the schmooze
*The Yiddish word for God is "got"
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York

In "gut" (good) times and "shlekht" (bad)
times people write, think about, and talk
with "got."

"Got" is in the news...again.

"Sarah Palin:  God Wrote Notes On His
Hand, Too."

"God is present amid suffering in Haiti"

"Jon Stewart is God"

"God #10 - Children rank God #10, just
ahead of bad food"

"Does God Want You To Be Rich ("Raykh")?"

When the media first challenged Sarah Palin's need to write her core beliefs on her "hant" (hand) to remember them, she replied, "I didn't really have a good answer, as so often--is me.  But then somebody sent me the other day, Isaiah 49:16, and you need to go home and look it up.  Before you look it up, I'll tell you what is says though.  It says, hey, if it was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it's good enough for me, for us.  He says, in that passage, 'I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you,' and I'm like 'Okay, I'm in good company.'"

Of course, the Bible didn't mention using "shtendik" (permanent) markers.  Before invoking God, Palin tried to explain away the hand notes by calling them "a poor man's teleprompter."  (She claimed that she got the idea from her schoolteacher, father, who she said would "read the palm of his hand to see what, you know, was on tap first for the curriculum the next day.")

"Der kinder" (The children) also communicate with "Got."  One little "meydl" (girl) said,

"Dear God, I wished on a star two times, but nothing happened.  Now what?
             [singed]   Anna

Comedian, Don Rickles ("Rickles' Letters")

Dear God,

     I love you and I respect you so I'm not about to get cute with the wisecracks. 
Besides, at eighty-two that could be shaky.

     Look what you've done for me.  A beautiful wife, children, grandchildren, and loving friends.  The sense of humor you've given me has taken me a long way.  Who would have thought there was money in telling a guy in a Vegas audience, 'Take off your hat, it's not a Jewish holiday.'

     Thinking along those lines, is there any chance of getting me better seats for the High Holidays?  Either way, I'll be there."
             Love,       Don

And David M. Bader ("Haikus for Jews"), has something to say to God:

            Yom Kippur - forgive
            me, God, for the Mercedes
            And all the lobsters.

And, finally, a wonderful story about God from Rabbi Adam Stein, ("Jooz Nooz"), Chabad at Stony Brook University:

One day G-d was sitting in Heaven when all the scientists of the world gathered for a massive convention.  They had finally discovered the secret to creation, and they too could now create the world on their own.  The conclusion was that there was no longer any need for G-d.

So the scientists appointed a representative to approach G-d with their new found conclusion.  "Lord, we don't need You anymore.  Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing.  In other words, we can now do what you did in the 'Beginning.'"

"Oh, is that so?  Tell me..."replied G-d.

"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it, thereby creating man."

"Well, that's interesting.  Show me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts G-d.  "First, get your own dirt!"


Search for Stories Beginning with the Letter
N O P Q R S T U V W   Y Z
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:
yiddish for dog and cat loversbook
"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!

Yiddish Stuff
Jewish Humor
Schmooze News
More Majorie Wolfe
Jewish Stories
All Things Jewish
Jewish Communities of the World
Site Designed and Maintained by
Haruth Communications