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THERE'S NO "DOUBT"
THE POWER OF GOSSIP IS HARMFUL
The Yiddish word for gossip is "lashon hara."
Our sages have stated, "Gossip kills three: the teller, the listener, and the subject."
We are told that the shame done by "lashon hara" is even worse than the harm done by stealing or cheating somebody financially. (Tell that to the many individuals and companies that have been financially ruined by Bernard Madoff!)
I grew up hearing the following expessions:
. A four-inch tongue can kill a six-foot man.
. A loose tongue often gets into a tight place.
. Gossip is a rumor that goes in one ear and out many mouths.
. A spoken word can't be unheard.
. Having a sharp tongue may cut your own throat.
I also learned this Yiddish expression:
"Vos veniker me redt, iz alts beser."
(The less you talk, the better everything is.)
People who are gossiped about almost always find out, and most of the time they can trace the story and determine who said what.
Bridgid A. Boyle gave a sermon on 7/25/04 at the Presbyterian Church of Chestnut Hill. He wrote, "Given our human nature, once started, stopping gossip is about like trying to unring a bell."
Boyle tells the story about a man in a little Jewish village, who went to his rabbi for help with a problem.
"Rabbi," he said, "I have a problem: I just can't stop myself from gossiping." The rabbi thought for moment, and then gave him some sheets of "papir" (paper) from his drawer. "Take these," he said, "tear them into small pieces this evening ("ovnt"), go round the village and put a handful of pieces on the door step of each person you have gossiped about. Then come back and see me."
The man did as the rabbi told him. When he came back he asked the rabbi what he should do next. "Go round the village ("dorf") again tonight, gather up all the pieces and glue them back together again." "But that is impossible ("ummiglekh"),"said the man. "The wind has blown them all away." "Yes," replied the rabbi." "Now you know why gossip is so deadly."
I recently had the pleasure of seeing the movie, "Doubt," starring Meryl Streep (as Sister Aloysius) and Philip Seymour Hoffman (as Father Flynn).
For those unfamiliar with the storyline, Sister Aloysius is the principal at St. Nicholas Catholic School in the Bronx. The year: 1964. Sister keeps her resident nuns and students on a short and tightly-held rein. ("Wooden rulers are so much more effective.") One movie reviewer wrote that Sister Aloysius frequently resembles a cross between a scarecrow and a vampire bat."
Father Flynn is less authoritarian and better equipped to chum up with the students. He coaches basketball and APPEARS to be giving a lot of attention to one boy, the first black student at St. Nicholas. We can't be sure if he's guilty of the heinous act of which he is suspected. Flynn gives a perfectly reasonable "derklerung" (explanation) of his behavior but there is doubt about the Father.
For anyone who loves sermons, see the movie! Father Flynn delivers an inspiring sermon on the subject of doubt. He describes the shipwrecked sailor afloat on a raft taking his bearings from the stars in an effort to reach land, then enduring"draysik" (30) nights of cloud that make him unsure of the way.
Flynn's second-- and most eloquent--sermon is on the pervasive evil of gossip. His sermons usually follow from his daily experiences. Flynn keeps a notebook handy and jots down thoughts He says,"Gossip is like a man who was one day told to stand on a rooftop and cut open a feather "kishn" (pillow)." Then on the next day he was ordered to gather up all the feathers--an impossible task since they are scattered.
And, finally, on the subject of doubt, Rabbi Sholom Ciment told this story:
The only survivor of a shipwreck washed up on a small uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stung with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me?" he cried. (He certainly had his doubts about God!) Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" the weary man asked his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied."
(Source: "Fire And Smoke," by Rabbi Sholom Ciment,
The Jewish TImes)
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