WANTED: JEWISH "MISHPOKHE"* TO SWAP A WIFE
*In Yiddish, the word "mishpokhe" means family
by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
ABC's "Wife Swap," is a reality series that has the mothers in two
families trade places. The program attempts to gauge the
effect of changes on both families and the
lessons learned. It's a "social experiment"
which teaches us the importance of loving
the one you're with--and learning from the
one you least expect to. In one episde, a
mom who runs her home like a boot camp
swaps with a lenient mom who is pampered
and attends clown college.
The program is on the hunt for a Jewish
family. Associate Producer, Michelle Silva,
says, "Out of pure coincidence, many of our
families have come from a Christian background. We are eager to branch
out
and diversify the spectrum."
Silva says that "There are many stereotypes
of a Jewish mother, but the word 'LOVING'
seems to always come up. For this reason,
we want to find a loving, caring, fun and
vibrant Jewish mother ("muter")!"
So, if you're part of a two-parent family,
with at least one child between the ages of
6 and l8, here's your chance to make
$20,000. ABC also pays $l,000 to anyone who refers a family that makes
it on the
show.
The Yiddish word "bagrenetsn" means to
qualify. In my opinion, here are the
qualifications:
Can you relate to this story told by Rebbetzin Feige Twersky?
A Rabbi
is speaking somewhere in the U.S. trying to explain to people howmuch
happiness and meaning Judaismcan add to their lives A woman gets
upand says, "That is very nice for you,Rabbi. You are studying
and teaching.But where is your wife---in the kitchencooking fish?" The
Rabbi answers, "I
amproud to say that my wife is a professional woman, in charge of
a facility for eight children. She is thedirector of the institution
and isresponsible for the children's physical,emotional, and spiritual
needs." Theaudience
applauds, and the woman who asked the question sits down, satisfied.Then
the Rabbi adds with a smile,"Actually, the institution is my home, andthose
eight children are my own."
Are you aware of the fact that the Torahemphasizes
the importance of the home,and that it should not be neglected ormade
secondary?
Has anyone ever described your homeas "heymish"?
Do you know the words
to the song,"My Yiddishe Mama"?
Do you know the meaning of this proverb: "Di
beste gopel iz der mame'shant"? (The best fork is mother's hand.)
Do you agree with Ellen Goodman("Close To Home") when she wrote,"Home
is the only place in society where we now connect, along the ages, likediscs
along the spine of society. Theonly place where we remember thatwe're
all related. And that's not a bad idea to go home to."
Are you aware
that most Jewish couplesmarry under a Chupah, which consistsof a roof with
no walls? The symbolism?The young couple should build a homelike their
patriarch Abraham. It shouldhave no walls and should be built notto
lock people out, but rather to bring people in.
Does a mezuzah hang on doorways?
Are Sabbath candle sticks displayed
andused?
Do you own a Jewish calendar--the onesdistributed by a synagogue,
kosher butcher, or Jewish funeral parlor?
Do you have a drawer which
contains yarmulkes harvested from various celebrations (weddings, Bar/Bat
Mitzvahs, etc.)?
Does your kitchen contain a "Blue Box," a "pushke," a
box for collecting coins for the poor?
Do you have Jewish holy books conspicuously
displayed at home? (There are more books being published today about Judaism
than ever before. Their very presence reminds us of the importance of
Jewish values. We are the People of the Book.) The more books
the better. However, the minimum required includes a Chumash, a
Book of Palms, a Siddur, and books by Elie Wiesel, Philip Roth, Leo Rosten,
Shalom Aleichem, Herman Wouk, and Leon Uris.
Do you have an innate sense
of how long to cook the brisket? (From "1,003 Great Things About Being
Jewish" by Birnbach, Hodgman & Stone)
Do you know that the Yiddish
word "kane" or "conneh" means enema? Joel
Siegel ("Lessons For Dylan") wrote that a "conneh" was my bubbie's cure for
just about everything. And it worked. Once I learned what the
word meant, all she had to do was mention the word conneh. What cough? What
fever? Sure, I'm well enough to go to school." (His family had
a hot water bottle hanging on a nail on their bathroom door, with a rubber
nozzle attached to it. This wasn't a hot water bottle; it was an enema
bag.)
Are you in agreement with Cantor Itzhak Emanuel, who wrote, "In
our modern world, we don't have to stay around our homes anymore. We work.
We travel. We can go around the world in less time than it took Grandma
to make her challah. In California, nobody walks anywhere, except for
planned exercise. Our automobiles carry us wherever we want to go. I
wouldn't dream of walking to the supermarket. How in the world would I
carry all those bags, filled with exotic specialties from every country
imaginable?
But some things never change wherever we lived...Our family is still the most
important thing. We celebrate our holidays in traditional ways. We try
to live our lives with the values we have been taught. And our mezzuzah is still on the front doorpost." (Source: "Empty the Ocean with a Spoon" by Rosalie Sogolow.) Read the book; it's wonderful!
If you've answered "yes" to most of the
above-mentioned questions, you are
qualified to trade places on "Wife Swap."
_______________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe recalls how Billy
Crystal ("900 Sundays") described his home
in Long Beach, New York:
"So many stories in that house...so many
stories. We grew up there. We measured
our heights on the side of the den door in
pencil every six months. We ate great food
there. We laughed there...We made people
laugh there. We were the Nairobi Trio
there. We were Yankees there...We fell in
love there. We bought our own kids there
to get Mom's recipes...We mourned there.
It was our house..So many stores."
___________________________________________ Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction? Yiddish
Trivia." To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com
