman's Satire Report:
"TWEETY BIRD SUES TWITTER FOR $500 M
Twitter, the phenomenally popular social network service, faces a massive lawsuit that threatens to cripple its ability to transmit millions of insane messages known as "tweets."
13 O'clock news has learned that beloved cartoon icon Tweety Bird is suing Twitter for $500 million.
Attorneys for diminutive yellow bird charge that the Twitter, whose logo is a diminutive blue bird, is guilty of "Toppy-White infwinz-ment" and theft of "inta-wectual pwa-puddy." The suit also requests unspecified damages for "pain and tuffawing!"
A spokesman for Mr. Bird demanded that Twitter cease and desist from using the term "Tweet" in its business practices-- claiming that it is confusing consumers and negatively impacting the Tweety Bird product line of pajamas, lunchboxes, fridge magnets, bobbleheads and speech impediment DVDs.
However, technology analysts say Mr. Bird may simply be hoping to cash in on the meteoric micro-blogging service before its is displaced by the next cyberspace flash-in-the-pan.
Studies show that many users quit twittering after the first 15 - 30 minutes, and that Twitter is already losing ground to such newly emerging rivals as Fritter, DillyDally, TimeSuck and LollyGag.com.
And while supporters point to its vital role in spreading real-time information about the unrest in Iran, critics say the service is used primarIly by time-wasting nerds to share news of their latest bowel-movement, and by pompous celebrities to validate their gargantuan egos.
Other new services vying to become the next big thing include: WhySpace, Babble, iChatter, StackBerry and NoseBook.
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