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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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Several years ago, after having bypass surgery, my "man" (husband) was given Ambien, the most prescribed sleep " meditsin" (medicine) in the U. S. He received the drug in the Recovery Room of a Manhattan hospital. Within a short time he began to hallucinate and had violent outbursts. This mild-mannered man had to be restrained by security guards. "Zolst nit vish fun azelkhe tsores." (May you not know of such troubles.)
Al Franken ("Oh, TheThings I Know") wrote, "In Chapter 5, "Oh the Drugs You Will Take!" Let's face it. Many of you have already taken a lot of drugs. For the new generation, it is pot, Ritalin, alcohol, Prozac, Valium, Percodan, Paxil, Xanax, coke, special K, Rohypnol, ecstasy, Zoloft, bathtub crystal meth, Claritin, Steroids, Oxy-Contin, and PrilosecManagement of sleep problems is not as simple as gving someone a prescription for a sleeping medication. There are side effects.
Imagine these headlines about the side effects of Ambien:
"Pigouts Tied to Ambien"
"To Sleep, Perchance to...Walk"
"Dick 'Trigger Finger' Cheney Rumored to be on Ambien when he shot Whittington"
"To Sleep - Perchance to Eat" A woman in Florida balloons from a size 1 to a size 12 after years of getting up at night and binge-eating.
"Kosher Restaurant to offer Early Bird menus to Ambien- Influenced Customers"
Sleep specialists (AKA "shlof mavens") are concerned with reports of episodes of sleep walking and related strange and " geferlekh" (dangerous) side effects of Ambien. One law firm, Parker & Waichman, reported that one physician at Mass. General Hospital in Boston could not recall advising residents on rounds the morning after taking Ambien. Timothy Morgenthaler, a researcher at the Mayo Clinic Sleep Disorder Center says he has sees "a sakh" (many) cases of people who sleepwalk and sleep-eat after taking Ambien. " He described five cases in a 2002 report. All these "paytsyents" (patients) stopped having sleep-eating episodes when they discontinued Ambien. (Since then there have been many similar cases.) One 55-year-old woman said she took Ambien nightly for six years. During that time she regularly got out of "di bet" (the bed) after having fallen asleep, went to "di kikh" (the kitchen) and ate. She would find " di raye" (the evidence) of her night eating afterward, but had no memory of doing it. KDKA investigator, Marty Griffin, says some of the stories about side effects of Ambien are funny ("komish"). One man ate an entire roll of "kikhl" (cookie) dough in the middle of the night. "Er hot a kats in kop." (He can't remember a thing.)Another man danced around "naket" (naked) in the bedroom of his "shviger" (mother-in-law). "Gotenyu!"
Maureen Dowd reports that one woman said she gained 100 pounds from sleep-eating while on Ambien. Stephanie Saul reports that some "night eaters remember nothing about their foraging." They simply wake up to find telltale clues: mouthfuls of peanut butter chips in "di bet", missing food, and lighted "ovyns" (ovens) and stoves. Some suffer from such "farlegnhayt" (embarrassment) that they delay telling anyone, even as they gain "vog" (weight). On a more humorous note, William Stockton (www.Satirium.com) said: "One day an official envelope from the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) arrived in the mail. Inside was my new private pilot license along with a letter exhorting me to fly safely and not to take up any middle eastern-looking men. Huh? I'm not sure how I knew to do this, but I drove to the little airport outside town and walked into the office. The guy behind the desk knew me. Called me by name. Turns out he was my flight instructor. I had earned my pilot's license in successive night flying lessons with him. So I rented their Cessna 172, had a nice solo flight and made a flawless landing. I recently joined the National Association of Ambien Pilots, all Ambien pilots like me who learned to fly while sleepwalking." :-) A second story: The manager of a 24-hour restaurant told thevoiceofreason.com, Now let's get this into perspective. The number of Ambien influenced customers is small, but it's undeniable that they are becoming a useful table-filling customer base in the 2 am - 4 am graveyard shift." The number of Ambien influenced customers who get into their cars, drive to a 24 hour restaurant, eat a meal, and then drive home to wake up not remembering anything, is unknown, but rising, our sources assure us. Some diners only become aware they went out for a meal at night when the bill appears on their credit card ("kredit-kartl"), or they find tomato ketchup sachets and napkins on the pillow ("di kishn"). Hugh Halibut, Manager of 24 hour " Prawns," Orlando, said, "It's not like it's Ambien-Zombieville in the 24 hour restaurant business at night, but it cannot be denied that their business is growing, and they're just great tippers. The typical Ambien influenced customer is quiet and polite and only rarely needs help to be propped up straight during the meal." :-) _____
Marjorie G. Wolfe does not take Ambien... or sleepwalk. IF SHE DID, she'd
head straight for the freshly-baked rugelach."
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