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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Dr. Ruth Westheimer, 82, is still America's
most popular sex therapist. She'continues to write books and give lectures.
Shown below is a Yiddish guide to this remarkable woman:
"aktsent" (accent)
Dr. Ruth explains that her most distinguishing feature is her pronounced
German accent.
"Henry Kissinger and I always argue over this point. He says my accent is stronger than his. But that isn't true: His accent is more pronounced than mine. For my radio shows, my accent was actually a big advantage: whenever you turned on the radio, you knew immediately that it was me speaking. I couldn't be mistaken for anyone else."
"chutzpah" (nerve)
"I don't know how many of you are familiar
with the Jewish word chutzah, but it's a word you should familiarize yourself with.
To live life to the fullest you have the chutzpah to accept challenges. You don't need nerves of steel. I'm not saying that
sometimes you won't be shaking in your
boots after accepting some major challenge. But you can't let that stop you.
It really is better to fail than not to try,
because if you never try, you'll never succeed. And as bad as failure feels, success
feels so much better."
(to graduates at Trinity College Univ.,
May 16, 2004)
"dervisn zikh" (to learn/to find out)
How did Dr. Ruth learn about sex? She
was about 10, and her parents kept a
marriage manual in a locked cabinet way
up high. She had to pile books on top of
a chair to reach it, so she literally risked
her neck to learn the facts of life.
"eytse" (advice)
"If he says, 'I don't have any condoms,' you
say, 'Guess what? I do.'"
"fargvaldikn" (to rape)
[regarding date rape]
"My advice to any young woman who wants
to avoid date rape is to watch your step--
stay in control. Don't drink to excess and be sure to give clear signals about how far you want to go before you and your partner come to a stopping point. If you you get a man too excited, he may not be able to control himself. That has nothing to do with the law, but rather with human nature."
Dr. Ruth Quote
"fregn" (to question)
Dr. Ruth was asked, "After 9/11, a lot of people rushed into relationships, while
others began to see sex as frivolous compared to world problems."
She replied, "The awareness after a tragedy (or after a war) of the importance of having a relationship, the importance of having a significant other in your life, certainly becomes visible. Sex is a wonderful, wonderful activity, and that is what it should remain. People should make time for sex and to help the world."
When asked, "What is something you think would surprise those who only see you as a preeminent sex expert?"
Her reply, "The first thing that will surprise them is that I was a sniper in the Haganah, before there was an Israeli defense force." (Dr. Ruth never killed anyone, but she was badly wounded.) Source: The Harvard Crimson, 3/7/07 "15 Questions with Dr. Ruth"
"heykh" (height)
Dr. Ruth is 4 foot 7 inches tall.
Yes, "big things come in small packages!"
"khasene" (marriage)
Dr. Ruth has been married three times
Her first marriage was to a young man from
the kibbutz named David. They were divorced in 1955.
"kinder transport" - train
Dr. Ruth's 1997 book, "All in a Lifetime:
An Autobiography" with Ben Yagoda, is
jam-packed with fascinating details about
her remarkable life, both before and after
she became America's most popular sex
therapist. The book starts in Frankfurt,
Germany, in 1939, when as a 10-year-old
she boarded a "kinder transport" train for
Switzerland with dozens of other German-
Jewish children, never to see her parents
or grandmother again. She entered a school for German-Jewish orphans in Switzerland.
"kindhayt" (childhood)
"Before the rise of the Nazis I had a wonderful childhood. I didn't know what
was in store for me. I took those days for
granted. So the biggest mistake you can make is to be complacent and to think that
you have lots of extra time on your hands.
You might, but you also might not. A crisis could hit you at any moment."
(graduation speech)
"kinder-gortn" (kindergarten)
Dr. Ruth was a kindergarten teacher in
Israel and Paris, France.
