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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
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*The Yiddish word for "insult" is "baleydikung."
"To insult" is "baleydikn."
DON RICKLES, the King of Insult, will be performing at the Theatre at Westbury, located on Long Island, New York. Shown below is an A - Z Guide to the comedian who found that traditional gags didn't work for him, but "working the audience" did.
A ACCIDENT/ MISHAP - "umglik"
"Oh, my God. Look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?" (quiote)
ADMIRE
Rickles was asked to name comics he admires. He says that Shecky Greene
was pretty good.
FYI: One of the funniest jokes said by Shecky Greene: "I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one more letter she'd have to remember. She's an A student. All she knows how to say is 'Ayyyyyy.'"
ADORED
"The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson." (quote)
APARTMENT - "dire"
Don Rickles grew up in Jackson Heights, New York. He says he lived in a
plain apartment like a million ("milyon") other apartments in NYC's five
boroughs.
ATTITUDE
"You know what's funny ("komish") to me? Attitude." (quote)
B Beach Chair (The Yiddish word for "beach" is "plazhe"; a "shtul"
is a "chair."
"No matter where you go in the world, you will always find a Jew sitting
in the beach chair next to you." (quote)
BLANKET ("koldre")
"I can sit all day in a comfortable chair and watch ball games, but I don't
need a blanket." (quote)
C CAR ("oyto") REPAIRS
Rickles said that his dad was the guy who taught him all he knows about car
repairs: "Pay someone to do it for you."
CATHARSIS
Rickles thinks there's a catharsis in what he does. "People laugh because they
can see that ultimately it's all a satire of attitudes and prejudices."
CLOTHES/CLOTHING ("klayder")
"Who picks your clothes--Stevie Wonder?" (quote)
E EMMY AWARDS
In 2008, Rickles won two Emmy awards, beating out Stephen Colbert. To this
he said, "Stephen Colbert's a funny man, but he's too young. He has plenty
of time to win awards, but this may be my last year and I think I made it count.
On second thought, it was probably just a mercy award for an old man."
Note: The Yiddish word meaning "mercy" is "rachmones."
F FAT JACK LEONARD - ( "fet" or "zaftik")
There were performers before Rickles who used insult as their central device.
Most notably, the comic called Fat Jack Leonard. He once told Ed Sullivan,
"DON'T WORRY, ED--SOMEDAY YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF...AND YOU'LL
BE TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED.
FATHER - "tate"
Rickles' lighthearted father sold synagogue tickets to services like a scalper
at a ballgame. He would shuffle around the worshippers, moving some of
the higher-donation members to better seats. (The proceeds went directly to God.)
Source: "Rickes' Book - A Memoir" by Don Rickles with David Ritz.
FRIEND ("fraynd" or "khaver")
Rickles considers Bob Newhart to be his best friend. In fact, if one were to
drop in at Bob's house, the doormat reads, "The Newharts...The Rickles' best
friends."
FUNNY ("komish")
"Some people say funny things, but I say things funny." (quote)
FUR ("pelts")
Rickles has called a woman wearing an ostentatious fur coat "an old
beaver in heat."
GRAVE ("keyver") SITE
Rickles's grave site in Elmont, NY, faces the finish line at Belmont.
H HOCKEY PUCK
"When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building
contractor, the guy pouring cement ("tsement") and what not, will yell,
'HEY, YOU HOCKEY PUCK.'"
Rickles started calling ill-mannered members of the audience ("oylem") in burlesque houses a HOCKEY PUCK.
FROG ("frosh")
Once when Rickles appeared as a panelist on Hollywood Squares, he
was asked this question: "You go down to a brook and you catch a frog.
Then you rub it on your face! Just what is that supposed to do?"
Rickles replied, "That's supposed to put you in the state hospital ("shpitol")."
H HOME ("heym") REPAIRS
The Yiddish word meaning "to repair" is "farrikhtn."
Max, Don Rickles' dad, taught him everything ("altsding") about home
repairs. Here's how it worked. Mom wants to hang a picture. Max
offers the janitor, the mailman--anyone who's around--a couple of bucks
to bang a nail into the wall. No one ever takes the money--they like
Max too much--except the janitor, who's mad he has to live in the basement."
ILLNESS ("krankayt")
According to Zoe Heller ("Just Don't Call Me Sir," The New Yorker, Aug. 2,
2004), Rickles suffer from diabetes, he has a bad hip, and dodgy knees.
