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WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Today's test preparers employ methods ranging from standard tutoring to customized learning and even to hypnotism.
According to E. B. Solomont ("What's So Jewish About Test Prep?" The Forward, Feb. 3, 2012), there's even Fresh Prep, a program run by the Urban Arts Partnership that uses rap (Hip-Hop) pedagogy/street culture to tutor students for the N.Y.S. Regents exams.
As I glanced through McGraw Hill's "Conquering LSAT - Logic Games," Third Edition, I came across an interesting problem. (Note: LSAT means (the) Law School Admission Test.)
The problem stated:
Travelers, Anna, Ben, Chris, Dana, Frank, Garry, Hillary and Iris are flying on an airplane to Israel. The airplane seats that the travelers sit in are arranged as follows:
Row 1: 1, 2, 3
Row 2: 4, 5, 6
Row 3: 7, 8, 9
Each row of seats has an aisle at either end.
The seating conditions are governed by the
following conditions:
Iris does not sit in the same row as Anna.
Chris sits in the seat immediately behind
Garry's.
Ben sits in the seat immediately to the
right of Dana's.
Hillary sits immediately to the left of Chris.
Anna sits immediately in front of Dana.
MY QUESTION: What can be conclude from the above-mentioned facts IF the plane was El Al and it was headed to Ben Gurion Int'l Airport? Please use a sense of humor when answering this question.
1. On El Al Airlines, they have two stewardesses. One passes out [kosher] food and the other says [to Iris], "Eat, Eat. Look how thin you look!"
2. Chris leans over to Garry and says, "The Lord must have loved airline fares. He made so many of them."
3. When Anna and Hillary complain to the stewardess about lost luggage on their previous trip, they notice that she's wearing their clothing.
4. Hillary tells Chris: "This is a no-frills airline. Before the flight, the captain had the "chutzpah" to ask the passengers to chip in for gas!"
5. Ben says to Dana, "All the airlines--even El Al--are cutting back. One no-frills airline has eliminated movies. Passengers just pass around pictures of "der kinder" (the children), "di zeyde-bobe" (grandparents) and the family "hunt" (dog).
6. Iris walks over to Anna and says "Airlines are mean. They send your "bagazh" (luggage) to places you can't afford to go."
7. Ben reminds Dana that on a recent flight, 3 engines went out. Wearing a parachute, "der pilot" appeared in front of the passengers and announced, 'We've got a lot of problems, but 'deigeh nisht!' (don't worry!)--I'm going for help."
8. Ben sits in the seat immediately to the right of Dana.....because he wants to share her home-baked chocolate rugelach.
9. Chris tells Ben the story about what happened last year after a bad landing. An elderly woman, walking with a cane, ask the pilot, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
10. Iris warns her "khaveyrim" (friends) that they must deplane quickly. She says, "The last one off the plane must clean up all the 'shmuts.'"
11. Chris says to Gary, "Let's see if we can identify the two undercover air marshals aboard. I know they're sitting among the passengers, dressed in plain clothing." Gary replies, "Vos iz mit dir?" (What's wrong with you?) "Bistu meshugeh?" (Are you crazy?)
12. Gary shares the following true story:
Two rabbis I know were flying from one
city to another somewhere in America's
'Wild West.' Heavy turbulance caused
one passenger--a first-time flyer--a
great deal of fear and anxiety. Just as
the flight attendant succeeded in
reassuring him that all was normal, it
came time for afternoon prayer. The
rabbis got up, put on their hats and
jackets, and headed towards the back
of the plane. Seeing this, the
frightened passenger became
hysterical, saying, "You see! You see!
Those guys are getting off!"
Source: Ask The Rabbi
13. Anna asks the "oysemahtert" (worn out) stewardess for a description of today's in-flight movie. She replies, "It's the 2008 film, 'Gefilte Fish,' directed by Shelly Kling-Yosef. It's the story of a young woman torn between her pre-nuptial family tradition to kill and prepare gefilte fish versus her sympathy for the live carp swimming in her bathtub." Anna says, "shoyn genug"--that's enough.
14. Garry asks the stewardess if there are
any exercises he can perform without
disturbing neighboring passengers.
The stewardess suggests:
Ankle Twirls:
Lift your feet from the floor. Outline
a circle with your toetips, moving one
foot clockwise and the other counter-
clockwise. Switch directions.
And then there's Neck Swivels,
Forward Bends, Shoulder Rotations,
Knee Lifts......"
"Zi farmacht nit dos moyl" (She doesn't
stop talking!)
Garry looks at her, smiles, and says, "Ich vil essen"--I want to eat.
15.. Iris explains to Chris the meaning of El
Al:
Every Landing/Always Late.
Ben adds:
El Al: Every Landing/A Lottery
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Marjorie Wolfe agrees with Donald A.
Fortune: "Never say Hi, Jack, at an airport."
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