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*The Yiddish word for “silver” is “zilber.”
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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In honor of Seinfeld’s “zilber” anniversary, here is a Yiddish guide to Jerry and his TV show:
“gornit” (nothing)
Seinfeld is a show about nothing. However, it was really about a lot of little things:
finding a parking spot, getting movie information over the phone, tipping, puffy
shirts, and whether it’s OK to make a condolence call on a cell phone.
“zup” (soup)
Jerry and George get to the soup stand. George follows the procedure but notices
that he did not get a free bread with his soup order. Jerry tells him to let it go, but
George asks the Soup Nazi for same, and is told he will have to pay $2 for it.
When George objects, claiming that “yeder eyner” (everybody) in front of him got
free bread, he is told that the price of the bread is now “THREE DOLLARS.” When
George continues “to “protestirn” (protest), he quickly has his money returned and
his soup is brusquely taken back, with the catchphrase “NO SOUP FOR YOU.”
In another visit to the “zup” stand, when Sheila will not stop kissing Jerry in the line of customers, the Soup Nazi orders her “aroys” (out) of line and Jerry is forced to “pretendirn” (pretend) he does not know her.
“neet khasene gehat” (single/unmarried)
Harlan Coben says, “Courtesy of Seinfeld reruns, he will always be the single guy
hanging out with his pals Elaine, George and Kramer. (The comic is married to
Jessica Sklar and they have 3 children.)
“geboyrn-tog” (birthday)
“Nobody likes having ‘Happy Birthday’ sung to them.” (Seinfeld quote)
“komish” (funny)
“The motto of our show is ‘No hugging, no learning.’ As an actor (“aktyor”), you can
always hope for growth and depth in your character, but that’s not the concern on
Seinfeld. The concern on Seinfeld is, ‘Is it funny?’ If it’s funny, we do it. We’ll throw
a character’s integrity out the window to achieve funny.” (Jason Alexander)
“turme” (jail)
Millions of people around the country gathered to watch “Seinfeld” get sent up the
river. In the last episode of “Seinfeld,” the New York Four (Jerry, George, Elaine and
Kramer) get sentenced to a year in jail after watching a man get carjacked--and
doing “gornit”/”gornisht”--nothing.
“restoran” (restaurant)
Mendy’s Kosher restaurant on East 34th Street was so packed after the final episode
of “Seinfeld,” that it had to turn away over 100 people trying to make reservations. A
bigger “oylem” (crowd) of “Seinfeld” maniacs gathered at the funnyman’s alma mater,
Queens College, where they chowed down on Junior Mints, signed a good-luck/
“zay(t) gezunt (good-by) card for their famous alum and reverently watched the
irreverent show.
“oyslender” (foreigner)
[on doormen] “They look like all the foreign leaders from Mission: Impossible. With
those faux-military outfits, they look like deposed dictators. They’ve got all the pomp
and none of the circumstance.” (Jerry Seinfeld)
“faygeleh”/”fagela” (gay)
In one episode, Jerry and George were mistaken for gay partners. They gave the
nation the useful all-purpose qualifier: “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
(Bill Carter quote)
“tsuriksien zikh” (retire/stop working)
When Jerry’s parents retired, they moved to the Boca del Vista retirement community
in Florida.
“hor” (hair)
“Your hair freaks out when it wakes up at somebody else’s house. You go in the
bathroom (“vashtsimer”), it’s like, ‘This is not my sink, this is not our brush, this is
not our mirror (“shpigl”)--AAAAH!” (Jerry Seinfeld)
“brem” (eyebrow)
Dating is pressure and tension...Whenever you think about this person [date] in
terms of spending your future with them, you have to magnify every little thing about
them.
The guy will be like, ‘I don’t think her eyebrows are even. I can’t believe it. Her eyebrows are uneven. Could I look at uneven eyebrows for the rest of my life?” (from “Seinlanguage” by Jerry Seinfeld)
“dar” (thin, not fat/skinny)
In one episode, Elaine accuses an upscale clothing store of installing deceptive
“skinny mirrors” in order to make clothing look better on customers. She threatens to
turn in store officials to the “department of whatever” for “false reflecting.”
“kino” (movie theatre)
Cineplex Odeon Regency is the movie theatre in which Newman spies Jerry and
Rachel making out in the balcony during a showing of “Schindler’s List.” Oy, such
a “shanda!”
“gelekher” (laughter)
Jerry puts a Tweety Bird dispenser on Elaine’s “kni” (knee) during a recital, and
she can’t control her hysterical laughter.
