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(*big talk, little action)
Not with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has been described as "Dr. Phil with a Yiddish accent." Others refer to him as the Jewish Al Sharpton. Shmuley disagrees. He says, "Al Sharpton is a rabble rouser. He protests race infractions. Where do I run around screaming anti-Semitism? I just don't think in those terms."
The Washington Post "tsaytung"
(newspaper) said of Boteach, "He's Dr. Ruth
with a Yarmulke." Ilana Arazie asks, "Has
Rabbi Shmuley fallen off his 'beema' (Hebrew word for synagogue stage)?"
Lynn Harris says,"Boteach is sort of like Supernanny with a beard."
Shown below are the 5 W's (Who, What, When, When and Why) of Rabbi Boteach:
"nomen" (name)
Rabbi Boteach's name is pronounced"Bo-ta-ach." For many, he's simply
known as "Shmuley."
"mishpokhe" (family)
Shmuley has a wife and "akht" (8)
children.
"heym" (home)
Shmuley, born in Los Angeles, has lived in
Oxford, London, and Miami Beach. He
currently lives with his wife and family
in Englewood, New Jersey.
"shalom" (peace)
The vanity license plate on Shmuley's
trailer reads: SHALOM.
"aparat" (camera) shy
Shmuley is certainly not camera shy. He's
probably one of the most recognizable
rabbi in the world.
"get" (divorce)
Shmuley is the child of divorce. He says
he believes in keeping families intact at
almost any cost ("prayz"). Irene
Schweitzer, a licensed clinical social
worker, says, "Boteach's deep-seated
painful feelings surrounding his own
parents' divorce remain with him--
unprocessed and unconscious..." In 2001,
Shmuley lambasted Rudy Giuliano for
having a messy divorce.
"for gezunterhait" (Travel in good health)
Shmuley drives a specially equipped
Airstream trailer to the homes of families
in crisis. It's known as (The) Heal Mobile.
Bar Mitzvah "droshe" (speech)
Shmuley's son, Mendy had his bar mitzvah
in May of 2006. He said--in part--, "You
now become a man, Mendy, and you have
a choice as to what kind of man you will
be. Small men want to be loved. But big
men are prepared to be hated. Small
Small men tailor their actions to suit the
multitude.
But big men will do the right thing no
matter how much it inflames the masses...
You have made me proud to be your
father. But from today, you become a
man. Be a big man, Mendy. Live for the
big things that electrify the heavens and
cause the earth to quake."
"veynen" (cry/to weep)
According to Joe Eskenazi, Shmuley "can
be unpleasantly intense, and he goes
five-for-five in reducing his counseling
subjects to tears (approaching the
Barbara Walters pantheon. But he does
seem to get through."
"bukh" (book)
Shmuley, a multi-tasker, has written 16
books. In January of 1999, excerpts of his
book titled, 'Kosher Sex" appeared in
Playboy "zhurnal" (magazine). The
L'Chaim society were particularly upset
when he REPORTEDLY received a fee of
$200,000 from Playboy.
Shmuley's book, "Hating Women," shows his concern about society's growing "bitl" (contempt) for women. Examples include the TV shows, "The Bachelor," "For Love or Money," and "Average Joe." He says that during commercial breaks, women are objectified to sell "bir" (beer),"oytomobils" (cars), and every other product under the "zun" (son).
"anives" (humility)
In Shmuley's book, "Dating Secrets of the
Ten Commandments," the dedication
reads, "To Michael [Jackson], who taught
me humility."
Shmuley was once one of Michael Jackson's closest spiritual advisers. In 2004, Shmuley said, "Michael's life is in serious decline even without this indictment. He has not sort of gotten that there has to be major changes."
"bashtetikn" (to acknowledge)
In Shmuley's book, "Kosher Sex," he
acknowledges that his mother was
scandalized by her rabbi-son writing a
book with this title. On the acknowledge-
ments page he writes, "And although by
the book's publication date she [his wife]
will have changed her last name to Smith
and had cosmetic surgery so that none of
her friends recognize her, I do want to
thank my extraordinary wife for all her
devotion and support."
"televisye" (television)
Reality TV star, Shmuley appears in the
program "Shalom in the Home." The TLC
Channel program has an average of a"milyon" (million) viewers. His
goal: to restore peace ("shalom") and tranquility
("zakhtkayt") in the home.
He's not the first rebbe on TV. There is Rabbi Marc Gellman (from "The God Squad"), the rabbi on Sex and the City who converted Charlotte, and the rabbi on Grey's Anatomy, who dealt with the pig-heart-in-a-Jew dilemma.
"haldzn" (to hug)
"kushn" (to kiss)
Shmuley writes, "My daughers and sons,
when they walk into the house, they have
to give me a hug or kiss. I tell them, "I
don't care if the president of the United
States is waiting for you. I will stop
whatever I'm doing and wait for a hug
and kiss."
