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EQUIVALENTS
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
Esquire Magazine, March 2010 ("This Way
Out"), had a fascinating article by Ross McCammon, titled, "Useful Equivalents
- A One-Page Reference Guide. He offers his readers these GENERAL
MEASURES:
1 Shakira 3
cats fighting in an alley
1 tangerine
1 grapefruit 1 tangelo
3 psychologists l psychiatrist
18 photos 1
video
14 e-mails 1
phone call
8 babies TV
deal
1 relationship Way too much work
--------------------------------------------
Shown below is my "nutsik" (useful) list of
Jewish/Yiddish equivalents:
Mame-loshn "mother tongue"
Jewish Penicillin Chicken soup (see
"Bobbemycin")
Jewish Happy Hour
Jews & Brews
"Floridated" Sent to Miami
Rodney Dangerfield
Jacob
Cohen
Gefilte fish (think)
Yiddish quenelles
Senior moment Brain freeze (in NYC)
"Chai Rider" Jewish motorcyclist
Couple who met
on the Internet Result: son named
"Yaacov
Yahoo"
"Baleboosteh" Molly Goldberg (radio/tv
show, "The
Goldbergs")
"Chaim Yonkel" Any Tom, Dick or Harry
"Moisheh Kapoyer"
Mr.
Upside-Down!
CBM Corned
Beef Maven
"Shadchen" A "dealer" in livestock
(Henny
Youngman term)
"Bagelicious" Attractive or voluptuous
young
woman, usually
Jewish.
(coined
by Lenore Skenazy)
"Bashert" Intended.
In
1994, N. J. Giordana
Shabot
married Richard
Shalom. Can
you think of a
more
bashert match than
Shabot
Shalom!
Blintz The
Jewish answer to French
crepes...Not
to be confused
with
a blimp, which is how
you
feel when you eat too
many.
("Meshuggenary
-
Celebrating
the World of
Yiddish" by
Stevens, Levine,
& Steinmetz)
Toyota moment
"Epes
iz kalyeh gevoren mit
dem
oyto. Kent ir es
farrichten?" (Something
is
wrong
with the car. Can you
fix
it?)
"Shporvdik" Thrifty Jew. Person who,
instead
of dry cleaning a
business
suit for $8.50,
donates
it to The Salvation
Army. They
clean it/press it,
etc.
and the "shporvdik"
buys
the suit back for $2.50.
"Dolly Parton"
"Sendvitsh" at
the Stage Deli:
2
rolls stuffed with corned
beef,
pastrami;, cold slaw, and
Russian
dressing.
"Bobbemyin"
A
pharmacist, who as a gesture
of
cheer to his grandmother
dear,
relabeled a drug
"bobbemycin."
Bernie Madoff
"nishtgutnik"/"gonif"
Kid with ADHD
Kid
with "shpilkes"
"Tsores" Trouble. Michael Wex ("How
to
Be
a Mentsh (& Not a Shmuck)"
provides
the best description of
someone
with "tsores":
"Imagine,
for instance, that
you're
depressed. You've lost
your
job and are working as a
telemarketer;
your spouse has
divorced
you and taken the
kids,
whom you can now see for
no
longer than an hour at a
time
and only under super-
vision
at nine A.M. on alternate
Sundays. You
had to sell your
collection
of Charlie Parker
bootleg
acetates to help cover
your
legal bills........
1 "frask" in "ponem"
3
timeouts
1 13-year-old "hunt"
1 B-A-R-K Mitzvah
1 "maidel mit a klaidel"
1
cutie-pie showing off her
(new)
dress
1 pair leather
shoes by Salvatore
Ferragamo
25
pairs of "Uggs"; "tayer shukh"
1 Financial Seminar
(dispensing advice)
1
Wealth Management Advisor:
"Buy
Rosh Hashanah:
Sell
Yom Kippur"
1 JDate Membership
$39.99
a month. (For an even
better
value, purchase a 3- or
6-month
subscription.) Mom is
happy.
1 "Frumster" membership
2become1
1 stop kosher shopping:
SuperSol
1 "aktrise," Tina Fey
1
politician, Sarah Palin
2 Jewish Fortune Cookies from Kosherman
2
delightful sayings:
Some
day you'll be a Jewish
mother...then
you'll always be
right.
So,
you were expecting a Dead
Sea
Scroll maybe?
1 "get" 1 website: "tookeverything.com"
10 blind dates
1 "bashert"
"Chai" $18. 1 cheap
Bar Mitzvah gift
83 (age
of) second Bar Mitzvah
"shainkeit"
Beauty.
Don
Rickles says of Larry King:
"You're
the only guy who would
ask
the president of France,
"Don't
you think she's too pretty
for
you?'"
--------------------------------------------
2 :gopls" (forks)
1
slice of "kez-kuchen" (cheese
cake)
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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction? Yiddish
Trivia." To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com
NU, what are you waiting for? Order the book!
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