the schmooze


*In Yiddish, a "shtele" is a job

Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York

On 6/19/2000, Rosalind Clark wrote the following letter to the Metro column of The New York Times: Dear Diary:
   When I was 18, I got my first job, at the Woolworth Building at 233 Broadway at Park Place.  My salary was $10 a week and I worked as a file clerk on the 10th floor. I lived with my parents and eight brothers and sisters in a tenement in Brooklyn and we had just the bare necessities of life. Each day as I entered the Woolworth Building I stood in amazement, admiring the mosaic ceiling and the beautiful woodwork.    Recently, at the age of 88, I again came to the Woolworth Building, this time with a different reaction--much pride and a full heart.  My eldest son, Bruce Clark, a lawyer, occupies the entire 36th floor.

What's your dream job?  A mohel?  A mezuze examiner?  An "khezhbn-firer?
(accountant)  A "apteyker"? (pharmacist)
A "dokter"? (Your mother will kvell!) A "komi-voyazhor"?  (traveling salesman)

Shown below is the Yiddish version of a SIMILAR  quiz offered by, part of the ecrush network.

Before we start this "Dream Job Quiz," do you agree that there are 6 seasons of the "yor" (year)?  "vinter," "friling" (spring), "zumer," "harbst" (autumn), slack and busy?
.  agree
.  disagree

1.  What's your philosophy?
.  "Dress British, Think Yiddish"
.  "Jesus Saves, Moses Invests"
.  "Sell Rosh Hashanah, Buy Yom Kippur"
.  Smile and say "schmaltz"
.  If you want something, you have to work
  for it.
  ("Gebroteneh teibelech fli'em nit in moil

2.  What was your best subject in "di    mitlshul" (high school)?
.  "kunst" (art)
.  "visnshaft" (science)
.  physical ed (gym)
.  "geshikhte" (history/social studies)
.  "heym economics" (home economics)
.  math
.  recess

3.  Which would you rather do?
.  "zetsn zikh" (sit down)
.  "oyfshteln zikh" (stand up)
.  run around
.  'shpatsirn" (take a walk for the enjoyment
  of the walk)

4.  How important is raking in the "groys"
     (big) bucks?
.  Super important.  "Vos gikher, alts beser." (The faster, the better.)
.  Pretty important
.  A "bisl" (little, not much)
.  Yes.  "Oyf gelt shteyt di velt." (Money supports the world.)
.  Important.  Money buys everything except brains.  ("Far gelt bakumt men alts, nor kain saichel nit.")
.   Not important, as long as I'm doing what I like.

5.  Do you want to be "barimt" (famous)?
.  Yes, Yes, Yes!  ("Yo, Yo, Yo.")
.  Um, sure.
.  It would be cool, but it's not a priority or
.  Psh.  Who cares?
.  Don't ask me any questions. ("Freg mir nit keyn kashes.")

6.  When there's a project to do, you'd   rather
.  Work in a group
.  Do the whole thing on my own
.  Have a small team of "mavens" (experts) do it for me

7.  What do you want to do after high school?

8.  Which would you rather win?

9.  Which do you prefer?

10. Which reality competition or program would you totally nail?

11. When were you born?

12.  What magazines do you read?

13.  Michael Bloomberg, mayor of NYC, doesn't believe in job titles.  What do YOU think about job titles?

14.  Which job title really causes you to lakhn" (laugh)?

Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is a retired business educator.  She is also the author
of two books:  "Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" ($13 plus $3.50 postage/handling) and "Are Yentas, Kibitzers, &
Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?
Yiddish Trivia" ($12, plus $3.50 postage and handling.  To order:  contact her at
19 Market Drive, Syosset, NY  11791.


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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

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