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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Shown below is an alphabetical glossary of educational terms in current use:
Academentia
Disorder affecting absent-minded professors.
(Michael Ronan)
A "shrunken nisht in
harts"
(Yiddish) for a stab in the heart caused
by the fact that you sent your son to college to become a doctor and he
comes home and tells you he wants to be a hairdresser. (Jackie Mason)
Audio-Visually Qualified
A teacher who is able to set the VCR timer
and will do so rather than watch 12:00 blink incessantly.
BAMAMA
An overqualified, degree-heavy person. (Ellen
Goodman descried a friend with one MA and two BAs as a "BAMAMA.)
Barney
A nerd.
B+ stampeded
Rich Hall & Friends Sniglet meaning
"the attempt by half the classroom to claim the paper with no name on it."
Behavior Modfications inforcers
Lollipops
Biblio-osmosis
Students sleeping near books seem to absorb
the books' contents.
Bright loafers
Kinder without the energy, interest, or
sense of urgency to do schoolwork; children whose parents always have to
ask, "Have you done your homework?"
Bygology
Those amazing bits of discovery to which
students react by saying "Wow! That Ken Jennings (Jeopardy) knew the character
known as Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise
Diggs!"
Big Bang
(literary theory) Only full bookcarts tip
over.
Bus driver
Certified Adolescent Transportation Specialist
Cafe Fearia
Growing concern over food-borne illnesses
that are spread through school cafeterias (Faith Pocorn)
Car schooling
Educating or instructing a child while driving
a car. (Diane Flynn Keith)
Cheder
Jewish elementary school
According to Kenneth Libo and Irving Howe, "A cheder in America often started
out as nothing more than a place over someone's store or in a basement where
an ill-paid, overworked, and untrained
melamed (teacher) taught a bunch of restless kids just enough ivre (Hebrew)
to get through their bar mitzvahs and say Kaddish (prayer for the dead).
Chivas Regal Argument
Parents and students who tend to associate
quality with price, hence the "Chivas Regal argument" for increased tuition
costs. "Narishkeit" (foolishness)
Cold-Sweat Law
Learning style theory which does not apply
in classrooms that are either too "hays" (hot) or too "kahlt" (cold).
Crayola
Area where kindergarten ("kinder-gortn")
drawings are displayed. (Rich Hall Sniglet)
Cross-Age Tutoring
The older kids are allowed to help the younger
ones.
Conushelled
The condition a "kinder-gortn's" apers are
in when they are brought "heym" (home)
Detention
In-school uspension. One "melamed" (teacher)
forced students in detention to listen to Frank Sinatra records. This teacher
was obviously "feinshmeker" -- a person with fine taste.
Disaster Drills
In some school districts, SWAT teams have
staged sieges and photocopied school layouts to prepare for the "ergst" (worst).
Dontopedology
The art of opening your "moyl" (mouth) and
putting your foot into it.
Education
When di tate-mame (parents) get when they
talk to a teenage "maideleh" and "boytshik."
Elective Course
Courses that students may "elect" to take
for credit toward their intended degrees. In 1996, Stetson University offered
a course titled, "My Rabbi Is Pregnant - The Role of Women In Church and
Synagogue."
Ergonomic Book Bag
Overstuffed, spine-compressing backpacks
are being replaced with ergonomic bookbags, which helps redistribute the
weight of all those "bukhs" (books).
Genius
A 4th gader at a Solomon Schechter Day School/Hillel
School who can pronounce--and spell-- the Yiddish words "farblonzhet" (confused,
lost) and "oysgefinen" (to learn, to discover).
Gifted Child
A nice kid who comes to school already reading,
catches on quickly and looks "brilyant" (brilliant). Florence Miler says
that "a gifted child often brings pretty shells from Sanibel Island (FL)
for the science corner."
Gourmet Parent
One who would have toddlers studying Russian,
claim their children would rather be at the National Gallery of Art than
Disneyworld, and would opt for a nutritional lentil soup over a 7-Eleven
one-third pound Cheeseburger Big Bite.