Msgr. Hartman ("The God Squad") gives Rabbi Marc Gelman a handshake, followed by a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It's a regular ritual, a sign of an abiding friendship which transcends show biz. Hartman adds that there is a planned message in the symbolic kiss and hug on TV. "This is a visual medium. People will react more to our friendship than the concepts we develop."
"L'Chaim"
Shmuley points out that the Jewish toast "L'Chaim" means not "to
life" as it is
commonly translated, but "to lives" in the
plural. "No one could live life by
themselves. We all need someone else.
So there's no point in toasting life,
because life that is not shared is
unlivable."
"hunt" (dog)
Shmuley has a Maltese "hunt" named
Marshmellow, a gift to his kids from
Michael Jackson
"barimtkayt" (celebrity)
Shmuley said, "I find the whole idea of
celebrity distasteful."
"gastgeber" (host)
Shmuley has played host on singles
cruises off the coast of Alaska.
"tsol" (number)
Shmuley said, "I believe we have to make
the world ("di velt") more Jewish. Why is
it accepted that we live in a Christian
world? Because of numbers? That's an
absurd reason."
"basheydnkayt" (modesty)
Shmuley said, "The whole reason you
dress modestly until now is to create the
excitement for when you take it all off.
It safeguards the natural allure and
attraction of the human body."
"ineveynik" (inside)
According to Shmuley, "There's too much
(emphasis) on the external and not
enough on the inside and that is why we
are not building strong relationships."
"vayblekh" (feminine)
Shmuley says, "Men love bringing out
the feminity in a woman."
"betn mekhile" (to apologize)
In "Kosher Sex" we read about the
handling of a difficult patch or argument
in a marriage. Shmuley writes, "Apologize
if need be, even if you're convinced that
you're correct and they're wrong. Love is
far more important than being right.
Lose the argument and win back your
spouse."
"meshuge" (crazy)
In "newsletter@shmuley.com" we read,"How crazy that on Sundays
we take our kids out to shopping malls rather than
rivers, to the multiplex rather than a lake
("ozere"). How tragic that we sit them
down in front of inane video games
rather than take them on a hike. When
we expose our children to concrete, we
bring out their artifice. But when we
expose them to beautiful mountain
("barg") vistas, we bring out their
authenticity."
"umglik" (accident/mishap)
When Pittsburgh Steeler's quarterback,
Ben Roethisberger, suffered a serious
injury ("vund") in a motorcycle accdent,
Shmuley wrote: "How silly that a man of
such promise and such intelligence, who
lead the Steelers to victory in last years'
super bowl, could be so stupid when it
comes to his own safety?"
"elfter" (llth) commandment
According to Benjamin Sosks (Slate.com),
Shmuley told one reporter, his own 11th
commandment is "Thou Shalt do anything
for publicity and recognition."
"konkurs" (contest)
In 1998 Shmuley entered the "Preacher
of the Year Contest," sponsored by the
London Times. He became the first Jew
to reach the final rounds. He took "tsveyter" (second) place. The
next year
he won.
"perfekt" (perfect)
Shmuley believes one should not obsess
over finding the perfect mate because
that partner will in fact become perfect
through the raising of a family, the
establishment of a home ("heym") and the
transformative act of sex ("geshlekht").
"firer" (leader)
When Shmuley was 13, he met Rabbi
Menachem Mendel Schneerson, whom
some considered then to be the Messiah
and still do today, even though he has
passed away. The Rebbe--as Schneerson
was called--bestowed upon Shmuley a
generous blessing and later dispatched
him, at age 22, to Oxford to serve as a
religious emissary. There he founded the
L'Chaim Society.
"group counseling"
Shmuley offers two group counseling
sessions at his New Jersey home. Sessions
are held on June 26, 2006 ("How to
Recapture the Desire in your Marriage"),
and on June 27, 2006 ("Having Men and
Women Understand Each Other's Needs").
The cost: $250 per couple.
"brust" (breast) feeding
Shmuley says, "...breast-feeding often gets
in the way of the marriage itself. There
are 2 effects: One is the de-eroticization
of a woman's body. The second, a
husband and wife can't even sleep in the
bed because the baby is either in the bed
or the baby cries and takes all the
mother's attention...We have to begin to
question if the family is better off with a
baby on the bottle because no matter
what benefits there are to a baby with
breast-feeding, these would all be
severely undermined if the parents
marriage itself began to crumble."
"blien"(to flourish)
Shmuley disagrees with the popular
notion that young people should establish
themselves in a career before they marry. He argues "your career
will flourish when you are married. When you have a bad
day with your boss, you can come home
and find comfort in your wife's arms.
That will give you more sustenance for
your career."
"nief" (adultery)
Shmuley explains that there are 3 types
of adultery--mental adultery, in which
you think about others: emotional
adultery, in which you begin to rely and
confide in others: and obviously, sexual
adultery.
female pop stars
Shmuley says that female pop stars like
Britney and Madonna have "pushed the
envelope past provocative and into the
downright pornographic. 'Tween girls
across the country ("dos land") follow
their lead, and standards for how women
should be treated plummet."
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