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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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The Yiddish word meaning to survive/to remain alive is "blaybn lebn."
On Wednesday, Sept. 15, at 8 p.m. on CBS/2, I watched as the "yung" and "alt' (old) cast members appeared on "Survivor: Nicaragua."
Yes, there are two tribes: The Espada, who are "fertsik" (40) and over, and the La Flor, "draysik" (30) and "yinger" (younger).
Had I been chosen to appear on this program, I would have been the "eltst" (oldest)! Dan Lembo is 63 and is a Manhattan "grunteygns" (real-estate) executive. Jimmy Johnson, 67, was twice Super Bowl champ as Dallas Cowboys coach.
I can't understand why I wasn't chosen to appear on the program. I know that "Espada" in Spanish means "sword" and "La Flor" is flower. Why I even know the words to the song "Como La Flor" (Like The Flower), a 1993 song by Mexican-American singer, Selena. Como La Flor became known as "Fans Fave." This trivia "meyvin" is aware that the espada ropera was a sword developed in the mid-15th century in Spain. The name referred to swords worn by civilians, as opposed to those meant for battlefield use. It was lighter, thinner, and more ornate.
I have always considered myself a Jewish "adventure seeker" and a "kasnik"--an exciting person. I adhere to the philosophy that "He Who Rests, Rusts." So, when I heard that a new TV program, Survivor Nicaragua was looking for men and women --participants who won't break down, give up or freak out--I applied.
I sent them a 1953 picture of myself in Miami Beach as I shimmed up a palm tree to show off skills I hoped would be helpful in Nicaragua. Another segment of the tape had me pumping iron and working out at a gym in Syosset.
Then there's the video of me building a sukkah, the prefab variety, of course. And then the video shows me planting six memorial trees in Israel; it sure makes me look "gezunt vi a ferd" (healthy as a horse).
The selection committee weren't impressed with the fact that I knew that the Republic of Nicaragua (Republica de Nicaragua) is the largest Central American Country with borders on the Caribbean Sea and the Pacific Ocean. The country is slightly larger than the state of New York, & Nicaragua's capital is Managua. The population of Managua is approximately 1,680,000, and is composed predominantly of Spanish- speaking people. "Genug" (enough) with the statistics!
Yes, I did undergo an extensive background check. They found that I did receive FREE dishes at the Sutter Avenue movie theatre in Brooklyn. This was followed by a written psychological evaluation, and complete medical testing. I feared that my high cholesterol count and high blood pressure would eliminate me. No, I didn't mention that I suffer--on occasion--from "Jerusalem Syndrome." While in Jerusalem with our friends, the Kaplan's, I sometimes would don a white hotel bed sheet and preach sermons in the street, believing that I am a Biblical prophet. I also omitted the fact that I sometimes use "der gretshtrik" (clothesline) instead of the gas dryer. It's more "shporevdik" (economical)! And when I get "dershlogn" (depressed), I have been known to imitate Ally McBeal's fashion-forward "filosofye": "Whenever I get depressed, I raised my hemlines. If things don't change, I'm bound to get arrested."
Yes, I did give them a reference from the Queen Mother. That is, MY MOTHER, who is deceased. And since Ann Miller once listed her occupation on her passport as "Star," I listed MY occupation as a "technical adventure outfitter" at Lands' End.
So, "NIsht getrofen!" I guessed wrong; they didn't accept me. Perhaps it was "bashert." This Jewish "Bubba" agrees with Judy Muller, ABC News Correspondent, that the test of survival from REAL life is to put the entire "Mishpacheh" in the SUV, send them on a cross-country trip, without anybody being voted out. See how many can survive that!
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