*In Yiddish, the word for rape is "fargvaldikn."  "Nit oyf eich gedacht" means, "It shouldn't happen to you."

Rina Mukherji, writer/poet/journalist (sawf.org) wrote that "Rape is the most brutal expression used by the strong to teach a lesson to the physically or socially weak ("shvakh").  It is a language that can humiliate ("mevayesh zayn") as no other and put down someone perceived as an usurper of the public place which only a male ("zokher") has the right to.  It is the same mentality that has some condemn a woman for having invited bestiality due to the wrong attire, or unseemly behavior

It is the same mindset that targets women at the time of pogroms against a social or political group, during civil strife, and war."

And, fatherqzac wrote about a breakfast "radyo" (radio) program that got into "tsore" (trouble) for inviting a 14-year-old girl to take a lie detector test on air.  When she responded to a question about sexual experience she revealed that she had been raped at age 12.

Fatherqzac says, "There is no defending the stupidity of the radio presenters and producers and they have been widely criticized.  I think we need to be careful, however, about making the girl ("meydl") in question feel she has done something wrong."

Fatherqzac points out that "There should never be any criticism of people who speak about their experience of rape.  There is nothing for this girl to be ashamed ("farshemt") of in a situation that by its very nature was without her consent and took away all power ("koyakh") from her... I've also heard the suggestion that this girl's life is ruined.  I'm not sure if the suggestion was due to the rape or due to the radio show...but either way...may I ask that we not condemn anyone to a ruined life.  Life is, if nothing else, a series of experiences.  Some of them are terrible ("shreklekh"), some of them, like rape, will happen only to a few and will indeed be horrible, with far reaching consequences and long felt pain, but there is hope..." (The Yiddish words were added by Marjorie Wolfe).

In my lectures on "The Bintel Brief"--a bundle of letters--I discuss the fact that for more than 60 years, "The Bintel Brief" was a feature of the Jewish Daily Forverts (Forward).  Almost all of the readers and writers of the column were young, newly arrived immigrants.

One of the most tragic letters, written to Worthy Mr. Editor in 1923, deals with rape. It is taken from "A Bintel Brief - Sixty Years of Letters From the Lower East Side to the Jewish Daily Forward" by Isaac Metzker.

Worthy Mr. Editor,

   I was born in a small town in Russia and my mother brought me up alone, because I had lost my father when I was a child.  My dear mother used all her energies to give me a proper education.

   A pogrom broke out and my mother was the first victim of the blood bath.  They spared no one, and no one was left for me. But that wasn't enough for the murderers, they robbed me of my honor  I begged them to kill me instead, but they let me live to suffer and grieve.

   After that there were long days and nights of loneliness and grief.  I was alone, despondent and homeless, until relatives in America brought me over.  But my wounded heart found no cure here either.  Here I am lonely, too, and no one cares.  I am dejected, without a ray of hope, because all my former dreams for the future are shattered.

   A few months ago, however, I met a young man, a refined and decent man.  It didn't take long before we fell in love.  He has already proposed marriage and he is now waiting for my answer.

   I want to marry this man, but I keep putting off giving him an answer because I can't tell him the secret that weighs on my heart and bothers my conscience.  I have no rest and am almost going out of my mind When my friend comes to hear my answer, I want to tell him everything.  Let him know all; I've bottled up the pain inside me long enough.  Let him hear all and then decide.  But I have no words and can tell him nothing.

   I hope you will answer and advise me what I can do.
                           I thank you,
                           A reader

What answer did the editor at The Forward supply?

--------------------------------------------
   In the pogroms, in the great Jewish disasters, this misfortune befell many Jewish girls like you.  But you must not feel guilty and not be so dejected, because you are innocent. A man who can understand and sympathize can be told everything If your friend is one of these people and he really loves you, he will cherish you even after he learns your secret.

   Since we do not know your friend, it is hard for me to advise you whether to tell him everything now, or not.  In this matter you must take more responsiblity on yourself.  You know the man, and you must know, more or less, if he will be able to understand.

---------------------------------------------
   How relevant is the rape problem today?
We have had the Duke case, Kobe Bryant's "acquaintance" rape case,  the Kennedy Smith case, and the fact that Latino women and girls in the U. S. face an epidemic of rape in the workplace.

   Rape is still one of the most underreported crimes,  61% of rapes and sexual assaults are not reported.