JOB HUNTING
WISDOM COMES WITH THE YEARS
by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

There's a Yiddish expression, "Der seykhl kumt nokh di yorn"--Wisdom comes with the years.

Every state is now shedding jobs at a rapid pace.  Ellen Gordon Reeves ("Can I Wear My Nose Ring to the Interview?"), says that "The nose ring is a metaphor for the complexities of the job hunt, which may involve more soul-searching than you imagine..."  Her 2009 book "isn't just for job-seekers with nose rings, tongue studs, tattoos, blue hair, or pierced eyebrows." Read it; it's wonderful!

The late Sam Levenson ("You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What," copyright 1979), descibed the following job ad:

     WANTED:
     Man to Assemble Nulear Fissionable
     Isotopes, Molecular Reactivity Counters,
     and Three-Phase Cyclotronic Uranium
     Photosynthesizers.  No experience
     necessary.

F-a-s-t  forward to 2009.  One out-of-work investment "bankir" got creative in his job search.  He stood on Park "evenyu" (NY) handing out resumes and wearing a sandwich board saying, "Experienced M.I.T. Grad for Hire."

The late Rabbi Allen Kaplan, who served Temple Emanu-El in Yonkers, NY, emphasized that the synagogue needs to take a proactive role with its families in need.  He understood that when money gets tight, members may disappear ("farshvundn vern") from the congregation rather than deal with the humiliation of admitting their inability to pay the dues.

The San Francisco Bay area is one of America's hardest hit regions during the recession.  Area synagogues found members leaving.  In response to the difficult situation, job networking groups were established to assist those members who were out of work.

Rabbi Janet Marder, of Beth Am in Los Altos Hills, CA, reached out in a variety of ways to sustain the estimated eight percent of temple members who are out of work. (2003).  These people were told,"We don't want to lose you.  Dues relief was offered when appropriate.

Richard Dorment, an editor at a man's "zhurnal" (magazine) writes in the July '09 issue of Esquire that he has spent many nights wondering and  worrying about what he would do if he lost his job.  He even questioned what he COULD do.

So, for six weeks, he applied for about "dray hundert" (300) jobs.  What were they?

personal shopper at Tiffany marketing director at Nascar VP of collection and exhibitions at the   Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum housekeeper on a cruise "shif" (ship) customer-service rep at Trump University men's buyer at Loehmann's   (Yes, after the destruction of the Second
  Temple, God created Loehmann's
  Shopping Plaza!)
"beybi" (baby) photographer
  (Novelist, Emile Zola, said, "In my opinion,
  you cannot say you have thoroughly seen
  anything until you have got a photograph
  of it.")  So "shmeykhl"--smile!
salesman at Macy's
  (Is Mr. Dorment aware of the 1930s expression, "Does Macy's tell Gimbel's?"
Does one rival business share its secrets with another?)
sneaker "farkoyfer" (salesman) at Adidas security guard at Yankee Stadium
  (Did Mr. Dorment mention that the
  Yankee Stadium has quickly acquired a
  reputation as a "bandbox" and a "
  "launching pad" due to the high number
  of home runs at the new ballpark?)

Marjorie Wolfe suggests that Richard could have enjoyed the interview more if he knew the Yiddish words to the song,"Take Me Out to the Ballgame":

  Fir mir oys tsu der bolgeym,
  Tsum oylem lomir dokh geyn
  Keyf mir di nisleh un kreker jek
  Vil ikh keynmol fin dort geyn avek
  Vayl men shrayt "Vivat!" far di shpiler
  s'iz a shande az men farhpilt
  Vayl s'iz "eyns, tsvey, dray" strikes bist "ovs!"
  In der beysbol geym.
    (song written by Jack Norworth
    and Albert Von Tilzer.  Yiddish
    lyrics written by Henry Sapoznik.)

Did Mr. Dorment realize the truth in the Yiddish expression, "Er vet shoyn keyn honik nit lekh"?  (Things won't be easy for him; or He won't be licking honey.)

At the same time that the above-mentioned article appeared in Esquire, Andy Simmons wrote a piece in Reader's Digest (LAST LAUGH).  He shared a cover letter of a job applicant who feels confident that he'll get an interview by writing why he's the right person for the job.

"My mother delivered me without anesthesia, so I have an IQ of 146 and can therefore learn anything."  He also asks the potential employer to disregard his 14 previous jobs.  (He wasn't job hopping; he never once quit a job  "They stopped paying him.")

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:

"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!