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FNGRS LUV 2 TXT MSG GRANDMA

by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
marjorie
Syosset, New York

"Der tselularer telefon" (the cell phone) and text messaging have been making the headlines recently.

Sharon Duke Estroff has written a WONDERFUL book titled, "Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah?"  She writes, "If you want to socialize in style, there's only one way to go--IM, or instant messaging... All kids who instant mesage know the IM language.  They learn it through osmosis. None of their parents know the IM language.  They are still trying to perfect their pig Latin...Worse yet, modern kids-- being the bright, resourceful beings they are--have created an entire branch of IM language devoted to pulling the wool over clueless parents' eyes, such as POS (parent over shoulder), P911 (parent emergency), PAW (parents are watching) and PIR (parents in room)."

Here's a recent conversation between a Long Island "Bobbeh" (grandmother) and an "ainikel" (grandchild):

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bobbeh, it's Amanda."

"Hi.  How are you?  I was just thinking about you"

"Oh, really? Cool.  I'm great.  You?"

"Oh, I'm just fine.  Is that the Jonas Brothers I hear in the background?"

"Yes."

"Did you see Sarah Palin's hair style?  Robin Givhan, Washington Post, said 'The hair, which has been highlighted, teased and scrunched, is a standard-issue, mommy-is- in-a-rush style.'"

"Bad hair day?"

"Listen, dahling, I was thinking it would be fun to go see a B'way show.  We haven't gone out alone since I took you to the American Girl store.  Wanna come?"

"Sure, what'd you have in mind?"

"The B'way musical '13' at Bernard B. Jacobs Theatre."

"What's it about?"

"Graham Phillips, as Evan, is wrenched from happy New York sophistication by divorcing parents and sentenced to have his bar mitzvah in Indiana with his mom.  There are 13 kid performers and a five-piece "kapelye" (band).  In Evan's school there are no guns, no depressed ("dershlogn") kids, no drugs, no racism, and no serious anti- Semitism."

"Oh, I'd love to see that.  When?"

"Don't know.  Hang on, I'll check the TDF offerings. 
(returns) OK.  $76.50 each.  How about Saturday, Nov. 8, 2 p.m.?"

"Sounds like fun!  See you there!"

"No jeans, dahling."           (205 words)

Now, let's look at the same conversation in text-messages:

"Show, Bobbeh?  TUVM."  (Thank you very much.)

"K.  Which?"

"13.  Jacobs."

"Sure.  "

"Nov. 8, 2 p.m."

"Sarah, OMG!" (Oh my God!)

"Re:  Jeans:  Calvin wore 'em; Tommy wore 'em; Ralph wore 'em.  Amanda wears 'em."

"g2g.  hw.  TTFN.  (Gotta go.  Homework. (Ta-ta for now.)      (35 words)

So, what's the problem?

Electronic Devices
Congregants are requested to turn off the audio signals of all electronic devices (cell phones, pagers, etc.)

And, finally,

"Most kids go to sleep with their phone plugged in right by their heads," said Dr. Cora Collette Breuner, a professor of adolescent medicine at the Univ. of Washington.  Every ping of an incoming message is a temptation to pick up the phone.  "They know talking on the phone might wake up their parents, but if they text, it probably won't" says Breuner.

_______
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe says TTFN (Tata for now);  GOS (Grandchildren over shoulder). 

"Luv, Amanda.

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

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