Being a rather outgoing individual, I said to the father, "You appear to be very "frailech" (happy) today."

"I sure am," he quickly replied.  "We've invested $56,000 in Matthew's education and he's the "ershter" (first) one in our family to graduate from college."

"Di muzik" from Pomp and Circumstance could be heard in the background as the procession began.

"Which one in line is Matthew?" I asked.

"He's not here," the father replied.  "He returned to his dorm when Jared started to make the commencement speech."

"Is that Jared, the Jeweler, Jared Diamond, professor of physiology at the UCLA School of Medicine, or U. S. Representative, Jared Huffman?"

(Jared is a proper name that is a very common first name (in various Western countries) of Biblical derivation, etymologically from the Hebrew language, and one of the names by which Moses was known.  Translated it means "descent.")

"None of the above," he said.  It's Jared, The Subway Guy.  You know, the 6' 2" guy who is known for his significant weight loss, attributed to eating Subway sandwiches. In his junior year at North Central H. S., Fogle's weight was 425 lbs., and he said he wore size 6 XL shirts."

"Didn't Jared say that he would retire his old pair of 62-inch pants likely to a museum after a final 'Tour de Pants,' a humorous reference to the Tour de France?" I asked.

"Yes, that's him--Jared S. Fogle!"

"It's a pity that Matt isn't here.  I guess you're both a bit 'dershlogn' (depressed)."

"Not at all.  He's what we call--in Yiddish--a 'kochleffel'--someone who stirs up trouble. He originally planned to walk up to the podium carrying a huge sign which read:

    THIS GRADUATE LOST 200 LBS.
    BY GETTING A HAIRCUT:
    MY FATHER GOT OFF MY BACK.

"So, you were spared the embarrassmen?," I asked.

"Yes.  By the way, our other son, Jon, is graduating from high school, and guess who is delivering HIS  commencement address?"

"Who?" I asked, with curiosity.