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I disagree with the Boston radio critic who likens Keillor and his "down comforter voice" to "a hypnotist intoning, 'You are getting sleepy now.'"
Keillor has created the fictional world of Lake Wobegon, Minnesota. His readers can actually visualize the Lake Wobegon Lutheran Church, the Chatterbox Cafe, Bunsen Motors, the First Ingqvist State Bank, and Ralph's Pretty Good Grocery. (Yes, some residents do sneak off to the Higgledy-Piggledy in St. Cloud, with its two acres of food and "steaks big enough to choke a cow.)
What "gelekhter" (laughter) as Keillor describes the two parking meters on Main Street; two was all they could afford. Nobody puts nickels in them because parking nearby is free.
And then there's the sign outside the "kloyster" (church) announcing this week's sermon: "IT COULD BE WORSE."
Everyone in town celebrates Christmas. The carolers are offered a "kikhl" (cookie) or a piece of cake. Baking begins weeks ahead...rumballs and fruitcakes are soaked with spirits. There's no mention of Hanukkah, synagogues, Hadassah meetings, kosher food, Halvah, matzah balls, or Bar Mitzvahs in "Lake Wobegon Days."
On the April 2, 2005, "Prairie Home Companion," Keillor said: "For people who need to travel back and forth between New York and Minnesota, language can be confusing, and that's why we've published the Yiddish-Minnesota phrasebook for travellers."
Do we really need another Yiddish dictionary/phrasebook? We have Leo Rosten's "Joys of Yiddish." Fred Kogos wrote, "From Shmear to Eternity - The Only Book of Yiddish You'll Ever Need," and Yetta Emmes published, "Drek! The REAL Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You." Rabbi Benjamin Blech wrote, "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Learning Yiddish," and Michael Wex just published, "Just Say Nu."
"Es iz nit geshtoygn un nit gefloygn."
(It just doesn't make sense!)
Garrison admits that "People who visit Lake Wobegon come to see somebody, otherwise they missed the turn on the highway and are lost." (They don't come for the three-day Mist County Fair with its exciting Death Leap from the top of the grandstand to the arms of the haystack for only ten cents.)
I assume, then, that in Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average, a Yiddish dictionary is necessary.
And so, I'd like to share Keillor's Yiddish- Minnesota Dictionary and thank him for providing us with so much fun.
Sue Scott: Mazel tov.
Tim Russell: Real good then.
SS: So, nu?
TR: How come? What's the deal?
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Ufta.
GK: There
are six pages devoted to
Oy
veh alone--
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Always.
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Boy,
you got a vivid
imagination
there.
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Oh, fer gosh sake.
SS: Oy veh.
TR: I knew it!
SS: Oy veh.
TR: I've about had it up to here!
GK: Plus
hundreds of other handy
terms
and phrases in both
lanuages.
SS: What a schlemiel.
TR: Lissen,
ya big corndog. Don't
be
such a doofus.
SS: Listen,
enough with the
schmoozing,
time to get off
your
tucchis.
TR: Well,
can't sit around here
chewing
the fat all day, gotta
hit
the road.
SS: He's nice. So heymish.
TR: Yeah,
she could've done a lot
worse,
I'll say that.
SS: Even his house is full of dreck.
TR: You
ever been in his house? It's
different,
I'll say that.
GK: Almost
enough phrases in the
Yiddish-Minnesota
dictionary
so
you can carry on a whole
conversation.
SS: Don't
make a whole tsimmes
out
of it.
TR: Don't
go to no trouble on
account
a us. No need to get
all
hoity-toi about it. Just put
the
hay down where the goats
can
get it.
SS: As
if we don't have enough
tsuris
already.
TR: We're
hip deep in sheep dip as
it
is.
SS: Why
are we schlepping all this
way
out to New Jersey to see
that
schmegegge?
TR: This
is kinda the roundabout
way
of getting there, don't you
know. If
it were up to me, I'd
just
as soon stay home. The
guy
is dumber than a box full
of
hammers.
SS: Who
am I? The highway map
maven?
TR: Don't ask me, you're driving.
SS: What's all the shtus about?
TR: I
feel like I'm in a bunch of
lunatics.
SS: I
am sitting on shpilkes with all
this
schlepping around and all
the
other mishegas. I am
completely
oysgeshpilt.
TR: She's
got her undies in a bunch
because
of all the hoop-de-doo.
I
think she's about to go into
conniptions
and pitch a fit.
SS: Feh!
TR: That's no good.
GK: The
Yiddish-Minnesota
dictionary. Two
languages that
are
rich in sorrow and
complaint,
a little short on the
rhapsodic.
SS: Nisht geferlich.
TR: It could be worse.
SS: Hey I'm farmisht.
TR: What
do you say we tie on the
old
feedbag?
SS: So, nu?
TR: Whaddaya
say let's head inta
town.
GK: The
Yiddish-Minnesota
dictionary Get
one. Don't be
a
dummy.
________________________________
SS: So,nu?
Tim Russell:
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