  
|
LOVE VS. LUST
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
|
|
Headline: Jan. 30, 2009
JIMMY CARTER “NOT TOO OLD” TO LUST IN HIS HEART
Headline: May 23, 2014
RABBI SHMULEY BOTEACH SAYS LUST IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LOVE
Yes, the 39th President of the U. S. said, “I’ve looked on many women
with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows
I will do this and forgives me.”
(Source: Interview in Playboy magazine, 1976, while a candidate
for President)
And Rosalynn Carter said her husband was just trying to explain “his own strict moral code. (Note: He remains married to his wife to this day!) Actress Renee Zellweger admitted lusting for Jimmy Carter, having waited two-and-a-half hours in the cold in Manhattan to get him to sign her copy of his new book.
Rabbi Boteach, the man whose website calls him “America’s Rabbi,” has just published a new book titled, “Kosher Lust: Love Is Not the Answer.” Two previous book titles were “Kosher Sex” and “Kosher Jesus.”
Daniel Treiman (4/10/14) listed Boteach’s proposal for the next 10 titles in his “kosher series.” :-)
Shmuley has written roughly 30 books, has nine children, ages 25 down to 5, and has had a deep friendship with Michael Jackson. He has chatted with Dr. Oz, and led a debate about Israel at Barnard College.
In the preface, Shmuley asks an important “frage” (question): “What happened to love? It seems to have a short shelf life these days.” He continues, “Love was never meant to serve as the glue (“der kley”) that keeps couples romantically together. Love simply is not strong enough to do that.”
He says, “The principal reason for the breakdown of marriages and relationships is that in modern times they are built not on lust but on love. Lust, the most powerful force in the universe, is the real glue between a man and a woman...”
Shmuley writes, “So people are shacking up more and marrying less.
Married couples are today in the U. S., for the first time ever, a minority
of households Nearly half of all women are single (“neet khasene
gehat”). Only lust can create the primal bond that keeps a man and a
woman magnetized to each other. Only lust can truly invigorate a marriage.”
Judge Judy is not the only person speaking about “shacking up.” Her
newest book is titled, “What would Judy Say: A Grown-Up Guide To
Living Together With Benefits.” She writes, “When I was young, you
either left your parents’ house in a white dress or a pine box...Living
together without benefit of marriage is now common. At last census, 45
percent of all households were unmarried couples.” And her courtroom
is filled with disillusioned and financially devastated former live-ins.
Michael Wex also discusses “shacking up.” He writes, “The best way I’ve heard of referring to a “significant other” with whom you might be cohabiting but to whom you are certainly not married is as a “freg-nisht” or “freg-nisht-tse.” The former is a male, the latter female.
So, what are the SIGNS OF LUST and the SIGNS OF LOVE?
Dr. Judith Orloff provides an answer:
SIGNS OF LUST:
SIGNS OF LOVE:
(Source: Excerpted from “The Ecstasy of Surrender. 12 Surprising ways letting go can power your life” by Judith Orloff, M.D..)
Shmuley discusses those people from the bible who felt lust: “The lust we’re talking about is what Abraham felt for Sarah, what Isaac and Rebecca felt for each other the first time they meet what Jacob felt for Rachel for whom he was forced to work for seven years and yet, ‘they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.’” (Genesis 29: 20)
And what novels have been written about the power of lust? Shmuley says “Anna Karenina, Madame Bovary, Lady Chatterley’s Lover are all novels about the power of lust. He asks, “Why is Fifty Shades of Grey so popular?...So why do today’s women--in droves--want to read a book about sexual submission to a man?...The best answer they could come up with in Newsweek was that women today have so many responsibilities with work and home duties that they want to escape (“antloyfn”) into a stress-reducing fantasy (“fantazye”) of a man making their decisions for them...The real story of Anastasia and Christian Grey is about a man who lusts after a woman so deeply that all his money and his stuff--his toys, his helicopters, his company, and material success--mean nothing to him. He just has to have her.” Shmuley continues, “Women today simply aren’t being lusted after. And that’s why they’re flocking to read this book, because they don’t know what that feels like, and they know that it’s what they most want.”
The Yiddish words meaning “to betray” are “farratn” and “aroysgebn.” Shmuley writes, “A man in the throes of lust for another woman will betray the mother of his kids, forget the holy covenant of marriage that he has pledged to her, lose all sense of his moral obligations in a white hot instant, because love doesn’t stand a chance when it comes to overpowering lust.”
Shmuley says that there are three different kinds of lust:
The rabbi’s discussion of Steve Jobs was so “interesant” (interesting).
He writes, “Steve Jobs was one of the greatest marketing experts in
world history. What was his secret (“sod”)? It wasn’t just Apple’s
technology, because there are other corporations with great technology.
Steve Jobs understood that you can make people feel a hunger for
and a yearning to be made whole by a product. He divined the
secret of lust as an underlying force in the university...Apple became
the most valuable company in the history of the world (di velt”) because
Steve Jobs saw that he could make people lust after his products. He
could have consumers hungering after a phone the way a man lusts after
a woman and a woman after a man.”
And Shmuley writes about that famous song from Fiddler on the Roof, where Tevye asks his “froy” (wife), Goldie, if she loves him. She responds, “that for twenty-five years she kept house for him, washed his clothes, raised his kids, so that must mean she loves him.” “Love is absolutely found in practical matters; we dare not denigrate the importance of showing up for the daily work of running a household together. But it is still not enough,” writes Shmuley.
Shmuley ends the book with “zibn” (7) words: “So go on: live, love and lust.”
Dr. Judith ends her article with, “It’s so much easier to be involved with someone your gut likes. Then you’re not always guarding against a basic suspicion or incompatibility. You must also give yourself permission to listen to your gut when it says, ‘This person is healthy for you. You are going to make each other happy.’ This person is healthy for you. You are going to make each other happy.’ To be happy, take a risk, but also pay attention to the warning signs I presented. This allows you to wisely go for the fulfilling relationship you deserve.”
And Judge Judy concludes her book with “zibetsn” (17) words: “I really love living with Jerry Sheindlin, and he ain’t easy. Me, I’m a piece of cake.”
| A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M |
| N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | Y | Z |
| Yiddish
Stuff Jewish Humor Schmooze News More Majorie Wolfe |
Principle Jewish Stories All Things Jewish Jewish Communities of the World |