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As most "tate-mame" (parents) and children know, Bert and Ernie are two muppets on the popular U. S. children's TV show, Sesame Street. They appear together in numerous skits, forming a "komiker" (comic) duo. Ernie is "oranzh" (orange) and Bert is "gel" (yellow). Ernie and Bert live "tsuzamen" (together) in the "keler" (basement) of 123 Sesame Street. They sleep together in separate beds, though they share a "shloftsimer" (bedroom). They also share food and feelings.
There is an occasional suggestion that they are gay lovers. This is denied by Sesame Workshop, the corporation that owns the show and the characters.
Bert is attracted to women and once seranaded Connie Stevens in the "Some Enchanted Evening" song. He even recorded a song about his girlfriend, "I Want to Hold Your Ear." Bert's pet "toyb" (pigeon) is named Bernice, who enjoys playing checkers.
FYI: Rechov Sumsum was the first Israeli co-produced Sesame Street, and the Hebrew names for the characters are as follows:
Ernie: Arik
Bert: Bentz (common nickname for
"Ben-Tzion")
Cookie Monster:
"Oogi, Oogi ha-Mifletzet or
Oogifletzet
Grover:
Kruvi
Super Grover:
Kruvi Ahuvi
Oscar the Grouch:
Mar Ashpach (Mr. Trashcan")
Herry Monster:
Shraga
Beautiful Day Monster:
Ezra
Prairie Dawn:
Miri
The Amazing Mumford:
Malkush ha-Kosem
ha-Gadol ("Malkush the great
Wizard)
With Hanukkah rapidly approaching (Dec. 20), can we expect to hear an episode titled, "Bert and Ernie, the letters H, C, and D and the Number 8"?
Ernie: Hi, there. We're Ernie and Bert.
Doc: Hi, there yourself. I'm Doc, (AKA "der dokter.")
Bert: Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D"?
Doc: Yes.
Ernie: Yes! Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y."
Doc. True.
Ernie: And True starts with the letter "T."
Doc. [noticing "akht" (8) gift-wrapped packages all wrapped in blue and white paper] Hey, what's that?
Ernie: They're Hanukkah gifts. Hanukkah starts with the letter "H."
Bert: You're wrong, Ernie. Hanukkah often starts with the letters "C."
Ernie: What "Heder" (Hebrew school) did you attend?
Bert: I attended the Midway Jewish Center in Syosset, New York, and I know all about the holiday. Yes, holiday begins with the letter "H."
Ernie: So, what do you know?
Bert: Hanukkah is celebrated for eight days. Each night another candle is lit and placed in a special eight- branched candelabra called a "menorah." Menorah begins with the letter "M." A "shamash" candle is lit first and used to kindle the others.
Ernie: A "kindle"? That's what I got last year for Hanukkah...a Kindle e-book reader.
Bert: Listen, the word "kindle" also means to light or set on fire.
Ernie: Oh, yes, families often place their menorahs in the "fentster" (window) or other visible spot to bear witness to the miracle.
Bert: Don't families play "dreidel," a traditional game that uses a spinning top?
Ernie: Yes, and "dreidel" starts with the letter "D." It is also traditional to eat foods cooked in oil, like "latkes" (potato pancakes) or "sufganiyot" (Israeli jelly donuts).
Bert: Getting back to Hanukkah...
Ernie: Here are just some of the many spellings:
Chanuka
Chanukah
Chanukkah
Channukah
Channukkah
Hanukah
Hannukkah
Hanuka
Hanukka
Haneka
Hanika
Khanukkah
You can rest assure that they are all the same celebration.
Ernie: And what about "Chrismukkah"?
Bert: What's "Chrismukkah"? It's NOT on my calendar.
Ernie: According to Ron Gompertz, "Chrismukkah" begins on the first night of Hanukkah and continues through Christmas Day, whichever occurs later. It's for families with both Jewish and Christian members. It solves what has been called "The December Dilemma" and eliminates the friction, confusion, and awkward- ness sometimes brought on by the holidays. And for parents, Chrismukkah can be a great way to introduce children to the traditions and rituals of both Hanukkah and Christmas."
Bert: And what do you eat during "Chrismukkah?"
Ernie: Gompertz suggests Ho Ho Hummis, Bubbie Ganoush, Merry Cherry Borscht, and Chutzpah Mix
Bert: Mmmmmmm," that sounds good. How about Oskar Menorah Weiners, a recipe by Jeff Warmouth?
Ernie: Let's sing a new holiday song. It's titled, "It's the Most Meshugganah Time of the Year" and it is taken from Ron Gompertz's book, "Chrismukkah - The Merry Mish- Mash Holiday," published in 2005.
It's the most meshuggnah time of the year Many gifts I'll be buying and Latkes need frying 'Cause Chrismukkah's here... It's the most meshuggunah time of the year
To the mall I'll be shlepping You know I'll be kvetching The roads will be jammed driving home Then back out I'll be going Menorah's not glowing I'm all out of candles you know.
OY
It's the most meshugganah time of the year My children are bumming Cause Santa's not coming With all his reindeer It's the most meshugganah time of the year
Ernie: Oh, Bert, you're such a suave, sophisticated showman...and so intelligent.
Bert: Listen, Doc, according to Byron Kerman, "Jews have some pretty funny holidays. We got one where we make a shack out of fruits and vegetables and we juggle lemons inside of it. We have another holiday where we leave little drops of red wine on a white plate to commemorate the 10 plagues of ancient Egypt. It's very Macbeth." ("Sex, Drugs & Gefilte Fish" by Shana Liebman, article titled, "The True Meaning of Christmas.")
Ernie & Bert:
Well, Doc, we've got to go. Time to
make the "latkes." Did you know
that "latkes" starts with the letter
"L"?
Doc: Yes. Yummy-yummy! Just remember that one serving of potato latkes has between 240 and 264 calories... but who is counting?
Ernie & Bert:
Happy Hanukkah! Happy Chanukah!
---------------------------------------------
Marjorie Wolfe's favorite reason why
everyone should celebrate Hanukkah:
#9 Cleaning wax off your menorah is slightly easier than dismantling a 8-foot tall
fir tree.
---------------------------------------------
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