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AND OTHER BAD NEWS
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*The Yiddish word for pregnant is "shvanger" or "shvengert"
Lynne, "di muter" of Jamie Lynn Spears, will NOT be sending a "kvell-o-gram" to her friends and family. A "kvell-o-gram" is an announcement of a special event from a parent to anyone who will receive it. The term was found in the book, "The Kreplach Ness Monster--and other phrases that do not appear in The Joys of Yiddish but should." We send such "telegrams" when our chid is accepted at Harvard or when our child receives a perfect score on the SAT.
Yes, Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy could put a budding career at risk. Yes, "zekhtsn" (16) year-old Jamie Lynn, the girl who has charmed my granddughter for the past three years as the star of "Zoey 101," is "shvanger." Lynn's situation is what we Jews call a "shanda" or "shande"--a shame.
The strange part is that Jamie's father, who was furious that his daughter got pregnant, then sold her story to a magazine!
Jamie had a clean image, while her "shvester' (sister), Britney, has a "naughty" reputation.
My granddaughter is too "yung" to remember the song, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage." She's also too "yung" to know that in 1992, Dan Quayle criticized Candice Bergen's TV character, Murphy Brown, for having a baby out of wedlock. Bergen said her family has always come first, and acknowledged that she disapproved of the way her character handled the responsibilities of motherhood.
The comedians are having a wonderful time with the news. Gary Vider wrote, "The big news: Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old sister of Britney Spears and star of Nickelodeon's 'Zoey 101' announced she's pregnant. SpongeBob said, 'Hey, don't look at me'"
Mr. Vider also said, "In a recent interview, Britney Spears's 16-year-old sister announced she's pregnant. After hearing this Britney said: 'Ha! At 16, there is no way she's ready to be a horrible mother."
And when the President of a local Yiddish club announced that Jamie was pregnant, another member added, "I guess her boyfriend was never taught, NO CHUPEH,, NO SHTUPA--no wedding, no bedding."
In my opinion, there's nothing funny about this news. Have babies become the coolest accessories for stars to tote around in TV studios? About 750,000 teens between ages 15 and 19 get pregnant yearly. The Guttmacher report concluded the downturn in pregnant teenage girls was due to increased emphasis on abstinence and changes in contraceptive practices. Didn't Jamie know about the morning-after pill?
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (www.Shmuley.com) writes about Casey Alridge, 19, who has fathered Jamie's baby. The Rabbi asks about protection that prevents pregnancy and protection from the "psychological, emotional and spiritual scarring that early sex engenders."
Rabbi Shmuley discusses the fact that teens are "in an age where young women suffer from pitifully low self-esteem, and in a culture that makes them feel like their looks are always subpar, many young girls will compromise themselves in order to feel loved." "..they were pressured by boyfriends who made them feel that if they didn't put out, they'd be out."
Here in South Florida, we read of high school girls who tell each other that "they can avoid getting pregnant if they don't have sex often." One girl said, "When I got pregnant, I was like, 'What in the world is going on?' This was not supposed to be happening to me."
Some Florida school districts are attempting to broaden what students are taught in public school sex education programs. (Florida has the sixth highest rate of teen pregnancy and the second- highest rate of new HIV cases in the nation.)
I must confess that at some lectures that I give in S. Florida, I've often told my audiences the story about Sam Levenson's mom. I asked them, "How did Mrs. Levenson keep bread from getting stale?" The answer; She had more children! The difference is that she was married.
One website, Birth Choice, suggests that the young, unwed mother-to-be break the news to her parents by writing them a letter and leaving it on the "kikh" (kitchen) table or on their bed. The letter may work well in that it gives the parents a chance to let the news sink in before they react. One sample letter said, in part,
Dear Mom & Dad,
You've always tried your best to raise me right You've made sacrifices so I could play sports, take ballet and drama, qualify for scholarships and go to college. Your plans and goals for me are wonderful, but now something has happened that wasn't in our plans. I'm pregnant.
I don't blame you for being angry. You probably think I am so stupid and ungrateful. I was stupid, and I am so, very, very sorry. But I'm not ungrateful. I appreciate so much everything you do for me......
So, what can we as parents learn from this story? We can follow Jessica Weiner's advice ("A Very Hungry Girl") and begin to talk with our children. Here are four of her tips:
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