  
|
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
|
|
"Neyen" is the Yiddish word for "to sew." In a Rich Tennant cartoon, a mother says to her "tokhter," "It's a beginner sewing kit I put together for you. Here are scissors, needles, bandages, gauze, antiseptics..."
According to the female members of my synagogue, sewing is trendy "vider" (again). Sewing, once considered a hobby for "alter kockers," is a national trend that's sweeping the county. Perhaps the "televisye" show, "Trading Spaces," which features "yung" couples sprucing up their homes/apartments/condos with yards of "shtof" (fabric) has caused a renewed interest. Or as the horrific news of the tsunami disaster in the Indian Ocean, the Iraq war, and the Sept. 11 attack has made us eager to make beautiful things with our hands. Perhaps I'm taking a walk down memory lane.
My "zeyde," Louis Gottlieb, was a button-hole maker. I remember his foot pivoting up-and-down at incredible speed as he did the family sewing on the foot-pedaled Singer sewing machine.
So, my first project is to make a dummy (Dress Form)--size 16--the same size as Kristie Alley's measurements! (Yes, even The New York Times reported that store mannequins are getting bigger than they used to be...and Lane Bryant is still in business!) Yes, at garage sales I could stumble upon a manufactured dummy. They're cheap, but they're almost always a very small size.
So I head for my local rag shop for the necessary supplies and equipment:
Additional instructions say, "Pick a cool day or an air-conditioned place to make your dress form; it can get rather 'varem' (warm) and you'll find yourself 'shvitsn.'"
Do I examine those computer-generated maps by the local TV meterologist? "Nit." I check "Weather Wits," which gives me the following tips for forecasting "di veter":
1. Get a rock from somewhere
and place it somewhere like in your yard.
2. That's all you have to do, and
you're ready for forecasting!!!
3.
If you don't want to use a rock, you can use a horse ("ferd"). Works
just as well.
4. If it's dry--Weather's clear
If it's
wet--It's raining
If it's
white--It's snowing
If it's
gone--Tornado
The instructions continue..."Be sure to use 'der vashtsimer' (bathroom). You need to be able to stand for about 'tsvey' hours without a break."
"Start with your 'victim' wearing well-fitted 'untervesh" (underclothes). The model should put the T-shirt over the 'untervesh." The T-shirt must come down lower than the junction of the legs and torso. Mark on the T-shirt the midpoint of the body, "fornt" (front) and back. Also on the back, run a couple of lines horizontally across the shoulders, upper back and 'talye' (waist.) Start taking pieces of duct tape and cover the body. You do not want to be putting duct tape on 'di hoyt' (skin). Getting it off will not be pleasant. (Imagine the sound of hair being ripped off skin and very loud shouts for help. ("Machen a g'vald.")
Once you've got the entire body (all ___ lbs.) covered, you'll look like you're wearing a really funky body suit...Once you've sealed up the bottom, "mazel-tov." You have a sewing dummy. (Some steps have been omitted.) It's silly looking but very 'nutsik' (useful.) When finished, have the 'wrapee' bend slightly to reveal her waistline, and mark it (and any other points you want identified) with marker or later with colored tape."
So, what lesson did I learn? "Me vert alt vi a ku, un lernt zikh alts tsu." (You get old as a cow, but you can still go on learning.)
| A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M |
| N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | Y | Z |
| Yiddish
Stuff Jewish Humor Schmooze News More Majorie Wolfe |
Principle Jewish Stories All Things Jewish Jewish Communities of the World |