“pay” (pie)
“As a comedian, I believe you get less and less funny living in LA...New York is like a
pie in the face every day.” (Jerry Seinfeld)
“khezhbn-firer” (accountant)
In episode 65, Jerry’s accountant, Barry Profit, sniffs suspiciously, so the gang
suspects he has a coke habit. The trio (Newman, Kramer, Jerry) tries to entrap the
the accountant, ABSCAM-style.
“Esn” (eat)
Jerry’s food preferences include Double Crunch cereal, Snapple, bananas, Nathan’s hot dogs, Drake’s Coffee Cake, & black-and-white cookies (“the key to racial harmony”).
“tate-mame” (parents)
In one episode, Jerry’s parent are visiting for a few days en route to Paris. It’s “shlekht”
(bad) timing for Jerry, who hasn’t been with present amour Rachel for so long. It’s
even worse for Elaine, whose new ‘close talker’ boyfriend, Aaron, seem obsessed with
Jerry’s parents. However, it’s great news for Kramer, who partners with Jerry’s dad.
“retsept” (recipe)
Here is the recipe for “Seinfeld” Coffee-Chocolate-Chip Cookies:
1 cup brown sugar
l cup white sugar
8 ozs. unsalted butter (room temperature)
2 eggs
1 tablespoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
12 ozs. mocha chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large bowl, mix butter and sugar by hand. Add
eggs and vanilla. In a separate bowl, mix together all dry ingredients. Slowly stir
dry mixture into butter-sugar mixture. Add mocha, choc. chips. Scoop tablespoon-
sized, ball-shaped cookies onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes.
(makes 3 doz.)
“frage” (question)
Paul Vitello, “Inquiring Minds Wants to Know,” Newsday, April 1998) wrote this
question and answer:
Q. Dear Newsman: I am a very big fan of Jerry Seinfeld. Maybe you can settle a
disagreement I am having with my wife. I say Jerry is the most important cultural figure to emerge from the post-war baby boom generation of Long Island, and she says it is Al D’Amato. Who is right? (Sein-fan)
A. DEAR SEIN: It depends on what you mean by important, by culture, and by
baby boom. Seinfeld’s show, according to Russell Baker of the New York Times, is about never giving up one’s power. In the long run, for better or worse, I say D’Amato--and the accrual of muscle for which he stands--will say more to future generations about these times than Seinfeld will. On the other hand, D’Amato’s an oldish boomer.
“khasene” (wedding)
Jerry says (“SeinLangage”), “I think think the idea behind the tuxedo is the woman’s
point of view that ‘Men are all the same, so might as well dress them that way.’ That’s
why, to me, a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride, and
some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women, because they
know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just
takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.”
“bibliotek” (library)
Episode number 22 aired on Oct. 16, 1991. The synopsis: The library asks Jerry about
a book he checked out in 1971, and never returned. So Jerry looks up an old girlfriend
for his defense against a library cop. The missing book: “Tropic of Cancer” by Henry
Miller.
“vort” (word)
Two words that Jerry and George think might cause “tsemishung” (confusion) among
waiters in Mexican restaurants are seltzer/salsa. (SeinLanguage)
“psak” (verdict)
Maggie Gallagher, New York Post, 5/18/96) summed up the show’s appeal:
“For me, the show’s appeal was not how wacko the characters were, but how like
us they are. The real verdict on their characters is not that they are especially
immoral, but that they are enduringly, lovable adolescent. Like the Toys “R” Us
kid, they don’t wanna grow up.”
“oysloz” (ending)
Susan E. Mathis of Amityville, Long Island, suggests the following Seinfeld ending:
THE OTHER DREAM: “Jerry finds all has been a dream and wakes up to find that he is a two-bit stand-up comic performing weekly at his parents retirement condo in Florida. “ And Gloria Cole of Wantagh, Long Island, suggests: THE SNOWBIRDS. “There should be a flash-forward finale. The characters are pushing 80, still stuck in their self-absorbed ways, living in the same Florida retirement village as Jerry’s parents did.
They even enjoy the early bird dinners!” (Source: Newsday article titled, “Your
Sein-offs.”)
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MARJORIE GOTTLIEB WOLFE’S favorite program: the 1993 episode where Jerry
and Elaine are apprehensive about the duties they must perform at their godchild’s
bris.
Leo Rosten (“Hooray for Yiddish”) tells this joke:
Mr. Morgenstern appraised the swaddled baby: “Krevetz, you have a beautiful boy!”
Frowned Mr. Krevetz, “First, it’s not a boy, it’s a girl. Second, let go of my finger.”
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