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Visiting an airport is a "vunderlekh" (wonderful) experience for children.
Many schools take their young students on a field trip to the closest airport. Children enrolled at the Palo Verde College Child Development Center, for example, visit the Blythe Airport. Students who attend school
in the Rockaways (NY). visit JFK airport.
So much of what we hear and read about airports and pilots puts us in a "negativ-geshtimt" (negative mood).
94-YEAR-OLD COMPLAINS OF TSA PAT-DOWN
EL AL AIRLINES FLIGHT WHICH TOOK OFF FROM BANGKOK TO TEL AVIV, LANDED IN MUMBAI, INDIA
THOUSANDS OF BREACHES AT US AIRPORTS
RALEIGH-BOUND PLANE CLIPPED ON RUNWAY BY ANOTHER JET
Some exceptions:
IBERIA AIRLINES, ADVERTISING IN MIAMI,
FOR FLIGHT ATTENDANTS, SAYS ONE
PREREQUISITE IS THE ABILITY TO SWIM.
(WSJ, 3/3/92)
THE WIFE OF A PILOT IS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO IS GLAD TO SAY THAT HER HUSBAND IS DOWN AND OUT.
OUR NEW FASTER-THAN-SOUND JET PLANES ARE WONDERFUL. YOU CAN EAT DINNER IN LONDON AND GET INDIGESTION IN NEW YORK CITY.
I recently had "der fargenign" (the pleasure) of reading two very touching
stories about airports. One was written
by the late Art Buchwald on Oct. 19, 2006.
It was titled, "The Last Flight Out." Just a little background information about Art's brave spirit. When was diagnosed as terminally ill, he decided to forgo dialysis for his failing kidneys, and instead checked into a hospice, where he could receive family and friends in the weeks before his death.
For reasons even the doctors can't explain, his kidneys kept working. He then moved to his summer home on Martha's Vineyard and wrote his last book, "Too Soon To Say Goodbye."
And now to the story, "The Last Flight Out":
I have been at Dulles Airport for six months waiting to take a plane to Heaven
Every day the airline has another excuse why I can't go--bad weather, overbooking, the plane is grounded in Miami, mechanical trouble, de-icing.
I went up to the counter and asked the lady, "What's the latest story about getting to Heaven?"
She look at the computer. "What's the hurry?" she asked.
I said, "Once you know you're going on a trip, you pack all your clothes, you say goodbye to friends and family, and you want to go when you said you were going."
The agent replied, "Once we get all our regular passengers on board, we'll start loading the standbys."
"Why are the planes so full?" I asked.
She said, "Heaven is still one of the most popular places to go. I haven't been there myself, but I know a lot of people who have and I hear it's great. For many, it's a religious experience."
Then I asked her, "When you go, will you fly on an employee pass?"
"No one flies to Heaven free, but when the time comes, we are allowed to go first class."
"I thought everyone went first class," I said.
The lady look at the computer again. She assigned me a seat.
I said, "Can I have one next to the window? I want to see what I'm leaving."
She said, "Some people want to look down and others don't. It depends on what kind of time they had on Earth."
"Can you give me some idea as to when I can leave?"
She said, "You're moving up on the list. I have to ask you this question. Do you have a living will?"
"Yes. My doctor thought it would be a good idea."
She asked, "Did the doctor tell you it was okay to fly?"
I replied, "He's a good doctor. He wouldn't agree to it unless he was certain I was ready. What do I have to do while I'm waiting?"
"You can watch Oprah on television, hang out at the bar or get a haircut. There's also a game room with pinball machines."
I became irritated and demanded, "What does it take to get to Heaven?"
"Going to heaven is a religious thing. All the big religions--Christianity, Islam, Judaism--are booking flights. Atheists are in our data bank too. They're on the no-fly list."
I said, "I'm Jewish. Every time I do a good deed it's written in a book. The more mitzvahs I accumulate, the more insurance I have of getting a good spot."
A man standing behind me said, "Hurry it up!"
I turned and asked, "What's your hurry?"
He said, "You're taking too much time and my family is waiting for me in Heaven."
I, being a smart aleck, said, "Don't worry, they'll still be there when you arrive."
The lady started calling the names of stand-by passengers.
Who knows when she'll get to me? (Source: Washingtonpost.com)
Note: Art Buchwald passed away in 2007.
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