Grade Inflation
Practice resulting in a rise in the proportion
of higher grades given to students in courses for satisfying less rigorous
standards than in preceding years.
Graphomotor representation
Lousy handwriting.
Guidance
The late Sam Levenson's first guidance challenge
occurred when a young girl told him that her friend was "in trouble." (He
knew that although her friend had never learned to add, she had somehow
learned to multiply.)
Hippy
Home Instruction Program for Preschool Youngsters.
Human Kinetics
" Oy-robics"/ Physical education As Vicki
Gold, physical therapist and fitness advisor would say, "Men shteyt, men
geyt" (Get Up and Get Moving).
Hypoprosexia
An abnormally short attention span.
Idea hamsters
People/students who always seem to have
their idea generators running.
Impedimentum memoriae
Latin medical name for a mental block that
makes it hard for teachers to rememer the names of the 32 children in his/her
class. (This is often the case when each classroom has seven boys named "Max.")
Lake Wobegon Effect
Lake Wobegon is the mythical village created
by Garrison Keillor, where the women are strong, the men are good looking,
and "all the children are above average."
Lapjacking
The stealing of unattended laptop computers
Library
Media center
MACS
Mothers Against Contact Sports
Math anxiety
An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching
each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph. (Rick Bayan)
McFly
A person with no intelligence. (From the
movie, "Back to the Future")
McPaper
Shoddy essay hurriedly written.
Mobile attendance module
Schoolbus, according to a Peanuts cartoon.
Montessoria
Term for "the disease where a child is smarter
than either parent and grows more so each day." (Flowers & Schwartz)
Mozart Effect
Students who listen to Mozart's music seem
to retain information more readily and get higher test scores.
New Age Report Card
Psycho-Social evaluation abble, in which
NO CHILD FAILS. This keeps the parents and teachers and school board and
taxpayers happy. The late Albert Shanker described it as a "long sheet
of paper that looked like an application for a mortgage. It had so many
small squares, check marks, pluses, and Xes, that one would need a Guide
for the Perplexed."
No Child Left Behind Act
Vows to free "children trapped in schools
that will not teach."
Noncaptive lunch
Students who are permitted to eat off campus. "Ess gezunterhait!"
Pablum
Writing or speaking that is soft, bland,
and oversimplified.
Peter Pan Syndrome
Youngsters who just don't want to grow up.
They haven't learned that schoolwork is called work because it's not play.
Power Playschool
The place "where a child first learns to
stick it to the competition." (Betty Heinze)
Psychology
Yiddishe Saichel
Redshirting
If a child's birthday comes after early
spring, a parent may consider holding back the child a year to make him
one of the oldest in the class, hoping to give him an academic boost.
Remediators
Thosr who teach remedial courses at the
university level. "Oy, Oy, Oy, mir hoben eyntsore" (Oy, Oy, Oy, we have
a problem.)
RIF
Reading Is Fundamental
Student-lead conference
A Canadian movement gaining support in the
U.S.-- after all, the child is the expert on his/her own learning and his/her
voice needs to be heard in asessment conferences.
Summe Cum Laude
A June graduation accompanied by thunder.
(Norman Dvoskin)
Team Xerox
Copying someone else's work on an exam.
Television's Contribution to Education
(caption) "But, Mom, it's not my fault.
The teacher wouldn't let me use any of my lifelines. I couldn't poll the
class, phone-a-friend, or use a 50-50." (Richard G. Williams, cartoon explaining
his poor test results)
Terminal Excess
Students who fail or do poorly because of
abusive patterns of the Internet. (They spend too much time communicating
via the Internet.)
Terrific "T" seat
The front row or one of the middle seats,
which catch the teacher's eye. (Jacqueline Sadker)
Unwritten Rule of Contact with Children
At day care centers and schools across the
U. S., teachers and aids are learning the new unwritten rule of contact
with children: "Do not hug, kiss, lift, stroke, offer your lap, rub the
back, tuck in the shirt, pat the hair, or be in any way physical with a
student."
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