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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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*Halvah is a sweet candylike confection of
Turkish origin, consisting chiefly of ground
sesame seeds and honey.
Halvah means "sweet meat" in Turkish; it
has been called
the "Food of the Gods." Halvah was
sometimes used amusingly in satirical
movie credits. Choreographer Agnes de
Mille became "Agnes de Halvah."
Do not confuse "halvah" with the Yiddish word "halevai." This word means "it should only be." When you hear of someone having good luck, like winning a raffle for a trip to Israel, you might say, "Halevai, it should only happen to me."
My husband, Howard, has been called many things: "der man" (the husband), "der tate" (the father), "der zeyde" (the grandfather), and, occasionally, "moisheh kapoyer" (Mr. Upside-Down! A person who does every- thing wrong or in reverse.) His latest "nomen" is "The Halvah Man."
How did he get this new title?
In South Florida I give one-hour lectures titled, "Essn. Essn. The Children in Europe are Starving." Actually, TODAY, we hear Mama say, "Finish your vegetables. There are children in Beverly Hills with eating disorders."
I talk about the fact that Jews don't eat; they "fress." They eat with relish and fervor. If a Jew says he's not "hungerik," take his temperature. Start making the chicken soup. He's "krank" (ill).
I reminisce about my grandparents, Clara and Louis Gottlieb, who lived on East 98th Street and Rutland Road, Brooklyn, around the corner from the Sutter Avenue theatre. (Remember the free dishes?) When we visited every "zuntik," we knew we'd be served home-made "epl" sauce and latkes. There's no way that they could have comprehended that in 2008, the Carnegie Deli (NY) would charge $12.95 for 3 "latkes" with applesauce or sour cream.
The glass-topped table in their living room contained "arbus"--chick peas. "Arbus" was probably the earliest snack food for Jews; they have been eaten throughout the middle east for centuries.
Like many Eastern European Jewish immigrants, my grandparents drank their tea by sipping it from glasses through a piece of sugar held between the teeth. The Yiddish term for a glass of tea is a "glezel tai."
We talk about the bagel. Bagels were originally considered to be "mazeldik" because of their round form. I share Jill Oestreicher Gross's letter to the Metropolitan Diary (New York Times, Aug. 11, 2003):
Dear Diary:
On a recent weekend I came up from
Washington to visit my mother. We stopped at my favorite bagel place, Ess-a-
Bagel, on 21st Street and First Avenue. She
waited in the car, parked by a fire hydrant,
while I went in for our bagels.
As I placed our order, I noticed that a police car had pulled up next to mother's car.
The man behind the counter smearing cream cheese on bagels also noticed and yelled out: "Anyone double-parked at the hydrant? The police are there."
I explained that my mother was waiting in the car, and with luck wouldn't be ticketed.
"O.K.," he said, "I just didn't want you to pay $110 for a bagel!"
During the talk I said that my "zeyde-bobe" would never have comprehended how some skinny malinks take a healthy full-grown flawless perfect lovely "Everything" bagel and scoop it out. Tear out its insides, like they were planning to give it an MRI. Meshuge!
My audience, primarily senior citizens, laughed when I shared a New York Times article by Frank Bruni about the Second Avenue Deli. It contained the following headline:
QUIT KIBITZING AND PASS THE GRIBENES.
Yes, the Second Avenue Deli places a FREE bowl of gribenes (chicken skin fried in chicken fat) on every table. In the past you had to ask for it; now you just have to atone for it says Bruni.
I share the fact that Cinnabon stores now offer kosher buns. That's not quite so momentous as when Oreos get the kosher seal of approval in 1998. There were enough consumers concerned about kashrut to prompt Nabisco to pay for kosher certification.
I talk about Molly Goldberg, the Jewish Betty Crocker. The audience recalls how Molly introduced her nut cake:
In the first place, when it cooks, the aroma is more delicious. In the second place, when you eat it, it's a treat of the first order. The compliments are worth more than anything put together. And, oh, yes, to get a good flavor, you should always buy nuts in the shell AND CRACK YOURSELF.
As my talk comes to an end, a Lake Worth, Florida, resident presents me with a Jewish fortune cookie. The paper message reads:
"May your pastrami never have mayonnaise on it."
As guests depart, my husband, THE HALVAH MAN, gives each person a generous supply of halvah, compliments of Joyva. The seniors give a big "shmeykhl" (smile). It becomes obvious that halvah is as much about nostalgia as it is about dessert.
______________
Marjorie is waiting for Joyva to produce cookie dough halvah.
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