THE "TSELULARER TELEFON" FAUX-PAS
by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

According to "Meshuggenary - Celebrating the World of Yiddish" by Stevens, Levine, & Steinmetz, there are many up-to-date Yiddish words culled from various contemporary sources.  One such example are the words cell phone.  In Yiddish, it's "der tselularer telefon"; informal, "di tselke."  Binyumen Schaechter does not recommend using "di tselke."

The city of San Diego and Nokia, launched a courtesy campaign.  It consists primarily of identifying specific "Quiet Zones" where cell phones are NOT welcome.  A Cell Phone Courtesy Week was also brought about in part by overwhelming public demand, according to San Diego Mayor, Susan Golding.

I'm not "hakn a tshaynik" (making a long- winded and/or annoying conversation) about cell phones, but 2009 could be labeled the year of cell phone faux-pas.

Over the years things have gotten so bad that at a Wimbledon "tenis" tournament umpires had to repeatedly request that spectators--including celebrities and a box reserved for England's royal family--turn their cell phones and beepers off to avoid distracting the players.

Many restaurants have designated themselves "tselularer telefon"-free zones. There's a sign at the No Sweat Cafe in Helena, Montana that says:

    PLEASE CHECK YOUR GUNS
    AND YOUR PHONES AT THE DOOR.

At Moose's Restaurant in San Francisco's North Beach, each "tish" (table) sports a discreet note card, adorned with a cartoon of the restaurant's antlered mascot, that says, "No Cell Phones, Please."

The N.B.A. instituted a policy regarding Twitter and other social media sites, prohibiting players from using them during games.  The league sent a memo to teams telling them that cellphones and other communication devices could not be used from 5 minutes before game time until after players had finished their responsibilities after games.  That includes half time.
     (Source:  The New York Times, 10/1/09)

There needs to be an "etiket klas" (etiquette class) for "tselularer telefon' use. Imagine the concentration it takes to perform live on a Broadway stage--or give a half-hour sermon on Yom Kippur--and then the disruption caused by a cell phone ringing.

Hugh Jackman was not a "gliklekh" (happy) camper when an audience member's "tselularer telefon" rang twice during his performance of the hit show, "A Steady Rain."  Did Hugh Jackman have a "farkrimt" ponim" (sour face) when he stopped the performance and berated the theatergoer?

Jackman said, "You wanna get that?  You wanna get that?  Grab it, I don't care."  He then paces the stage of the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre, waits about a minute for the ringing to stop, and the play resumes.

"Iberraysn" means "to interrupt."  This interruption opened up a watershed of comments on "televizie" (TV) and blogs.

Harry Connick Jr. did not agree with the way Hugh Jackman handled the situation. (He also encountered the ringing cell phone episodes while performing in the 2006 B'way production of "The Pajama Game.") In an interview on "The View," Connick said, "He's [Jackman] a nice guy, but I wouldn't have done that...It happens, but for me, you just roll with it...What are you going to do?.. Stop and break character?"

Billy Crystal had a "enlekh" (similar) experience when he performed in the Broadway show, "700 Sundays."  Billy related a story where during a particularly poignant part of the show when he was talking about the death of his parents, "tsvelf" (12) cell phones rang.  He found it difficult to get through, but he soldiered on.  At the end of the show, he came out, and made a little speech, saying (paraphrased):  "When you go to the theater, you should turn off your cellphone, leave it at home, OR STICK IT UP YOUR ___`."

On Saturday, Oct. 3, during a matinee performance of "Superior Donuts," starring Michael McKean and Jon Michael Hill, a cell phone went off.  The timing was "groylik" (horrible)!  It happened just when Franco Wicks (Hill) says [about a vandalism], "You'd think Lindbergh's baby got swiped out of your doughnut shop."

"Der sof"--The conclusion:  There's no excuse for having a "tselularer telefon" go off during a Broadway show, movie, sermon, or "kontsert."   Letitia Baldridge would be appalled!

______________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe has a "tselularer telefon" that rings to that Shabbat classic,
"L'cha Dodi."

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