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The headlines read:
IVY-COVERED COLLEGE OFFERS A
COURSE TITLED, "DANCE, MUSIC,
AND NIGHTLIFE CULTURE IN NYC
THIS IS COLLEGE?
Parents of college students get poorer by degrees. In 1994, Stephen E. Frank wrote, "Today, the path to a college degree is as likely to include a dissertation on Madonna as one on Freud or a lesson on cartooning instead of one of Cezanne, and they're all for credit."
And Ben Shapiro says that "young people spend their time in college getting high, getting drunk ("shikker"), and getting off. So why shouldn't they major in it?"
Brooklyn College's motto translates to: "Nothing without great effort."
Yale University's motto translates to: "light and truth."
The very fine ivy-covered Yale University now offers its students a class called "Dance Music and Nightlife Culture in New York City." It is taught by graduate student, Madison Moore, and seminar sessions include "Looks, Doors and Guest Lists: Getting Past the Velvet Rope" and "The Birth of the Mega Club." Deejays will come to guest lecture, and there will be a field trip from New Haven to the BIG CITY, They'll take notes in the Boom Boom Room.
And what price are mom and dad paying for a Yale University education? $33,400, plus room and board of $12,230.
Over the years, these courses have been offered to college students:
"I Do, I Did, Wow! Did I!" The legal aspects of separation, divorce, and remarriage will be discussed. (Onondaga Comm. College)
"How to Write Great Ads That Not Only Your Mother Will Love" (The School of Visual Arts, NYC)
"Everything You Always Wanted to Do Once" (Hampshire College)
"The Cult of Bridget Bardot" (Middlebury College)
"Studies in Gender Performance: Madonna Undressed" (Univ. of Colorado at Boulder)
"Introduction to Circus Arts" (Bloomfield College, NJ)
"Brooklyn in Literature" (Brooklyn College)
"Southern Success Without the Southern Accent"
"Decisions, Decisions, Decisions" (Bristol Community College, Fall River, Mass.) Note: This course is for people who have a tough time making decisions day in and day out. If you don't know whether you want to sign up for this course, you are eligible.
"The Enron Case" (MBA course at the Univ. of California at Irvine)
"Making it with Mademoiselle" (a sewing course for Home Eco majors)
"Poetry of slain rapper, Tupac Shakur" (Univ. of California at Berkeley)
"Fluid Engineering 200" (topics range from proper daquari preparation to the art of beer funneling)
"Gourmet Canoeing" (a class that combines canoeing techniques with stops at the local waterfront restaurants)
"Oenology 101" (the study of wine)
"The Roman Banquet" (which asks the burning question: 'Why did the Romans recline when they ate?')
"The Biology of 'ER'" Try not to arrive during a change of shift, typically 7 a.m., 3 p.m. and 11 p.m. And ask everyone to wash and sanitize their hands before they touch you. Practice saying: "Muz ikh hoben rentgenshtralen?" (Do I have to have x-rays?) and "Iz dos biliger far z'keynim?" (Is it cheaper for senior citizens?) Do not whisper the famous words of Jackie Mason: "If a doctor has time to see you right away, he's no doctor!"
"Keyboarding Refresher I" (teaches that the difference between hired and fired is often just a typographical error)
"Arguing with Judge Judy: Popular 'Logic' on TV Judge Shows" (Univ. of California, Berkeley)
"A Guiding Light for the Young and the Restless" (Univ. of Wisconsin)
"Comparative History of Organized Crime" (Williams College)
And humorous courses for adults:
"Instant Yiddish - Talk Like a Mensch" (The Learning Annex)
"From Borscht to Sauerkraut: The Biology and History of Jewish Food" (Elderhostel course, now known as Exploritas)
"Shalom Y'all: Jews in the New Country" (Elderhostel course)
"What do Moses and Elizabeth Taylor Have in Common?" (Elderhostel course)
"Two Boys From Brooklyn: Mel Brooks and Woody Allen" (Elderhostel course)
"Di Goldeneh Medinah? An 1880-1925 Look at Immigrant Yiddish Life" (Elderhostel course offered at Eckerd College)
-----------------------------------------
Marjorie Wolfe agrees with Sally and
James Reston: "Helping your eldest son
pick a college is one of the great eductional
experiences of life--for the parents, next to
trying to pick his bride, it's the best way to
learn that your authority, if not entirely
gone, is slipping fast."
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