Although Israel
is a country known for its
"glaykhgiltik" (casual) dress, informality
has its limits. Israel's parliament unleased
the fashion "politsey" (police) recently,
saying that visitors wearing "unbecoming
attire" would be barred from entering
The order is aimed specifically
at the local media and parliamentary staffers. Earlier
this "yor," Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's
office issued a similar dress code after a
female journalist wore a skin-baring top
to a news conference
Another lawmaker told Army Radio
that one of her male staffers was barred from
entering the Knesset because he was
wearing "blekhene heyn" (jeans/work pants)
Avi Balashnikov, director general
of the parliament said, "Entrance to the Knesset
will be barred to anyone wearing unbecoming attire, such as sleeveless
T-shirts, short pants, jeans and, for women,
short T-shirts that expose the midriff."
How much do you know about "blekhene
heyzn"--jeans? Grab a #2 "blayer" (pencil)
and let's see how well you do
A "Levite" is someone who wears jeans religiously
A) True
B) False
Jackie Mason wrote, "Let's
assume the hottest item today is a pair of jeans.
Ordinarily jeans would be considered a shmatte, a
rag to clean the floor with.
It would be considered tscharge--falling apart--because
the jeans are faded or they're torn. But ten minutes later, because it
has the right label, it's a hot item. Eighty-year-old Jewish women are
walking around with torn jeans on Fifth Avenue and they call it couture."
A)
True
B) False
Who said, "If the
trend to sports shirts and blue jeans is not checked, our future generation
of fathers may well be dressing in exactly this
fashion when they go to their jobs as executives and white-collar workers"?
A) Max Cohen, Battleship Max Cohen, on Sands Street in Brooklyn
B) Bruce Gimbel, Gimbel Brothers
C) Diane von Furstenberg
D) Joe & Paul Clothiers, 1586 Pitkin Avenue, Brooklyn. Paul Kofsky
opened the store in 1912. He invented an imaginary cohort, Joe, because
he thought people would trust him more if they thought he had a partner. Sholom
Secunda wrote a song
advertising his store. As for singing, Kofsky would handle it himself
Who said, "I haven't
got the figure for jeans"?
A) Margaret Thatcher
B) Molly Picon
C) Golda Meir
Tight jeans and poor
posture can cause acute "veytik" (pain)
A) at the tailbone
B) in the "pupik" (belly button)
C) in the "tuchis"
Generally, it takes about "tsvelf" (12) washings
at home to get a pair of brand-new jeans to "beyfgn" (bend) carefully
A) True
B) False
According to the late
Erma Bombeck ("Aunt Erma's Cope Book"), "One ("eyns") pair of jeans is
not considered a 'mini load.'"
A) True
B) False
Levi's blue jeans was first peddled
to California gold miners. It was sold
in vending machines in Paris in 1986.
A buyer could step up to "di mashin," pay
$45 by "kredit-kartl," and walk away with a pair of Levi's
A) True
B) False
In 2007, a pair of Moschino
slim jeans with peace emblem sold at Macy's Herald Square for
A) $240
B) $350
C) "With or without an "elter" (senior) discount?"
D) "Zol ikh azoy visn fun tsores."
I'm not the least bit interested. (I should know as
much about troubles as I want to know about this.)
Mell Lazarus ("Momma" cartoon)
said, When your son says, MOMMA, I'VE DECIDED
TO START DRESSING LIKE A REGULAR PERSON! Translated it means:
A) "Freg mir
nit keyn kashes." (Don't ask me any questions.)
B) "Can you tape up this rip in my jeans so I can wear them to a job interview?"
C) "Makh nit keyn tsimes fun dem." (Don't make a fuss about
it.)
In 1994, Jill Lynch, a spokeswoman for Levi
Strauss & Co., said, "Remember, no two
size-nine women have the same
body type." You reply:
A) "A dayge hob ikh?" (Is it my worry?)
B) "Azoy geyt es." (That's how it goes.)
C) "Okyh mir a meyvn." (Look who's acting like an expert.)
D) All of the above
In 1977, three Israeli brothers--Joe, Ralph,
and Avi Nakash--bought TV time to hype their own brand of jeans, called
Jordache, BEFORE they'd even made any. The ploy worked, big.
You reply:
A) "That's chutzpa!" or "That's
khutspe!"
B) "Klug!" (Smart!)"Az a yor oyf mir." I should
have such good fortune. (Such a year on me.)
Young Barbara Bush caused an international
stir by reportedly wearing blue jeans to Buckingham
Palace
A) True
B) False
C) "Es past vi a khazer." It's in very bad
taste. (It's as suitable as a pig.)
The New York Times (Aug. 30, 07) ran
the following headline:
"ARE YOUR JEANS SAGGING?
GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL."
In Mansfield, LA, people who wear sagging pants/jeans
will be fined as much as $150 plus court costs or jail time (up to15
days). What's
an appropriate response?
A) "Hobn kinder iz shver ober
hodeven zey is nokh shverer." (Bearing children
is difficult, raising them even more so.)
B) If velvet and silk hang in your closet, you can step out in rags.
C) Dan Greenberg ("How to Be a Jewish Mother") was right:
(4) Never buy a garment that fits--it should always
be two or three sizes too large so that
the child can grow into it
ANSWERS:
1. B A Levite is a member of the tribe of Levi. According
to Eisenberg and Scolnic ("Dictionary
of Jewish Words")
"Levites carried the
Tabernacle and later assisted at
the Temple by serving as gatekeepers,
teachers, musicians, and assistants
to the priests (Kohanim).
2. A
3. B
4. A
5. A
6. A
7. A
8. A
9. B
10. B
11. D
12. A, B,
Bush wore jeans, that their Secret Service agents looked like fashion
twins? The agents coordinated their wardrobes. "We want to know a day in advance," says a spokesman. "We try to fit in. You
get made fun of when the President is at the beach and we're in a suit."
14. A
__________
Marjorie Wolfe says that she has an uncanny knack for "either buying all the wrong clothes or not getting an
'farbetung' (invitation) to any of the right 'freylekh' affairs."
___________________________________________ Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction? Yiddish
Trivia." To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com