He is also prone to Gout.
FYI: Gout was historically known as "the disease of Kings" or the "Rich Man's disease."
INSURANCE SALESMAN ( 'farzikherung farkoyfer")
Rickles did a stint as an insurance salesman, like his father. He said, "I
was always great at the pitch, but I could never do the closing."
IMPRESSED
Rickles' grandchildren are much more impressed by his having played
"Mr. Potato Head" than by any of his other career achievements.
M MAKEUP
Lipstick: "lipnstift"; Rouge: "shminke"
Rickles was once asked in an interview, "You once sold makeup door to
door. What line did you open up with?"
"My God, lady, I don't have spackle."
MOTHER ("muter")
ADVICE ("eytse")
"My mother was a Jewish General Patton." She gave him this advice:
"Tell nice stories like Bob Newhart."
[To an elderly ("alt") woman] Rickles said, "Hi ya, mom. I spoke to the home--you go on Friday."
O - OBESE/FAT ("zaftik")
To a fat person, Rickles asks, "What do you eat for dinner? Furniture?"
P - PIOUS/RELIGIOUS ("religyez" or "frum")
Rickles says that he was raised in a strictly Orthodox home. He says, "I'm
still very pious, very conscious of being Jewish."
R - RELAX
When Rickles spoke to audiences and when drunks would yell, "Hey,
when do the broads come on?" he replied, "Relax, clear your skin up
first."
RETIREMENT - "tsuriktsien zikh" means "to retire"
Rickles was asked if he plans to retire. He replied that he has no plans to
retire. "I'm in good health. I'm working better than I ever have. The
audiences are great. Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell
rings and you come out and fight. My energy comes alive. And I still
enjoy it."
S SEAT ("zitsort") A "chair" is a "shtul."
Rickles says he has never had a serious run-in with an insulted fan.
In fact, "people try to get seats up front where the odds are better they'll
get to them."
SINATRA'S VOICE ("shtime")
In 1956 at the Slate Brothers Club in LA, Frank Sinatra was in the audience.
Rickles, who had never met Sinatra, said, "Frank, I've seen you in
nightclubs, I've watched you in movies, I've listened to you on records,
and I say this from the heart--Frank, your voice is gone. It's all over for you.
You're making a fool of yourself. You've got to find some other work."
SMART PHONES - "klug" means "smart"; "narish" means "dumb" or "stupid."
Rickles said, "Smart Phones. Who cares? Smart Phones. I only have dummy
phones."
T TEACHER/INSTRUCTOR ("lehrer" or "lerer" or "melamed")
Rickles starred in C.P.O. Sharkey from 1976 to 1978. He was Chief
Petty Officer, Otto Sharkey.
TRANSFORM - "ibermakhn" means "to transform"
Rickles said, "The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here
I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor."
TUMMLER (the Yiddish word for "noise-maker"; boisterer; roisterer)
Rickles did a stint as a tummler in the Catskills.
"WHO WOULD HAVE BELIEVED IT? ("Ver volt dos geglaibt?")
Jimmy Carter was the ONLY president who declined to see Rickles when he
visited the White House.
W - WIFE
"My wife knows I'm funny, and she knows when something I say doesn't appeal
to her. I can get an audience screaming in Las Vegas and say 'Barbara, that
was a great show,' and she'll say, 'Would you please hurry up? We have
dinner reservations at 9:30.'"
FYI: IN 1903, The Jewish Daily Forward reported that a new word had entered the Yiddish language: oysesn, or "eating out." To dine out--not at a friend's or relative's house, but at an actual restaurant--had been unheard-of in the old country (and up until that point, even in the new). The Forward reported that this stylish habit was "spreading every day, especially in New York."
During a performance, Rickles said, "Hello, sir," looking down at a man in the front row. "Is that your wife?" He paused, "Oh, well. Keep your chin up."
YOUNG - "yung"
When Rickles was a very young man, his family had a bungalow in Far Rockaway.
(Note: Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe grew up in Arverne, and student taught at Far
Rockaway High School.)
Z - ZOOS
"Jews don't work at zoos." (quote)
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MARJORIE GOTTLIEB WOLFE will be speaking at the Syosset Public Library on Long Island on Thursday, May 28 at 2 p.m. Her topic: "The Bintel Brief in 2015."
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