BBQ TIME
by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

t's barbecue (BBQ) season.  A barbecue is a meal cooked on an open fire out of doors, especially meat ("fleysh")  grilled on a metal appliance.

If you're in California's desert off Highway 10 on a Tuesday, Chabad of Rancho Mirage hosts a weekly community barbecue.  It has been "redefining gastronomic Judaism," according to Rivka Chaya Berman. The community barbecues are held from October to June.

They serve 1-inch "dic" (thick) steaks, and patties are flipped into single and double "kotlets" (hamburgers).

Jewish diners order up California style veggies burgers and veggie "zup" (soup).

Building bonds between Jews in the area is as part of the barbecue as hotdogs and mustard ("zeneft"),  At least one couple met at the barbecue and married.

Shown below is the Yiddish version of the

           DEFINITION OF A BBQ

It's the only type of cooking a real man will do.  When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

1. The woman goes to shop at SuperSol-- Kashrut supervised by Vaad of Riverdale.
2. The woman makes "der salat" (the salad), "dos grins" (vegetables), and dessert.  "Tzegaitsich in moyl" (It's so delicious it melts in your mouth.)
3. The woman prepares "dos fleysh" (the meat) for cooking, placing it on "di tats" (the tray) along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, "bir" (beer) in hand.
4. The man places "dos fleysh" on the grill. He brags that he's "ambifresstic"--a Yetta Emmes term for "having the ability to eat hors d'oeuvres with both hands while maintaining a conversation."
5. The woman goes "ineveynik" (inside) to organize the plates and "di gopl-lefl" (silverware).
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the "fleysh" is burning.  He says, "a dank"--Thank you--and asks if she will bring him a can of He'Brew, the Chosen Beer, whilst he deals with the situation.
   
7. he man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to "der tish" (table).
9. The man says, "Ess.  Ess."  (Eat.  Eat.) "Ess gezunterhait." (Eat in good health.) There are children in Beverly Hills with eating disorders."
10. After eating, the woman clears the table and does "di keylim" (the dishes).
11. Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
12. The man shares  a food joke:  A waiter walks out of "di kikh' (the kitchen) carrying a steak.  A second waiter says to him, "Moishe, what's your thumb doing in the meat?"  Moishe replies, "What you want I should drop it AGAIN?"
13. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."
14. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
15. "Zol zein!"  (That's all!)
    

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:

"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!