"lernen" (to study)
When Dr. Ruth was in a boarding school in
Switzerland, she often dreamed of the day when she would earn a degree. But in that
school she wasn't allowed to study book learning. The German boys were, but the
girls had to study housekeeping. "Cleaning
bathtubs and toilets was not a skill that I
thought one needed to go to school to learn." (quote by Dr. Ruth)
"The Nazis hadn't wanted me to live. The Swiss hadn't wanted me to get a higher education. No wonder then, that when that doctorate in education was placed into my hand it made me feel ten feet tall. And while to most people ten feet tall is an expression, for me it's twice my height."
"nartlen zikh" (to ski)
In early 1961, Dr. Ruth went skiing in the Catskills with friends and shared the ski lift
with a diminutive friend of these friends,
one Manfred Westheimer. A longtime
matchmaker herself, Ruth called a friend
immediately and announced, "I found the
guy that I'm going to marry." When her
friend replied, "How can you say that?" you
just met him," Ruth replied, "We'll just see."
They were married on Dec. 16, 1961. (He
has since passed away.)
"nomen" (name)
Dr. Ruth was named Karola Ruth Siegel.
As was the custom with Jews entering their
new state [Israel], she changed her name to
Ruth, her middle name, while retaining
Karola as her new middle-name.
"zekhtsn" (16)
At sixteen, Karola Siegel emigrated to Israel, where she traded her "too German"
Karola for her middle name, Ruth, and began a quest for an education that led her to the Sorbonne and to New York.
education Dr. Ruth received a doctorate from Columbia University Teachers College and a certificate as a psychosexual therapist from Cornell.
"nudnik" (pest)
Dr. Ruth said that older folks don't want to
be repeatedly asked, "Are you okay?" and
"Are you happy?"
"onvayzn" (to instruct)
"You don't come from Victorian England
when mothers would instruct their
about-to-be-wed daughters to just "lie
back and think of England."
"katastrofe" (catastrophe)
Henry Alford told Dr. Ruth, "When I was
single, I went through a period when partners would check their e-mail directly
after sex." Dr. Ruth responded, "catastrophe!"
romance
"The time spent thinking about romance
reaps dividends, maybe not every day, but
certainly in the long run."
(Dr. Ruth quote)
"sod" (secret)
"If, when you are making love, you fantasize
that you're actually in the arms of Halle
Berry or Brad Pitt, don't tell your partner
that, either."
(Dr. Ruth quote)
"tate-mame"
Dr. Ruth's parents were Irma and Julius
Siegel.
"bukh" (book) dedication
In Dr. Ruth's book, "Sex For Dummies,"
the dedication page reads as follows:
"To the memory of my entire family who perished during the Holocaust--I am thankful that they had the opportunity to instill in me the much cherished values of the Jewish Tradition before they were lost to me. And to the memory of my beloved late husband, Manfred Westheimer.
"kinderlekh" (children)
Dr. Westheimer has a daughter, Miriam
Westheimer, a son, Joel Westheimer,
granddaughter, Leora Einleger, and two grandsons, Benjamin Westheimer and Michael Leckie.
"tsherepakhe" (turtle)
"My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to
move it has to stick its neck out. There are
going to be times in your life when you're
goingto have to stick your neck out. There
will be challenges and instead of hiding in a
shell, you have to go out and meet them."
(Dr. Ruth quote)
"zikh" (myself)
"The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex. For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself."
(Dr. Ruth quote)
--------------------------------------------
Marjorie Wolfe wonders what Dr. Ruth
would have to say about the following true
story: When Carol Burnett was doing the
opening question and answers for "The
Carol Burnett show," the questions got
funny. Yes, someone always wanted her to
do her trademark Tarzan yell. But one
day someone asked her, "What has been
your most embarrassing question?" Thinking for a moment she replied, "I think
my most embarrassing question was whether or not I had a sex change."
(Laughter) "Yep, I think that takes the cake." (Pointing to another audience member) Yes? The question: "Did you?"
(Much laugter) NEXT QUESTION.....
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