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MY HUSBAND'S NAME IS......
"IKH FARGESN"*
*The Yiddish words "ikh fargesn" means, "I forgot."
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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A once great "aktyor" (actor) could no longer remember lines, but an old director friend wanted to give him one more chance. "Jonah, this part has only one line: You walk on stage carrying a "royz" (rose), hold it to your nose with your finger and thumb, sniff it deeply, and say, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
Jonah was thrilled. He practiced his line over and over again until finally it was opening "nakht" (night). The curtain rose, Jonah walked on stage and wtih great passion delivered his line perfectly and with great inflection. "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theatre erupted with laughter ("gelekhter"). The director was steaming mad! "You bloody fool!" he cried.
Jonah was bewildered. "What happened? Did I mess up my line?"
"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the roses."
Well, for someone who knows or cares for an Alzheimer's patient, there is little humor in the above-mentioned joke. Every 72 seconds someone develops Alzheimer's, a degenerative and terminal disease for which there is currently no known cure.
In its most common form, it occurs in people over 65 years old. A less-prevalent early-onset form also exists. The disease can begin many years before it is eventually diagnosed. In its early stages, short-term "zikorn" (memory) loss is the most "geveyntlekh" (common) symptom, often initially thought to be caused by aging or stress by the sufferer. Later symptoms include confusion ("tsemishung"), anger ("kaas"), mood swings, language breakdowns, and a general withdrawal of the sufferer as other senses decline.
Ronald Reagan died at 93 from pneumonia complicated by the Alzheimer's disease that progressingly clouded his mind. According to Tom Friedman ("1,000 unforgettable Senior Moments"), "President Ronald Reagan's senior moments were legendary. He often forgot what foreign country he was in or the name of the dignitary he was meeting. When he visited Brazil, he referred to it as Bolivia. He greeted Princess Diana as "Princess David"; at a conference of mayors once introduced himself to Samuel Pierce, the only African-American member of his cabinet, who he thought was the mayor of some American city; and called President Samuel Doe of Liberia "Chairman Moe."
On Oct. 28, 2009, Roger Waters performed at the 2009 Rita Hayworth Gala to honour the legendary actress, who died as a result of Alzheimer's disease, and to honour all those suffering from the disease. Over the years, these special events have raised over $53 million for the care, suport and research of the Alzheimer's Association.
Waters sang, "Wish You Were Here" tonight, which may be about Alzheimer's. Roger Waters, when asked about the song, said, "I don't have to explain my songs to you! I wrote it around the time my grandmother died. She spent her last years at my mother's house, and when I visited, she would look at me with an anguished expression and go, 'Robert!' Robert was her husband, who had been dead for twenty years. It was very tortured and moving."
The song, "Silent House" is about the house where Dixie Chick Natalie Maines' grand- mother used to live. Her grandmother had Alzheimer's disease and the song is about memories of her triggered by walking through the house. Some of the lyrics by Dixie Chicks are as follows:
...And I will try to connect
all the pieces you left
I will carry it on
And let you forget
And I'll remember the years
When your mind was clear
How the laughter and life
Filled up this silent house...
That brings us to a book titled, "Dear Bubby - With Love" by Rosalie Avigdor. This 44-page book is dedicated to all the grandchildren who have ever experienced the unconditional love of a grandparent (a zeyde-bobe). Yes, Bubby started showing signs of Alzheimer's Disease.
Rosalie writes, "My mother was a wonderful grandmother and as upsetting as it was for us to watch the changes, we think about how difficult it must be for her and many others like her who face confusion on a daily basis."
Granddaughter, Shoshana, corresponds with Bubby from sleep-away camp. While Shoshana writes about her bunk, her friends, her "significant other," Ezra, and the friendship ring he gave her, Bubby writes about "something being burned in the stove," her lost key to the house, and her inability to remember if she took her pills or ate lunch.
Upon returning home from camp, Bubby patted Shoshana's head and told her that she reminded her of her granddaughter, who she wished would visit more often.
Shoshana concludes by saying, "It's okay to be different. It's sad and upsetting to watch, but we have to be there to show love because it penetrates the isolation of memory loss. Love of family, touch, and hugs are so important...Take care Bubby-- we love you."
This wonderful book is available from
Fifth Page Publishing
5656 Sherbrooke west
Suite 4
Montreal (Quebec)
H4A 1W7
ISBN: 0-9687870-0-2
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