A IS FOR ABECEDARIAN

by
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

Syosset, New York

Abecedarian is "dos vort" (the word) for items arranged in alphabetical order. One could make an abecedarian list of tomorrow's errands: "der bank," "der katsev" (butcher), "di shpayzkrom" (grocery), and "di shul." If you're a bird watcher, you want to keep a "reshime"(list) of sightings.

When my family asks, "Vos tut zikh?" (What's going on?), I reply, "I'm making a "reshime."

Here are some of my lists:

1. Favorite Jewish motorcycle clubs
Chai Riders
Chaiway Riders
Hillel's Angels
King David Motorcycle Club
Members of the Tribe
Star of Davidson Motorcycle Club
(The) Tribe Motorcycle Club
Yidden on Wheels

2. Jewish dating services
Frumster.com
JDate.com
JRomances.com
Jewishfriends.com
Matches.com
Nuyenta.com
Shoshannasmatches.com

3. Mickey Katz's favorite "shticks"
" Barber of Schlemiel"
" Borscht Riders in the Sky"
" Haim Afen Range"
" It's a Michaye in Hawaiye"
" It's a Schlemiel of Fortune"
" Nature Bocher"
" PoipleKishke Eater"
" She'll Be Coming 'Round at the Katzkills"
" Yiddish Mule Train"

4. Yiddish words necessary for survival
(according to Jackie Mason and Raoul
Felder)
Ahf Tsu Loches
Billik
Chozzer
Chutzpah
Feh
Fumfer
Goy
Handle
Kishkes
Oy Vey
Schlemiel or Schlimazel
Schlock
Schmear
Schmjck
Shmatte

5. Names describing the Jewish Catskills
" Borscht belt"
" derma road"
" Jewish alps"

6. Jewish Bands
" Chai-5"
" Chopped Livef River Band (The)
" Gay Iz Mir" (gay-oriented klezmer group)
" Schlock Rock"
" Tennessee Schmaltz"
" Yid Vicious"
" Yiddishe Cup"

7. Humorous abbreviations
A.K. Alter- kaker (taboo)
SBN South Bronx "nishdugedacht"
VD Voo Den; Volume Discount
Vin Yid
A Jew on vacation on Martha's
Vineyard

8. Jewish "shandes" (scandals)

Amy Fisher
Heidi Fleiss
Meyer Lansky
Chandra Levy
Meyer Lansky
Monica Lewinsky
Michael Milkin
Julius/Ethel Rosenberg

9. Humorous websites
AskYenta.com
GantsehMegillah.com
Koshernosh.com
Misterbrisket.com
Oyveyauctions.com
Usavegelt.com
Yiddishnames.com

10. Top 10 things Jews are good at

"gesheft"
"garderob" (der)
"kibbitzing"
"kompyuter" (der)
"meditsin"
Mah Jongg
"shpatzirn" (to walk w/o destination)
"tsodokeh"
yatatata (chattering)
"zingen"

11. Haikus
(David Bader's "Haikus for Jews")
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Tochis.
Oy! To be fluent!

(Mark Blei)
Scrabble anarchy
after 'putzhead' is
placed on
a triple-word score.

________
When Marjorie makes a list, she's "gliklekh vi der velt"--happy as can be.

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___________________________________________
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of
two books:

"Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers" and
"Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?  Yiddish
Trivia."  To order a copy, go to her
website: MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com

NU, what are you waiting for?  Order the book!