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SINGLES ONCE MET AT GARFIELD’S
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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A recent cartoon showing two women speaking together had the following caption:
WE MET THROUGH A COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, WHICH
SHOWS THAT COMPUTERS CAN MAKE MISTAKES, TOO.
The online dating scene is crowded ("eng"). It's the eBay of dating. Today we have Jewish women with the following profile:
GORGEOUS, TRIM, BLOND, HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL, EXTREMELY
INTELLIGENT, AND AMAZINGLY MODEST SP (SINGLE PIG) LOOKING
FOR SF (SINGLE FROG) WITH Ph.D. in L.O.V.E. with MG, CDs AND LOTS
OF SHARES OF IBM. SEND PHOTO OF MG.
And we have books titled, "Miss Piggy's Rules - Swine-tested Secrets for Catching Mr. Right, Keeping Him and Throwing Him Back When You've Had Enough" as told to Louise Gikow and Jim Lewis."
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is sick of the dating scene. He rants that Jewish singles place utmost importance on superficial values--such as looks and money-- when seeking a lifelong mate. In an effort to remedy the situation and help lonesome ("elnt") singles everywhere find their basherts (destined), he has launched a dating Web site, www.loveprophet.com. He hopes the site will bring a "human aspect" to online dating.
In addition to JDate, there are many non-traditional dating sights.
Darwindating.com - They accept only good-looking ("sheyn") members. The site promises no ugly ("mies"), unattractive, desperate fatsos."
Largefriends.com - A networking site where plus-size ("zaftik"/"zaftig") singles can form friendships and relationships.
Trekpassions.com - This site builds relationships that "live long and prosper"
("matsliakh zayn gedayen").Fans of Star Trek, Star War, and Isaac Asimov can plan to meet at the next convention.Nerds at Heart ("harts") - "The people are better looking than you'd expect," says co-founder, Bathsheba Birman.
SawYouAtSinai - Matchmaking with Orthodox Jewish people. It is rabbinically endorsed by Robbonoim.Over 1,100 members married.
farmersonly.com - This website matches single farmers...and city slickers looking for a roll in the hay. :-) The men on this site know the difference between tractors and combines.If you're looking for a man with mud on his boots, this is site for
you.If the farmer breaks a date, it may be on account of a sick steer!happybubbe.com - This site was launched in January of 2013. Bubbe says,
"Clean Your Plate and Get a Date...""Make sure he's cut before you try him on for size."
It's 100% FREE! THEY ASK, "WHAT JEW DOIN - LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT, NOT MR. TONIGHT?
Jeanie Nobile and Garrett Morgan ("Love,Take 2") wrote, "A restaurant and a sit-down for a first meeting is a little risky anyway you look at it.You just set eyes on each other, you smiled, you shook hands, you don't even know the person and you are going to sit down and have a full meal? How does that lettuce in her teeth look?" (Source: LIPulse.com)
In Harry Golden's 1972 book, "The Greatest Jewish City in the World"), he writes about Brooklyn's eating establishments:Dubrow's and Garfield's.The sign on Garfield's read: THE CAFETERIA OF REFINEMENT: ESTABLISHED 1912.
Who ate at Garfield's? High school students from Erasmus Hall High School.
And the "deep-down faithful population of Garfield's were the old Jewish ladies and
the old Jewish men, for whom the faded glories of the once-glittering cafeteria
are a home away from home." Yes, the old men would shmooze there and the
old ladies would doze at Garfield's.
Harry Golden writes, "In recent years, Garfield's has become a hunting ground for
Jewish widows seeking new husbands. "Can I borrow your horseradish?" a little
old lady asks shyly of a middle-aged customer who has just seated himself with a
cup of coffee to enjoy a solitary half hour.The question seems innocent, but watch
out. It conceals a deadly intention. Good-bye solitary coffee sessions in the
cafeteria! Another famous romantic ploy is to hang around the self-service food
line and wait until a likely looking prospect comes along. Many an unsuspecting old
bachelor or widower has been caught off guard at the bagel counter. By the time he
reaches the chopped liver he is holding hands. When he gets to the chicken soup,
he's a goner. By the time he reaches the cheese blintzes, they're engaged. The
cashier could easily double (but does not at this writing) as a justice of the peace."
A final piece of advice from Marisa Cohen (The Glamour List, "Blind-Date Dud Decoder," Glamour magazine, May 1999):
"Meet for coffee in a public place where a friend can ‘just happen to
stop by.'"
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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe's favorite tale about blind dates was told by Rodney
Dangerfield.
"My first date. I waited on the corner until this girl walked by. I said, "Are you Linda?"She said, "Are you Rodney?"I said, "Yeah. "She said, "I'm not Linda."
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