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A "GANEF"* IN HENRICO, VA"

by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
marjorie
Syosset, New York

*A "gonif"/"ganev" is a thief, a crook, an unworthy person. The Yiddish word meaning to steal is "ganvenen."

The Eighth Commandment reads "Thou Shalt Not Steal."

Rabbi Barry H. Block of Temple Beth-El in San Antonio, TX, delivered a sermon on Feb. 17, 2006. With his permission, I have quoted one paragraph:

"When we steal, in whatever form, we place our own temporal needs above what is right. If our highest standard is, 'I won't get caught,' we have joined ourselves to the lowest level of humanity ("mentshhayt"). We are no different from the stick-up man. We are thieves. We are part of the crowd that engages in wrong- doing, serving ourselves up as justification for others to do wrong, as well. Turning ourselves into robbers, we have become the victims of our own actions, for we have made ourselves less than human."

The headlines read, "THIEVES STEAL TRUCK WITH PRESIDENT'S EQUIPMENT."
This theft took place in Henrico, Virginia, not Washington, D.C. or New York City! Henrico is one of the oldest political subdivisions in Virginia. Henrico was the scene of the second settlement in the colony and was established in 1634 as one of the eight original shires or counties. The county was named for Henry, Prince of Wales, the eldest son of King James I of England.

Jackie Mason ("How to Talk Jewish") wrote, "New York is a dangerous place. People will steal anything."
One NYC supermarket posted the following sign: THIS PLACE IS GUARDED BY A SHOTGUN THREE NIGHTS A WEEK. YOU GUESS WHICH NIGHTS. (Source: "Don Blakelys Handbook of Wit and Pungent Humor.")

And then there's the joke about a "bazukher" (visitor) to Washington, D.C. who parked his car near the Capitol. As he stepped out he said to a man standing nearby, "antshuldik mir" (excuse me). If you are going to be here for a few minutes, will you keep an eye on my car?"

"Do you realize that I'm a U.S. Senator?" asked the bystander.

"No, I didn't know," said the motorist, "but it's all right. I'll trust you anyway."

Who would think that someone would steal a "lastoyto" (truck) filled with President Obama's podiums and audio equipment? Did the thieves "bekhavonoh" (intentionally) target the President, or was it a "farbrekhn" (crime) of opportunity?

The truck was parked at the Virginia Center Commons Courtyard Marriott in advance of Wednesday's [Oct. 12, 2011] presidential visit to Chesterfield. The truck contained $200,000 worth of sound equipment, a teleprompter. and several podiums. The truck had no markings and no indication anything "spetsyel" (special) was inside. BTW, no classified or sensitive information was in the vehicle.

The "gut nayes" (good news): The truck was found 14 hours later in another hotel parking lot, the Holiday Inn Express.

Pat Dollard [Investors Business Daily] provided the best explanation. He wrote, "Forensics experts learned two things: First, that the thieves quickly realized that they pilfered more than they could pawn and had to leave Dodge asap, and 2) at least they got a free continental breakfast ("frishtik") with their room after the heist."

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

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