PUTTING THE "THANKS" IN THANKSGIVING

by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

In an article by Bradford R. Pilcher in Atlantic Jewish World, we read the following sign:

-------------------------
"TO BE A JEW
WITHOUT HOLIDAYS IS
OXYMORONIC AT BEST,
MAYBE EVEN BLASPHEMOUS."
--------------------------  

I guess it's time to call the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line for instructions; let's determine if Bernard S. Raskas was correct when he said that "the real test of a good housewife is not what she serves on Thanksgiving Day, but how she handles leftover turkey."  Can this "balabusta" take the leftovers and turn them into appetizing, attractive and tasty dishes?

So. what have we got to be thankful for?
Toy inspectors, kosher food for four-legged "mensches," Dr. Scholl foot pads, G.O.D. (Guaranteed Overnight Delivery), and Neil Simon.  (Simon had the distinction of being the only playwright in history to have four plays running simultaneously on B'way.)

Thanks for dentures that fit, surprise  parties for those celebrating their "plentieth" birthdays, B-A-R-K Mitzvahs when our dog turns 13, old friends who can be trusted with secrets, "spill-resistant" keyboards, Elderhostel courses, Chicken Soup books, sermons with titles like "Getting a Faith-Lift," and children named "Yaacov Yahoo" because their parents met on the Internet.

Let's give thanks for handyman services "specializing in Honey Dos," for the hospice nurses who care for our seriously ill family members, for the husband who says these three beautiful words:

         LET'S EAT OUT.

Thanks for Operation Shoebox--supporting our troops by sending care packages

Thanks for book titles like "From Shmear to Eternity," "Your Second Mattress Will Last Forever," and "If You Really Loved Me, You'd Take Out the Garbage."

Thanks for humorous book dedications that read, "For Rob and Sophie, mainly because I love them more than I can say, but also because someday they'll be paying for my Social Security."  (Dave Barry)

I give thanks for sleep number mattresses, FREE cosmetic-counter makeovers, and the Red Hat Society. 

Thanks for"fridge Googling"--running an Internet search based on some or all of the contents of one's fridge, looking for a recipe based on those contents.

Thanks for a Horoscope that reads:

   Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
   Your main problem?  You're not eating NEARLY enough strudel, rugelach, and halvah.

Thanks for advice from Mel Walsh ("Hot Granny"), who said, "No matter what you do for your grandchildren, you probably will never be as interesting to them as an iPod."

And, finally, thanks for Mom's rule:  "Never ever order the brisket in a Hindu restaurant."

Search for Stories Beginning with the Letter

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

Y

Z

___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:

"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!