the schmooze


*a song title by Barbra Streisand

Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York

Harry Golden ("Only in America") wrote,

The impression the father makes on his son's important enough to leave eradicable scars. Take the time the kid is playing in the street with his friends, and let one of the other kids say, "Johny, here comes your father." Now you have one of the most important moments in a boy's life. Do you have any idea what goes through his mind during that fleeting moment? Your appearance your dress, your walk, your manner, what you say to your son in greeting, and what you say to the other kids; these are matters of life and death to the son, whose heart thumps wildly through the ordeal. Of course, this is something he will never discuss with you. You'll never find out from him. You must discover it yourself.

In Yiddish, dad is known as the "tate," "tatteh," "tatteleh," "tatinkeh," or "tatteniu."

Shown below is a serious and not-so-serious Father's Day Dictionary and list of fatherly comments:

Boomers Against Reaching Fatherhood (Dave Barry)

Daddy Cool
Dad who can tell the difference between Bert and Ernie (Hugh O'Neill)

Daddy long legs
A daddy that bugs all of us

Daddy Warbucks
Top Sunday Daddy in the Funnies

Dave Barry quote
" My dad...he'd try anything--carpentry, electrical wiring, plumbing, roofing From watching him I learned a lesson that still applies to my life today: No matter how difficult a task may seem, if you're not afraid to try can do it. And when you're done, it will leak."

Deadbolted Dad
Dad who is locked out of his children's hearts.
"Nishtu gedacht." (It shouldn't happen.)

Disneyland Daddy
Divorced father who occasionally visits the kids and shows them a good time
(Susan Mills)

Eau My Papa
New "reyakh" (scent) for Father's Day (Wendy Glickstein)

Elva McAllaster quote re: "Death of a Salesman"
"Today, after I had marked up my textbook and made a heap of notes for the next class discussion, I sat nibbling my pen and thinking about all the wrong moves that poor Biff made after his private earthquake had dazed ihm, about how he typifies what anyone may do if/when a father steps or stumbles off a pedestal.

And fathers just don't stay on pedestals forever Fathers forget promises. Fathers make erroneous judgments. Fathers have limited knowledge. Fathers are erring mortals capable of faults and blunders and sins. TO DISCOVER THEIR FALLIBLE MORTALITY MAY BE EXCEEDINGLY PAINFUL, EVEN WHEN IT ISN'T AS HORRENDOUS AND TRAUMATIC AS BIFF'S DISCOVERY WAS."
Source: "When A Father is Hard to Honor" by Elva McAllster

Every man for himself. (Call made on those evenings when mom doesn't feel like cooking and dad and the kids must fend for themselves.)
(Christine H. Tiffany)

Father of the Jewish Theater
Abraham Goldfaden

Father's Day
Holiday invented by President Calvin Coolidge in 1925 to balance the sentimental excesses of Mother's Day.

Paternal Grandfather, that is, Father's father

Father's Mother (Lisa Simon)

Idiomatic 'Dad' Phrases
Big Daddy
Sugar Daddy
Mac Daddy

Lee Salk quote
"A good father is a little bit of a mother."

Leonard Bernstein's Theory
"Every son, at one point or another, defies his father, fights him, departs from him, only to return to him--if he is lucky--closer and more secure than before."

Masculine Gifts for Dad
The traditional tie (a kind of noose); a pair of "shkarpeten" (socks)--an insult; electronic gadgets (illusion of power); a gift certificate to a tattoo shop; and a James Bond movie

Mr. Smart (AKA 'Mr. Klug")
Dad who is trying to impress everyone and ends up making a fool out of himself

Model Dad
Harvey Feirstein, as a Manhattan dress designer whose father (Milton Berle) moves in with him. (Bruce Karp)

First stage of the father-daughter relationship; a period during which a father tends to be preoccupied with career building (William S. Appleton)

Paternity Testing

The pretense of going through someone's stack of baby pictures slowly, making cooing sounds, etc. (Rich Hall & Friends)

Pas Possible
Paternity tests (Abigail Dobbs)

Pop Quiz
Paternity test (Jim Doherty)

Runaway Dad
Also known as "What'sisname," "01," "Good-For-Nothing," "That Bum" (Matt GROENING)

Stay-At-Home Dad

Sam Levenson quote
"I didn't know that fathers were not supposed to hit kids if they were bad.
Most fathers hit kids--anybody's. The kid whose father didn't hit him felt that his father either wasn't interested in him or wasn't his real father."
(book, "Everything But Money")

Start-over dads. Men who have become fathers at a time in life when many of their contemporaries have retired or are thinking about it.

Spoiler Dad
Also known as "The Briber," "Mr. Ice-Cream-on-the-way," "01 Money Bags," ("You've scraped your kinee? Here's another dollar.") (Matt Groening

Top "Father-related" songs:
Rank song
10. Papa, Can You Hear Me by Barbra Streisand
9. Papa Don't Preach" b y Madonna/Kelly Osbourne
8. The Chld is Father to the Man by Blood Sweat and Tears
7. Father by LL Cool J
6. Oh My Papa by Eddie Fisher
5. Papa's Got a Brand New Bag by James Brown
4. Daddy Song Bass by Johnny Cash
3. Papa was a Rolling Stone by The Temptations
2. Papa Loves Mambo by Perry Como
1. Papa Oom Mow Mow by The Rivingtons

Yiddish Saying
"If your father was alive, he'd be turning over in his grave."

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N O P Q R S T U V W   Y Z
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

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