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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
In the Introduction to Bernard Goldberg's new book titled, "100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (And Al Franken Is #37"), he writes of sitting on a plane at Newark Airport, waiting to take off for Miami. In close proximity, is an attorney--right out of Central Casting--talking to a colleague about some legal brief.
The lawyer, speaking loudly and clear on his cell phone ("der tselularer telefon"), invokes the name of a U. S. Supreme Court justice--Antonin Scalia--to give a little weight to his brief. (Scalia, 77, was recently found to be the funniest Justice, 19 times as funny as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.)
This well-educated, sophisticated man, then says to the guy at the other end of the phone, "It' s All F**ked up."
Goldberg writes, "And here's the thing: No one within earshot raised an eyebrow. The remark drew as much attention as if he had said to the flight attendant, 'Got any peanuts?'"
In 2004 Chevy Chase potty-mouthed President Bush at the Kennedy Center, where the actor hosted an award ceremony staged by People for the American Way. He unleashed a rant against Bush that stunned "der oylem" (the crowd). He deployed the four-letter word, calling the prez a "dumb [expletive]." And Sarah Silverman, a nice Jewish girl and stand-up comic, also has a real potty mouth. (She has been compared to Lenny Bruce because of her off-color language.)
When I was growing up in Arverne (Rockaway Beach, New York), I, too, heard many "f" words. In fact, I heard them on the Green Bus Line on the way to school,and I heard them said by "der Khazn" (Jewish cantor). My "muter" used them in" der frimorgn" (the morning), "der nokhmitog" (the afternoon), and in "derovnt" (the evening).
So, what "f" words, expressions, and curses did I hear?
CURSES:
"Fransn zol esn zayn layb."(Venereal disease should consume his body.)
"Farshporn zol er oyf (tsu) shteyn?" (Why bother getting up alive?)
"Finstere leyd zol nor di mama oyf im zen." (Black sorrow is all that his mother should see of him.)
EXPRESSIONS:
"Farlorene yorn iz erger vi farlorene gelt." (Lost years are worse than lost dollars.) Note: "farloyrn" is another spelling for the word "lost."
WORDS:
"fusgeyers" The thousands of Jews who fled persecution in Romania in the early 1900s by marching through, and out, of their country.
"farbrengen" Comes from the word "tobring" and implies that you are invited to come and bring a friend or two along; a casual, lively party.
"flikn" To pluck. Scientists at the Hebrew University in Israel have bred a controversial chicken that will not need to be plucked. However, animal welfare groups warned that feathers were important to help protect the birds from parasites--and that the featherless chickens were likely to suffer "zunenbren" (sunburn).
Ernest Hausen of Wisconsin,in 1939, "hand-plucked a chicken in 3.5 seconds"--a record that still stands today. This amazing factwas noted by Ripley's Believe It or Not. Quite a feather in our cap!
"Freudnik" An uncritical acolyte of the father of psychoanalysis.
"fat-shmat" "Zaftik." "Fat-shmat, as long as she's happy."
"frailech" Happy. Tom Cruise must have been "frailech" when he bounced on Oprah Winfrey's "kanape" (couch) proclaiming his love for Katie Holmes. He was"shpringen mit freyd"(leaping with joy!) Others say that he had gone off the deep end...or "arop fun zinen"(out of one's mind).
"farkackt" Beneath contempt. Sheldon Landwehr (New York Post and New York Resident) reviews restaurants. He uses this rating system:
0 stars "Farkackt" 1 star Unremarkable, but acceptable 2 stars Good 3 stars Very good 4 stars Outstanding ("boylit")
"feklempt" Teary eyed. Mike Meyers used to say on Saturday Night Live, you get "all feklempt."
"farpotshket" Fouled up. If you have ever started out with a minor software glitch and, in the course of trying to correct it, wound up completely unable to start your operating system, you have a "farpotshket kompyuter."
"frageh"/" frage" Question. Askmenow.com will answer your questions about hotel recommendations, weather forecasts, or stock quotes by English-speaking employees from a data center in the Philippines (49 cents charge per question). AskYenta.com will answer your questions FREE OF CHARGE.
"fargeltung" To recompense; reward."Di zeyde-bobe" will buy you a"Jacuzzi lifeguard" T-shirt from Abercrombie and Fitch if you get an "A" in Hebrew school.
"feinshmeker" Person with fine taste; elite, hi-falutin' My sister-in-law, Myrna, the "feinshmeker" buys Sara Jessica Parker's new perfume, "Lovely. "I still wear "Shalimar."
"Feh!" Fooey! I wish I could afford the legal team of "Schlepper, Kvetcher, Nebish & Tuches, Schvitzer & Schmutzy, Pischer & Blintzes." (Suggested by Jonathan Safran Foer)
"feinkochen"/"faynkukhn" Omelet, scrambled eggs.
"folg mich! "Obey me... or you'll get a "frassk"-slap in the face.
"fun gornisht kumt" Nothing comes from nothing.
And my favorite "f" word:
"forshpays"/"forshpeiz" Appetizer (chopped liver, gefilte fish, pickled herring, etc.)
