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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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My 13-year-old grandson, Scott, is home from his 3-week "sleep-away" camp at the 92nd Street Y in NYC. As Susan Dominus reported in the New York Times, "it is a pre-professional program for teenagers who choose to focus on one of four creative fields: fashion, music, film and culinary arts. Scott majored in culinary arts at Passport NYC. He learned how to make a challah and prepared baba ghanouj and couscous in a synagogue kitchen. The camp is financed, in part, by the Foundation for Jewish Camp.
Other kids are home from Camp Ramah.
They've laundered their Ramah-in-Israel
T-shirts imprinted with "Yachad Be'ramah"
(Together in Ramah), and it's "vakatsye"
(vacation) time with the family.
Grab a #2 pencil and let's see how well you do on this 15-question travel exam. The quiz is similar in format to ABC's, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."
Question 1. (Worth $100)
Who said, "The only thing chicken about
Israel is their soup"?
A) Bob Hope
B) David Ben Gurion
C) Golda Meir
D) Theodor Herzl
Question 2. (Worth $200)
According to Herb Kelleher, "If the Wright
brothers were alive today, Wilbur would
have to fire Orville to reduce costs."
A) True
B) False
C) "Vos makht dos oys"? (What difference
does it make?)
Question 3. (Worth $300)
The Yiddish word meaning to cry is "veyneh." Which feminist
role model
gave this travel advisory: "For travelers who can't get service,
I recommend crying"? (She said it worked for her on her first
trip to the Soviet Union in 1962.)
A) Betty Friedan
B) Bella Abzug
C) Jane Fonda
D) Shana Alexander
Question 4. (Worth $500)
During the 1940s and 1950s virtually every
child saw, "The Seven Wonders of the World" and "The
Butterflies of North
America." How was this possible?
A) The four TV networks--CBS, NBC, ABC,
and Dumont Television--had special
travel programs
B) They owned a View-Master
C) Life "zhurnal" (magazine) devoted two
issues to these topics
D) This material was covered in Dick and
Jane readers
Question 5. (Worth $1,000)
What is John Fountain's rule of Foreign
Travel?
A) "Don't go back. It isn't there anymore."
B) "The softer the currency, the harder the
toilet paper ("tualet-papir")."
C) "Wherever you travel, the weather is
'unusual' for this time of the year."
D) "The worst thing about Europe is that
you can't go out in the middle of the
night to get a Slurpee."
Question 6. (Worth $2,000)
According to Hal Rubenstein and Jim
Mullen's article, "I'm a Travelin' Man,"
A) The 10,000-mile journey starts with a
single vaccination.
B) Travelers should learn to use the Latin
expression, "Aliquem de via consulamus."
(Let's ask directions.)
C) Tourism is "The conscription of transients
and hoboes, who are then ordered to
brandish snap cameras for a half hour
at the Louvre or a week at DIZZYLAND."
D) "As a member of an escorted tour, you
don't even have to know the Matterhorn
Question 7. (Worth $4,000)
The Yiddish word meaning to pack is
"(ayn)pakn." Which author defines "unpack" as
follows:
"What the customs inspector on the little out-of-the-way, undiscovered Caribbean island where your travel agent sends you to on your honeymoon ("kushvokh") will make you do, even though there's not another one until tomorrow and even though there are thirty other people in line who look like extras from a Miami Vice rerun."
A) Paul Reiser
B) Tom Carey
C) Andy Rooney
D) Art Buchwald
Question 8. (Worth $8,000)
Who went around "di velt" (the world) in
72 days in 1890?
A) Gertrude Ederle
B) Anne Tyler ("The Accidental Tourist")
C) Nelly Bly (the pseudonym of a New York
journalist named Elizabeth C. Seaman)
D) Phileas Fogg
Question 9. (Worth $16,000)
A nesomaniac is a person who is mad about
A) islands
B) forests and woods
C) railroads
D) camping out
Question 10. (Worth $32,000)
In package-tour terminology, what is meant
by "Force Majeurs"?
A) Buttons that stay firmly fastened for
years at home will pop off two days
after you leave on your trip.
B) An event or effect that cannot be
reasonably controlled or anticipated by
the operator of the tour.
C) An independent tour that includes a
rental car in the cost.
D) A traveler who asks a Tour Operator to
find a great beach somewhere OUTSIDE
the U. S., like in Hawaii.
Question 11. (Worth $64,000)
Richard A. Moran said, "When going on a
business trip, pack the night before and
remember that
A) the X-ray machine will show what you
have packed
B) business travelers gain weight while on
the road
C) a chocolate on your pillow sometimes
costs you a mint.
D) if you don't like a hotel, leave.
Question 12. (Worth $125,000)
Feature films on airlines were introduced
the same year as touch-tone telephone
dialing. What year was that?
A) 1962
B) 1964
C) 1966
D) 1968
Question 13. (Worth $250,000)
When it looks like Ralph Kramden ("The
Honeymooners") can no longer avoid
admitting to Bill Davis that he's not a big
shot, Norton comes up with a solution:
Tell Bill you can't meet him. You've just
changed jobs and you're captain of a ship,
which is sailing in 20 minutes. What was
the name of the ship?
A) Queen Elizabeth 2
B) Ile de France
C) Strathardle
D) The Love Boat
Question 14. (Worth $500,000)
Who wrote, "Pilots are the good guys. No
one hates a pilot. Pilots are the ones who
know how to do it. They're successful.
They're smart, skillful and daring but
careful. There's a little of Charles Lindbergh and Eddie Rickenbacker
in each of them"?
A) Garrison Keillor
B) Andy Rooney
C) Billy Crystal
D) P. J. O'Rourke
Question 15. (Worth $1 million)
There is the amusing story of the two ladies
who went on a very costly Mediterranean
cruise. Upon their return home, they
gathered their friends about them to tell
all about the trip. In the course of
conversation, one woman quite forgot that
she had been to Rome until her companion
("bagleyter") reminded her with,
A) "Don't you remember, my dear, that's
where we fed the pigeons."
B) "Don't worry, it's a "elter" (senior)
moment."
C) "Makh nit keyn tsimes fun dem."
(Don't make a fuss about it.)
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Answers:
1. A
2. A
3. C
4. B
5. B
6. A "C" was said by R. W. Jackson
7. B
8. C
9. A
10. B
11. A
12. B
13. B
14. B
15. A (Source: "Heart Of Wisdom" by
Bernard S. Raskas
___________________________
When asked, "When is the best time to
visit Israel," Marjorie G. Wolfe answers,
"There is no bad season to visit Israel."
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