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*Yiddish for "What is your name?"
Did you hear the story about Yaacov, who was the oldest
of "zibn" (7) children?
He had to quit school and work to help
support his younger brothers and sisters.
He never learned how to read. So, when he
married and established a checking account, he signed his checks just, "XX."
He started his own business, which soon
prospered. He became very "raykh" (rich).
One day he got a call from his "bankir."
"Yaakov, I wanted to ask you about this
check. We weren't sure you had really
signed it. All these years, you've been
signing your checks 'XX'; this one is signed
with three X's..."
Yaakov answered, "Since I've become so
wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a
middle name."
And then there's the lines from Cynthia
Freeman's book, "Come Pour The Wine":
Yankel opened a restaurant. Nine months later
Yankel and Pegeen were
blessed with a son. As Yankel looked down
at the child he said, "What a shayn little
boy."
Pegeen asked, "What did you say?"
"I said the little boy was shayn."
"Then that's his name..Sean."
On the birth certificate was written Sean
Stevens, at Pegeen's request.
Despite Yankel's deep affection for
Pegeen, he couldn't help regretting that a
son who was descended from generations
of rabbis should be called Sean. And the
changing of Stevensky to Stevens was
almost like having to cut his earlocks. But
this was America and in America one forgets the old ways."
It seems like just "nekhtn" (yesterday)
when I was singing,
"A my name is Alice
and my husband's name is Al.
We come from Arverne (NY),
and we sell apples."
Today, Gwyneth Paltrow has a daughter
named "Apple." Angelina Jolie and Brad
Pitt named their twins Knox Leon and
Vivienne Marcheline. And Rabbi Shmuley
Boteach, whose wife just had her 9th child,
has named their baby daughter, Cheftziba
Elka.
Rabbi Boteach explained that the name
Cheftziba means "my delight is in her."
He came across the name Cheftziba in the
book of Kings. Cheftziba was a queen of
Israel, the wife of King Hezekiah and
according to tradition the daughter of the
prophet Isaiah. He writes, "I was so enamored of the name. In an
age where so
many children are neglected in favor of their parents' careers, and where so
many
divorces result from spouses falling out of
love with each other, we gave our daughter
the name Cheftziba to convey that our
delight and G-d willing one day that of her
husband and her own children, will always
be in her.
Rube Goldberg's cartoon strips were
popular but the work that gave him
unforgettable lifelong fame was the character he created, Professor Lucifer
Gorgonzola Butts. Now that's a "nomen!"
The New York Observer (7/18/05) listed
the following birth announcement in their
column titled, "Born Yesterday."
Alana Marian Jones
May 17, 2005
11 a.m.
7 pounds
Beth Israel Medical Center
Sippy cups be damned! Little Alana Jones was
named after the pattern of the
elegant Waterford crystal in her family's
two-bedroom in Peter Cooper Village...
As the mother of three adult sons, I chose the mainstream
names of Matthew,
Jonathan, and Daniel. Today's parents
should be advised to follow these rules
(Esquire Magazine: A Man's Guide to Life"):
Rule #191 Men named Walter are taken
more
seriously than men named
Jason. Also
Billy.
Rule #147 Never name a child after a
continent,
a nation, or a
commonwealth.
Rule #465 No short man was ever named
Orlando.
Rule #122 Nobody named Josh is over 35.
Rule # 59 Women named after a month of
the
year are usually frisky.
In "Freakonomics," we read about a New
York livery-cab driver named Mr. Michael
Goldberg. He was shot in 2004. At that
time it was reported that Goldberg was in
fact an Indian-born Sikh; he thought it
advantageous to take a Jewish name upon
immigrating to New York.
Rabbi Richard Rocklin of Florida tells the
story about a car accident that took place
when he wa 7 years old. The accident
fractured his skull, leaving him in critical
condition. His mother went to a synagogue
to pray for her son, and added the Hebrew
name "Chayim," which means "life," to
Rocklin's name.
And the late Eddie Albert was born with
the surname Heimberger. He simplified
his name while still a college student because a radio announcer kept calling
him Eddie Hamburger.
One of the most humorous examples of
unique names can be found in the chapter
names for the Red Hat Society. This is an
organization for women over "fuftsik" (50).
The group is not political or religious:
their primary appeal is to find the joy of
life--a "shtik nakhes"(a piece of pleasure).
They wish to grasp the fun there is to be
had at this age--50 and beyond. The names
NEED TO BE SILLY. This is demonstrated
especially well in the pun category of
chapter names:
. Red Hat Mental Pausers
. Latte Dah
. Waltzing Red Matildas
. A.I.R. Heads (Adorned in Red)
. Is It Hot or Is It Just Me Red Hat Society
. Well-Red Ladies
. The Grapeful Red
. Family A'Flair
. Goodness Gray-cious
__________________________
Marjorie Wolfe's favorite line from the
late Sam Levenson: "We've named our
kids Bulova, Gruen, Walthem, Elgin,
Wittnauer and Benrus. They keep coming
like clockwork."
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