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NEVER FIST BUMP A RABBI...
AND OTHER THOUGHTS ABOUT RABBIS
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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I've noticed that more and more people are giving fist bumps. Could the fist bump be the new peck on "di bak" (the cheek)?
Executives say that fist bumps are exchanged almost exclusively among male business associates, or in informal settings such as at the end of a golf game.
However, before Barack Obama's victory speech on June 3, 2008, he and his wife, Michelle Obama, shared an "varem" (affectionate) exchange, including a "foyst" (fist) bump, followed by a thumbs up.
The fist bump is a type of gesture similar in meaning to a handshake or a high five or nose rub. A bump can also be known as a symbol of giving of "derekh-erets" (respect).
I recently overheard a 12-year-old at Hebrew school say to a classmate, "Hey, Max, NEVER FIST BUMP A RABBI."
Shown below are some fascinating stories about rabbis.
1. Rabbi Paysach Krohn, a certified mohel, wrote saying that naming a son is one of the most important decisions a family will make. He shares a story about a bris that took place years ago on Long Island. The father told the mohel that he was naming his son Justin. Then, he added, "You will neve guess what name I am using as a second name for him." He was right. He named his son, Justin Time.
2. Rabi David Wolpe of Sinai Temple, who had completed chemotherapy for lymphoma, had a few words of advice about visiting the sick:
3. Travel advice from Hasidic rabbis When Israeli Hasidic rabbis Aaron Leib Steiner and Yakov Aryeh Alter (the Gerer rebbe) were planning to visit the U. S., Canada, and South America, they booked the entire first-class ("ersht klas") section of their El Al flight. Their reason: to avoid seeing a female during the flight from Israel. They received a commitment from the company that only male stewards would be used, that no films would be screened and that "the backs of the first class seats will be covered in plastic so that the rabbis won't even have to see the TV screens." 4. Have a sense of humor Rabbi Joseph Telushkin ("Jewish Humor - What The Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews"), wrote:
"A traveler arrives in town and asks the rabbi if he can assemble a minyan (prayer quorum of ten men) so he can say the Kaddish for his dead father. With effort, the rabbi assembled nine, then tells his wife to go out and ask the first man she meets to come and be the tenth man.
It is pouring outside and the rabbi's wife is a mess She sees a man and asks him in (in Yiddish), 'Du vilst zein dem tzenta"?' (Do you want to be the tenth man?)
The man takes one look at her and replies: 'Nit dem ershter afileh.' (I wouldn't even want to be the first.)
5. Be careful in selecting a "dokter" A "shnorrer" is having "harts" (heart) problems and goes to a very expensive "mukkhe" (specialist). When the time comes to pay, the shnorrer says he has no money at all...but with Obama's new health-reform bill, he'll be able to pay at a later date.
"So, why did you come to me?" the "dokter" asks angrily. (He was really "broygez"!) You know I am the most expensive 'dokter' in Miami Beach."
"Because when it comes to my health, the rabbi said I should have only the best."
6. Learn to appreciate ("opshatsn") the rabbi who can deliver a stimulating Jewish sermon ("droshe").
Mitch Albom ("Have A Little Faith - A True Story") writes about the sermons of Reb. Albert Lewis: (Note: The Yiddish term "koshef-makher" was added by the writer.)
"Over the years, those sermons morphed into gripping performances. He spoke with the cues of a magician ("kishef-makher"), moving from one crescendo to the next, mixing in a 'Biblical quotation, a Sinatra song, a vaudeville joke, Yiddish expressions, even calling on occasion, for audience participation ("Can I get a volunteer?"). Anything was fair game. There was a sermon where he pulled up a stool and read Dr. Seuss's Yertle the Turtle. There was a sermon where he sang 'Those Were the Days,' There was a sermon where he brought a squash and a piece of wood, then slammed each with a knife to show that things which grow quickly are often more easily destroyed than those which take a long time.
He might quote Newsweek, Time, the Saturday Evening Post, a Peanuts cartoon, Shakespeare, or the TV show Matlock. He'd sing in English, in Hebrew, in Italian, or in mock Irish accent. - pop songs, folk songs, ancient songs..."
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