GO TO THE MOVIES...AND THEN
ESS, ESS/EAT EAT
by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

While waiting on line at the Hicksville (NY) B'way Multiplex Cinemas to see "Julie & Julia," starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams, I overheard several interesting conversations:

(conversation 1)
"Remember the story about the Jewish woman who always cut off the end of a roast beef before putting it into the "skovrode" (pan) to cook?  One day her husband asked why she did it.  She replied, "I don't know.  My mother always did it that way."  So she called mom and asked why she always cut off the end of the roast before cooking.  Her response was "poshet" (simple):  "Because my roasting pan was too small."

(conversation 2)
"Did you know that Julia Child's kitchen was located on Cambridge Street, a block from Harvard's creative writing and women's studies departments?  It was described as 'a comfortable old-shoe of a kitchen.'  Its painted-glass-fronted cabinets were schoolroom green.  It had a long butcher- block counter, and it was Julia Child's height.  Two magnetic strips hold 28 knives, all of them properly sharp.  The pegboard walls support 62 pots and pans, most "kuper" (copper), with a few "ayzn" (iron) pans in rare shapes and sizes.  A half dozen pairs of shears, 8 magnificent rolling pins, (one crenulated, for puff "gebeks" (pastry), two scales, three fish molds, a doughnut cutter, a corn-slick pan and a heart-shaped mold.  Yes, her 'kikh' (kitchen) was both "eng" (crowded) and orderly."

(conversation 3)
Julia Child said, "All my mother knew how to cook was baking powder biscuits, codfish balls and Welsh rarebit."

(conversation 4)
"Julia Child's joie de vivre was her ability to explain techniques, and what-me-worry approach to mistakes made serious cooking fun."

For many years, New York Magazine's Mary Ann Madden, offered her readers an opportunity to enter"vort" (word) competitions.  In some cases, the reader was asked to provide fanciful definitions for words beginning with a particular letter of the alphabet.  In others, the reader supplied original REDEFINITIONS for familiar foreign phrases.  One example:  "salto mortale" - sodium kills.

Nora Ephron, Julia Child, Meryl Streep, Julia Powell, Stanley Tucci (Paul), and all of the students at the Cordon Blue cooking school would have loved these humorous food-related words:

• "Sotheby Park Bearnaise":
  Julia Child's favorite auction house. 
  (submitted by Mark-Elliot Lugo)
  
  
• "Zabar":
  King of the kosher elephants 
  (Bruce Sinclair)
  
  
• "The right stuff"
  Favorite side dish of the astronauts
  (Jeff Brawer)
  
  
• "Casanovaltine"
  Hot chocolate for the womanizing man
  (Allya Freeman)
  
  
• "Ralphalon"
  Man-sized cookware for guys who eat too much
  (Suzie Bolotin)
  
  
• "Okra"
  A green or inexperienced talk-show host
  (Rita Shefsky)
  
  
• "Taco Bell"
  A Mexican telecommunications giant
  (Jim Wittenbrook)
  
  
• "Dumpling"
  1.  A very small landfill
  2.  junk food
  (Ingor Pettygrove/Jeannine Cruz)
  
  
• "Bon Mot"
  Homemade applesauce
  (Thomas Maloney)
  
  
• "Acouscoustics"
  Sounds from a Moroccan kitchen
  (Elaine Stallworth)
  
  
• "Altar eggo"
  Wedding breakfast
  
  
• "Amishmosh"
  Puree of assorted vegetables from Pennsylvania
  (Anthony Gray)
  
  
• "Abrieviate"
  To slice cheese
  (Jan Leary)
  
  
• "au courant"
  With raisins
  (Collier W. Hoffman)
  
  
• "Slalami"
  Skifood (see also Schusskabob)
  (Jacob Komishane)
  
  
• "pseudough"
  Batter made with artificial flour
  (Bertha Coultier)
  
  
• "Agnes De Meal"
  Dancer/Choreographer, "Paint Your Chuck Wagon"
  (Jill Shea)
  
  
• "Big" Macbeth
  Fast-food king who killed his competition, Duncan Donuts
  (Physics Bldg., SUNY, ALBANY, NY)
  
  
• "Minimealist"
  Gourmet chef
  (Marianna Lancaster)
  
  
• "Polonaise"
  Salad dressing by Ralph Lauren
  (Toni Regan)
  
  
• "Valhalla"
  A loaf of bread in the shape of a heart
  (William A. Baker)

And my favorite:

• Lady "Fingers" Macbeth--his wife, pastry chef, and aroma therapist
  (Physics Bldg. SUNY, ALBANY, NY)
  

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:

"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!